Thank you Summer

Thank you summer.

Thank god for summer,
Balmy beauty makes me feel so fine
Bright sunshine seems never ending,
Could lie still for ever,
Just watching the cotton bud clouds,
As they pass through marvellous blue
Trail my hand, watching the ripples spread
Deliciously cold in the water,
Such a perfect compliment
To the warm breeze, that caresses
Sun freckled cheeks beaming,
With that healthy white grin under
Loose straw- blonde hair.


Thank god for winter,
Dark depressions plague the mind,
Feeling trapped in the dark,
As heavy clouds swirl above
The tempest in my head roars
And thunder and lightning strike with anger.
Pale faces view a violent sky
Shivering as rain lashes down.
Wearing layers in threes,
We trudge through the snow
And the cold, it cuts right to the bone
Leaving me chilled
Like your love, after you're gone


Still, thanks for the winter,
For without the dark, the emptiness,
The pain,
I would never be
So thankfull, for summer
And the way she makes me feel so free.

I liked the poem and I liked the concept. Good job! The rhythm and all that jazz was fine, or at least I thought so. My one little complaint would be the punctuation. You just sort of throw it in at random, like, a bunch of commas, and maybe a period at the end of a stanza. I would show you exactly where to put all those little marks and so forth, but alas, I suck at punctuation. So my only suggestion would be to go back, sort of clean it up, see where you want certain thoughts to begin and end, etc. Other than that little nitpick, awesome!

Lovely poem! Here's my input:

Thank you summer.

Thank god for summer, : God is usually capitalized. Is the lower case for effect?
Balmy beauty makes me feel so fine
Bright sunshine seems never ending,
Could lie still for ever, : I think this would sound nicer if it started with "I".
Just watching the cotton bud clouds,
As they pass through marvellous blue
Trail my hand, watching the ripples spread : Maybe "trailing"?
Deliciously cold in the water,
Such a perfect compliment
To the warm breeze, that caresses
Sun freckled cheeks beaming, : I think "beaming" would sound nice starting the next line.
With that healthy white grin under
Loose straw- blonde hair.


Thank god for winter, : Again with the lowercase.
Dark depressions plague the mind,
Feeling trapped in the dark, : This line reads a little funny to me. It sounds like the "dark depressions" are the ones feeling trapped, not you/the subject of the poem.
As heavy clouds swirl above
The tempest in my head roars
And thunder and lightning strike with anger.
Pale faces view a violent sky I LOVE THIS LINE!
Shivering as rain lashes down.
Wearing layers in threes,
We trudge through the snow
And the cold, it cuts right to the bone
Leaving me chilled
Like your love, after you're gone


Still, thanks for the winter, : You start off saying "Thank god" but then switch to directly thanking God. Maybe, "give thanks"?
For without the dark, the emptiness,
The pain,
I would never be
So thankfull, for summer *thankful
And the way she makes me feel so free.


I really, really liked this. There are some odd punctuation errors, but maybe this was intentional? I like how the lines flow on almost like run-on sentences (without the exhaustion). Very nice! Gold star from me ^-^.