funny made up headlines

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( this a crazy group of headlines I have either found or made up these)

1.Scientist have discovered that monkeys that have been stabbed have a dramatically shorter life span than normal monkeys.

2.some people believe in the Lochness Monster, some people believe in big foot, but in Mobile Alabama,USA there is a man who is hunting a legendary creature named Geysecks. The reason this man was is hunting Geysecks because he belives that it has eaten his brother.
"After my brother was consumed by Geysecks, I made a promis on my fathers grave that I would hunt Geysecks until I had it!"

3. In todays news Eminent scientist have finally made contact with God, These scientist requested that God retire from running the universe. God agreed under one condition, that the scientist create a human being from dust, the scientist complied but as they bent down to collect some dust, God stopped them and told them to get their own dust.

No attempts to further contact God have been made since then.

4. In todays news , A woman spends all day staring at a Orange juice carton because it says "Concentrate"
Last edited by Monument Soul on Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:58 am, edited 2 times in total.




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Haha, this was good. It scares me that some of these were actually real headlines. Which ones did you make up? I'm horrible at guessing, so I'm not going to. :)
So it goes.




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Moved to Randomness. I don't think this belongs in Dramatic Poetry ;)
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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Love the last one. Sounds like a joke I make with my parents every time they tell one of our two mini dachshunds to focus. One of the mini dachshunds, whomever it may be at that point, says 'I can't focus. I'm a dachshund not a car'. Get focus is also the name of a car.
One person's craziness is another person's reality
-Tim Burton




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Mobile Alabama,USA


Props to Mob-town. (I'm from there, so it's ok that I say it.) ^^

lol. "Geysecks."


~anti-pop
...Bitter cold, it grows
changing holds
cynicism the new norm...

-Libretto




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Hehe, the third one is funny. ^_^
Matt.




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The third one is REALLY funny--for real! :D

Ok... so... five minutes have gone by and I'm still laughing!

I lied. Five minutes did not go by. But hey, it's still darn funny! :lol:
*Let us rise and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.--Buddha*



He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.
— Friedrich Nietzsche