Well I reread the whole thing and I edited. I really tried to correct all the tenses and "talking heads" as Stella calls them. If you find anymore could you please point them out to me? Sorry about the big info-dump in the beginning. I kinda made it into a mini prologue. I thought it would be too short to be a real one... So here is my story!
Chapter 1
After the Great War ended, only the five strongest nations remained. There was the Avian, or the angel-winged folk, the Samuh, whose ancestors were the destructive humans, and the Eleanian, who could interact with animals like their own kin. The other two were the Laroc and the Retore. The Laroc controlled weather patterns, making their lands rich with agriculture. The Retore were shape shifters and loved to play pranks. The rest disappeared to the depths of extinction. The five nations split the land peacefully, tired of war and hardships, and went their own way. When they separated, they lost all contact with each other. They forgot more about the other lands as each new generation came. Soon, the magic flowed back into the land and made a thin veil between each nation.
***
I opened my eyes to see two people staring at me. “Oh Renn, darling! I thought you wouldn’t come out of this one,” my mother said, her voice filled with concern. I gave her a small smile.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” I replied. I blinked and looked around. “Maire! Why are you here?” I asked the tall girl in the corner. She gave her famous cat smile.
“Renn, do you think I'm so mean? Of course I would visit you if you were sick! I’ve been your friend for how many years?” she exclaimed with a little sniff. “But I must say you are a very weird. You get blackouts constantly and you don’t even remember what happens before you get them!”
It was true. Ever since I was seven I had fainted many times and never remembered once what it was about. People stayed away from me because of my blackouts but also my quiet demeanor. Maire and I were only friends because she was new in town when she met me and didn’t hear the rumors. Plus, she lived right next to me, so our mothers who loved us “making little friends” introduced us. It wasn’t that bad, we got along just fine.
“Yeah, yeah,” I said and rolled my eyes. “So what happened this time?”
"We were just coming out of school and all of a sudden you fell. Your dad had to carry you back," she said quickly. I groaned.
“Now, now. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” my mother said, and brought me a warm bowl of soup.
“You always say that!” I complained. She just shook her head, and chuckled.
“When you’re a mother you’ll act like that too,” she replied swiftly and left the room.
I slurped the soup nosily, the delicious flavor of rosemary tickling my taste buds. “Yum. That was heaven.”
Maire laughed and said, “You’re so lucky your mom can cook. When my mom tries to cook the whole thing explodes.” I laughed with her. Then her expression turned serious and she said quietly “Did you show your mom yet?” I stared at her.
“Show her what?” I replied. She glared at me.
“You know what," she said and sighed.
“Maire! She’s not even my real mother, and she tries so hard to be like one. If I blow this bomb on her it will break her to pieces.”
“Fine. But don’t ask me to come and help you when she finds out by someone else and locks you up in a tower for not telling her.”
“She’s not going to find out. I’ve only told you. And you won’t tell, right?” I asked nervously.
She sighed. “I guess not.” Then she grinned evilly, saying “Come on! If you aren’t going to tell your mom, then lets have some fun with it.”
***
“Maire! This is not a good idea!” I cried. She didn't hear me and letted out a whoop. I shifted my weight to the right and narrowly missed a tree. The thin square of energy I had made was below our feet, and we were riding air... literally.We flew high, yet we were low enough to be hidden beneath the massive forest of trees. At first we were unbalanced and moved jerkily, but once we had gotten used to it, it was easy. The small panel of energy was almost stuck to our feet so we wouldn’t fall off. It gave me a feeling that was indescribable.
Nobody had gone into the air ever since the human’s invention called an airplane had been destroyed. It could travel on air and carry multiple amounts of passengers. Yet, when the Great War had started it was used as a lethal weapon to drop bombs effortlessly on the enemies land. It killed many people and was a main factor in the ending of the Great War. An ending in which only we, the Samuh, had survived. After the Great War all the airplanes were destroyed to make sure it would not be used to kill anymore.
The wind blew at my face, making my dark brown hair go flying out of its hair tie. Ignoring the stinging pain on my bare skin, I began to smile. Then I shot after Maire. We raced for a while then slowed, and enjoyed the dark indigo sky that matched my eyes. It shined with blazing white stars. “Why didn't I think of this before?” Maire yelled over the wind.
“I don’t know but I love it,” I yelled back.
When we landed on the riverside we were both panted heavily. “That. Was. Awesome!”
I nodded, still out of breath. “Renn, I absolutely love your crazy power!” she exclaimed.
“I guess it is pretty cool.”
“Only pretty cool? I say it’s awesome. You can take energy from different sources and shape the energy into anything you want! Plus you can control them with your mind.”
I laughed and said, “Maybe I should take some of your everlasting energy!”
I put my hand on the grass and concentrated. Slowly a small amount of energy came into my fingertips. The grass looked slightly browner. “Oops, little too much that time,” I said.
“You better be careful Renn. You don’t want to go killing everything for their energy.” I gasp at her sudden seriousness and stare at her.
“I would never!”
She sighed and said, “I know, but you should be careful.” I nodded glumly; the thought of killing something or someone was horrible.
“Let’s go back home now,” I said then gave a big yawn. Then my eyes drooped and I fell into another one of my blackouts.
I am standing in an open plain, but there is mist everywhere. I waved my hands around, trying to clear the air. “What is this?” I thought. “This had never happened before.” Suddenly I see a faint flicker of light and moved for it. My work is slow, as the light often goes out, blocked by the thick mist. When I'm standing in front of the light I see a small orb. It is glowing brilliant colors, radiating energy all around it. I reach for it. The moment I touch it I hear a voice. It is not male or female, a voice that I have never heard before. “Welcome Renn.” I swung around but there isn't anyone there. “You need not be afraid, I will not harm you. I merely wish to talk. To explain things about your destiny.”
“Who are you? What do you mean my destiny?” I cried frantically.
The voice ignores me and says,
“You must travel to the distant lands.
You must find the Children, one in each.
You must join together hand in hand,
Around the great white tree of beech.”
The words swirl around my head and then there is darkness.
Anyways, on with the review!
