Clover's Curse - Chapter 12

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Hey guys! I'm back with chapter 12! So glad I've finally finished this. It was really fun to write and I hope it's fun for you to read as well. Thanks again to MeadowLark, staples, AnnaGraham, zankoku, Livinginfantasy, Stori and my best friend, Blair.

(Oh, and by the way, we're back in Clover's pov)

Chapter 12 – Friendly Strangers

Inspirational Song: Seperate Cars by the Tyde

The sun was slowly beginning to set, changing the color of the sky from light blue to lavender. The wispy clouds slowly riveted across the sky, and a few white stars were beginning to appear from behind them. There was nothing to be seen but rolling green hills on either side of the horizon. The beautiful sight made goose bumps rise on my skin. Well, actually, that could have been because of the current of chilly air whizzing past us as we rode over the path.

When we ascended up the next hill, Ivory pulled back on the reigns, stopping Fiona at the crest of the hill so we could gaze down at our destination. We had reached the kingdom.

“Whoa,” Ivory breathed.

Prince Alejandro and Mamma Verena neglected to tell us how huge Benjamin was. The sheer size of the kingdom was intimidating. From the height of the hill we stood on, we could see over the gigantic stone wall surrounding it. There were thousands of buildings layed out across the terrain. From this distance, the landscape looked like a collage of different colored rooftops and winding alleyways. I could also make out the shapes of the looming towers of a castle all the way on the opposite side, but it was so far away that I could only distinguish its shadow.

“Holy crap,” I whispered.

“I agree,” Ivory said.

Once the awe ebbed down, the panic began to rise. I’d grown up and gotten lost in a town that wasn’t even a hundredth of the size of this kingdom. Ivory’d spent her life locked up in a cottage in the heart of the forest. Neither of us knew what to expect in a city of this size. I felt Ivory’s tension mirroring mine. We stared at our journey’s end for a few moments longer. After a prolonged silence, Ivory finally said, “Let’s go.”

We descended down the valley and slowly trotted towards Benjamin. The enormous wall protecting the kingdom seemed to grow taller and wider as we approached. I couldn’t see the end of either sides of the wall when I looked from left to right, and it was easily four times as tall as the wall back in Shelton. There was no way anyone could jump a wall as secure as this one.

There was a moat circling around the wall, glimmering in the orange light of the sunset. The bridge was drawn, and two guards with cutlasses sheathed on their backs were standing on either side of the gate across the moat.

What, the giganto stone wall wasn’t enough protection? Obviously, access wasn’t easy if you wanted to get inside Benjamin.

Fiona stopped at the edge of the moat, and one of the guards stepped forward on the other side with a friendly smile.

“Are you travelers lost?” he called across the water.

“Is this…Benjamin?” Ivory asked.

“Why yes, it is,” the guard said.

“Then no, we’re not lost.”

“We’d like to enter the kingdom,” I said, then added politely, “If that’s alright.”

The friendly smile fell off his face and was replaced with a scowl. “State your name and business.”

A little taken aback, I didn’t answer right away. The guard stared at me with an expectant expression, waiting for me to talk. I stammered for a moment, and then I looked down at Ivory for help.

“Er – I’m Ivory, that’s Clover, and this is my horse, Fiona,” she began. Of course, she had to introduce the beast. “And we’ve…uh, we’ve come here to start a new life for ourselves?”

It was a pretty much the straight up truth – minus the part about running from a mobster. But the guard’s expression remained unchanged, and I was afraid that he wouldn’t let us in. But then he shrugged and said, “Eh, good enough.” Then he turned around and shrieked at the men standing up on the railing of the wall on either side of the gate, so loudly that my eardrums almost popped, “LOWER THE BRIDGE!”

The men scrambled to lower the bridge, turning the wheels and unwinding the chains holding it up. The gate began to lower with churning metal sounds. It unfolded across the water and landed on the ground in front of us with a loud bang. Fiona began to walk over the bridge towards the kingdom. Her hooves made loud clacking sounds that mingled with the bickering of the two guards who were now arguing with each other.

“…can’t believe they let you be a guard. You just let some strangers in without-”

“They’re only kids for Pete’s-”

“So? We don’t know if they’re not criminals or fugitives! Look at them! They’re filthy! You’re too careless with your authority as a-”

“Yeah? At least I don’t look over my shoulder every five minutes, jump at the smallest noises like a squirrel on crack! You’re too paranoid. Even for a-”

“Of course I am!” the other guard defended himself. “After that mobster burned down the gizmo shop three years ago? You’d think you would be a little more careful with who was let into the kingdom.”

The word mobster immediately caught my attention. I listened more carefully.

“It’s a good thing King Edward banned the scallywag from setting foot here ever again. I have the scumbag’s face engraved in my mind. That way, if he ever decides to show up here again, I’ll be ready to shove my sword up his-”

The last part of his threat was cut off by the loud bang of the gate closing behind us. I was glad that there were people here who were determined to keep Brutus out. Alejandro was right about this place being safer for us than anywhere else. From Brutus, at least. Ivory and I exchanged looks of relief and kept moving forward.

Fiona walked through the small tunnel formed into the thick wall. Up ahead, I saw the wide opening leading into Benjamin getting closer and closer. When we emerged from the shadows and into the light of the setting sun, we gazed around at the surroundings in sheer awe.

“Wow,” Ivory mumbled.

The hubbub of the kingdom was incredible. I’d never seen so much movement taking place at one time. Every part of the kingdom seemed to be in some kind of action. Almost all of the chimneys were spewing smoke into the orange tinted sky from the houses and buildings – which were of different shapes, sizes, colors. Some were showy and extravagant, others were ramshackle and in serious need of repair, and some were simplistic and everyday, like the houses in Shelton.

The people of the kingdom were animated as well, buzzing around the crowded streets. There were several workers pushing wheelbarrows across the streets full of different things; vegetables, tools, supplies, etc. I spotted a group of ladies who were eyeing the new styles in the window of a tailor’s shop before deciding to go inside, and a woman making and selling delicious looking pastries in a stall on the sidewalk.

There was even a jester in a colorful costume juggling and doing tricks for a group of laughing kids right there on the street! And, get this; they were actually giving him gold for it! For a brief moment I wondered if people would pay to see me stumble around and make a fool of myself. All I needed was a costume just like the jester’s…

“It’s pretty busy, huh?” Ivory said, ogling at a pair of kids rolling down the street wearing shoes with wooden wheels on them.

As Fiona carried us along the side of the wide brick road, careful to avoid the carriages, I noticed something else about the kingdom. There seemed to be no assemblages, nor boundaries, between the orders of class; I saw a dingy, broken down house that seemed to slump with exhaustion wedged in between a flashy yellow bakery shaped like a cake with three giant green candles as the chimneys, and a tall, intimidating manor whose windows looked like they were glaring down at me.

It seemed to me as though someone had dumped a variety of buildings and houses into a jar, shook them up, scattered the contents across the terrain and called it a kingdom. Even the castle seemed to have been randomly thrown into the mix. Benjamin was cluttered and disorganized, but that fact only seemed to give it charisma.

The liveliness didn’t die down much when the sun finally set. Shops closed and workers went home, but taverns and other restaurants opened up for business. As the sky dimmed down to a night blue, the city appeared to become brighter, like fireflies in the dark.

“Mamma Verena was right,” Ivory suddenly said, clutching the reigns on Fiona with stress.

“About what?”

“It’s gonna take us forever to find a place to stay,” she said miserably.

“Hey,” I said, wanting to cheer her up, “It’ll be okay. We’ll just ask for directions.”

Her head lifted. “Oh, yeah. I didn’t think of that.”

I laughed and searched around for someone who looked nice enough to give us directions. Everyone around us looked like they were rushing to get somewhere. I finally caught sight of an older lady with grey hair who was moving at a slower pace than most everyone, locking up a tailor shop.

“Let’s ask her. She looks nice,” I said. Ivory stopped Fiona, and we both dismounted. I wobbled for a moment when I put my feet on the ground, but Ivory laughed and helped me keep my balance. I thanked her, a little embarrassed.

“Excuse me,” I called over to the woman from across the side of the road. I had to repeat myself so she would know I was speaking to her. She turned around, startled, and looked around for who was talking.

“Over here,” I hollered. She finally spotted the two of us.

“Sorry to bother you, but do you mind giving us dir-”

“Oh, you poor things!” she squealed, cutting me off before I could finish my sentence.

“Excuse me?” I said in surprise.

“What happened to you dears? You look absolutely awful!”

Ivory, looking very insulted, said, “I beg your par-”

“Oh, come, come!” she stuck the keys back into the door of the shop and opened the jingling door, motioning for us to come over, “Come inside, darlings!”

“Uh…” I mumbled. Was this lady crazy?

Ivory nudged me with her elbow. “Just go with it. I think she wants to help us.”

She strolled forward and into the shop, and the lady held open the door for me, waiting expectantly. Her eyes were wide, glassy and earnest. I hesitated, and then followed after her. The door chimed as it closed behind me.

Inside, the shop was dimly lit and cozy. There were a few complicated, wooden devices shaped like wheels around the place, holding a variety of threads and yarns. There were also measuring tapes scattered around, mannequins and fabrics stacked on shelves. The place reminded me of a museum, because everything looked…well, not old, but antique like. Everything was really fragile, so I tried to be careful not to trip and break something.

The lady scurried around the room, grabbing several materials. “Don’t worry dears; I’ll whip you up some nice clothes…clean clothes.”

Ivory narrowed her eyes but otherwise stayed silent. I didn’t think she wanted to turn down free clothes.

The woman took Ivory’s measurements and then mine, then she disappeared in the back room, promising to be back in a jiffy.

Strange. Were people in Benjamin always this…friendly?

Ivory and I sat down on a bench near the wooden mannequins. She pulled her feet up and wrapped her arms around them, looked out the window at Fiona.

“We have to find a place for Fiona to stay,” she mumbled.

“Wonder if that lady would let her inside. I mean, she let us filthy kids in here, right?” I joked.

Ivory snorted and rolled her eyes, “Probably not, Clover. Besides, Fiona wouldn’t like it in here. She’s claustrophobic.”

“How can a horse be claustrophobic?”

You try spending seven years locked up in a stable and not be claustrophobic.”

I blinked. “…I don’t know how to respond to that.”

Suddenly the woman appeared from the back room, holding two separate stacks of clothes for me and Ivory.

“Holy cow, that was fast,” I said.

“I said I’d be back in a jiffy,” the woman laughed, “Besides, they don’t call me Lightening Gertrude for nothing.”

Lightening Gertrude led Ivory and me to two different dressing rooms and gave us our clothes to change into. I examined the garments once I was inside my dressing room. The clothes were seriously nice. The fabric was soft, yet durable, and very luxurious. But I was afraid that I would look goofy in the clothes, because the vest was pale yellow with a ruffly white undershirt – kinda girly if you ask me – and the trousers had a black and white checkered pattern, and I didn’t want to look like a chess board. But I put them on anyways because they were clean and supposedly fashionable.

Surprisingly, the clothes looked nice on me when I looked in the full length mirror. Even the girly shirt. I’d never seen myself look so refined…handsome, even. Weird, I wasn’t used to seeing myself that way. But my blond hair was still messy. I tried to smooth through it with my hands, and managed to get it to stay down, at least.

Munchie crawled out of the pile of old clothes near the mirror. I took him in my hands and put him on my shoulder, where he started sniffing me – looking for something to nibble on, probably. I turned and looked back at my reflection, uncertain.

“What do you think, Munchie?”

Munchie stopped sniffing me and turned his head to the mirror. His little black eyes were still, yet full of observation as he took me in from head to toe. His furry white head tilted a little to the side, like he was confused, but then he quickly went back to sniffing me.

I shrugged and put on the shiny buckled shoes, then stepped out of the dressing room. Lightening Gertrude was working a rectangular wooden device that shredded fabric, by the looks of it. She was tearing apart Ivory’s old clothes by turning the lever. Scraps of cloth came out of the other end of the mechanism. That was a pretty strange thing to do. She could have just thrown the clothes away.

Once she was done fraying Ivory’s clothes, she turned around and looked at me. A smile of satisfaction spread across her wrinkled face as she admired her work.

“Perfect.”

Just as she spoke the word, Ivory stepped around the corner.

Yowza!

I wouldn’t have been surprised if my eyeballs fell out of their sockets and rolled onto the ground, followed by my jaw and tongue.

I’d always thought Ivory was pretty, but as I looked at her now, pretty suddenly became a very pathetic word. She was nothing short of breathtaking. The dress she wore came down just past her knees, and floated on her body in a mesmerizing way. The pure white fabric of the dress brightened up her golden skin and green eyes. Her hair was open and fell down her shoulders in wavy rivers of caramel.

I stood there like an idiot, probably with an idiotic expression on my face as well, unable to make a complete sentence come out of my mouth.

“…Ivory…I…er…um…wow,” I stammered.

She tried to fight back the smile that threatened to expose itself, but failed. “You like?”

“Yes,” was all I could manage.

She grinned, and then composed herself as she observed me from head to toe. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Er – thanks,” I sputtered. How was I supposed to measure up to the plate when she looked like that?

It was only a moment later when I finally recalled Lightening Gertrude’s presence. Unwillingly, I tore my eyes off Ivory and turned my attention to her.

“Thank you so much,” I said. “These are spectacular.”

“Believe me, it was my pleasure. I can’t stand it when I see people walking around, looking like hobos,” she grimaced.

I laughed, even though she’d just insulted us. But, technically, we were hobos at the moment.

“We can pay for these clothes,” Ivory snapped. Obviously she didn’t like being called a hobo.

I winced, these clothes seemed pretty expensive, and I didn’t know if the money Mamma Verena gave us was enough.

But Lightening Gertrude waved it off. “Pish-posh. I did this as an act of kindness.”

Ivory pursed her lips and reluctantly said, “Thank you.”

“I don’t know how we can ever repay you for this,” I said. “It would be easier if you just let us pay you in gold.”

“Tell you what, if I ever need a favor, you’ll be the first ones to know,” she promised.

“Sure,” I agreed. “Thanks again, Gertrude.”

“Call me Gertie.”

“Right, Gertie.”

Ivory and I started towards the door, but Gertie stopped us.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” she scurried back into the back room. There was shuffling, and then she appeared again with two coats in her arms.

“The gypsy that lives upstairs said it would rain tonight,” she explained, donning us each the coats. “I never really believed in that fortune crock, but it’s better to be prepared.”

“Wow, this is too much,” I said. “We just met you.”

“How else are you supposed to make friends?” she muttered, helping Ivory put her arms through sleeves of the blue coat.

“Oh, yeah!” I suddenly remembered the whole reason why we’d spoken to this strange woman to begin with. “Can you tell us where the nearest inn is?”

“Hmm,” she though for a moment, lines forming on her forehead. “I think there’s an inn at the end of this street. It’s next to a fancy restaurant called Il Meglio Di Manfredo. Trust me, you won’t miss it.”

I took her word for it because I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to remember that name. Ivory and I said our final thanks to the friendly stranger and stepped outside into the bitter cold of the night.

***

Thanks for reading! Please, please let me know what you think!
Last edited by Dreamworx95 on Sun Feb 22, 2009 11:30 pm, edited 3 times in total.




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Hey there!

I really liked this chapter! Especially the beginning, which had some great imagery there.
Question: Is giganto a real word? I enjoyed the use of it, just curious.

I also liked the desciption of Benjamin--the houses, the jesters, the metaphor with the jar. You sure gave it character!

Gertrude makes me smile :D I wonder why she was so eager to help? Or is that just her character?

Yowza! <--- Here's where I laughed out loud

All in all, a great chapter! I couldn't find anything to correct, and halfway through I forgot that I was supposed to be looking. (that's always a good sign, eh?)

See ya around!
--Anna
"Man needs music, literature, and painting--all those oases of perfection that make up art--to compensate for the rudeness and materialism of life." -Fernando Botero




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Heya Dreamworx! Thanks for the PM.

Great chapter! You described Benjamin wonderfully! I should take a page from your book and do that with my work :lol: . The one thing that I really noticed is how you described the houses with the jar. Excellent!

I loved the two guards! It always makes me laugh when I see (if I shall say see) two people bantering with each other. And what they were saying was even better. Keep up the good work!

So...

Description wise: Awesome! Perfect imagery. I couldn't find anything negative about this chapter.

Poor Clover. He's going to be drooling the whole time over Ivory. Or should that be poor Ivory? Hmm...And a claustrophobic horse! Ha! That's great! My horse was never raised in a barn and he hates being inside of one now (he's like 20).

Just as always, Clover, his friends and even the newly introduced characters made me laugh. Keep up the good work and I eagerly await the nect chapter.

Happy Writing and Good Luck

Meadow
Purple light in the canyon
that is where I long to be
With my three good companions
just my rifle, pony and me

--- "My Rifle My Pony and Me"




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Whyyyy am I never on time like a good reviewer~? *angsts* XD Anyway, here I am.

Anyway, whee~! Much as I loved the other character perspectives, it’s great to be back with Clover and Ivory. I really enjoyed their description of the town, and the guard’s random argument was great—I love when minor characters have moments of arguing and banter to themselves, it adds a huge element of humanity to them, making them stand out as more than just a part of the background.

Gertrude did seem a tiny bit random, but I’m sure you plan to give her more place in the plot later on.

It was really fun reading this… so much so that I honestly can’t think of anythinging to critique. Hope this wasn’t terribly unhelpful. XD

Also, I just wanted to say how much I loved these two lines, the first because it’s great description and the second because it’s hilarious:

It seemed to me as though someone had dumped a variety of buildings and houses into a jar, shook them up, scattered the contents across the terrain and called it a kingdom. Even the castle seemed to have been randomly thrown into the mix.


“What happened to you dears? You look absolutely awful!”
Ivory, looking very insulted, said, “I beg your par-”


So yes, excellent chapter, I can hardly wait to read more! ^_^
"The world is not beautiful, therefore, it is." --Kino's Journey

Hey, how about a free review?




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I kept my promise!

Although the "jiffy" part in my PM that other day was a little... extreme. :roll:

Anyway, I caught up, and now I'm on the wonderful chapter 12, which I must say, is very well done. I'm glad I didn't miss too much; I wouldn't be able to live myself!

But, before I comment on this, I must say that I'm so glad you recapped in chapter 11; I needed that.

Now on with the show!

You know, sometimes I think I really suck cause I have nothing bad to say about this story. I try to find one little flaw, somwhere... but I always come up short. If I haven't told you this before, I'm telling you now: You are one very, very, very talented writer, my friend.

And if I already did say that, well, I guess you're hearing (or reading it to be precise) again.

Like others have said, that opening paragraph to this chapter is amazing. And so was your description. I'm another fan of this clever metaphor here:

It seemed to me as though someone had dumped a variety of buildings and houses into a jar, shook them up, scattered the contents across the terrain and called it a kingdom. Even the castle seemed to have been randomly thrown into the mix.

Awesome if I do say so myself.

And the Yowza- totally Clover-esque.

Gertie is the sweetest thing... and judging by her comment where she mentions if she needs favor she'll tell them, means she'll be coming back, no?

And finally Ivory. Ivory, Ivory, Ivory. I really like her, if you haven't figured that out yet. I love her stubborness. I can imagine her face when she was offended.

And the description of her when she was dressed... very nice.

And, I'm going to stop there. As you can see, I could go on...

Naw, I'll just stop. :D




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God I can't believe it took me seventeen days, eight months, and thirty-two hours to review this. Sorry.

Anyway, this was better. I liked some of the wicked exciting descriptions, and I could tell you had employed the use of your slightly lazy imagination--;]

But let us get the cruel criticism over with... remember, you asked for it. (FUN FACT: I recently got a message from a mod telling me to stop being so mean! Darn funny--they also told me stop swearing. Dipsh*t.) While I thought you incorporated more necessary description, it's still a little dull. I feel like you aren't really SEEING it, you know? We want to know what it smelled like, felt like, hated like.

And then there's the characters. There is something endearingly ordinary about Clover, but to make his personality really get the best out of itself, you must have characters who offset his normalness. In other words, Ivy needs to be less predictable and cliche. If she is going to be the constant second best character, she needs to be more surprisingly original. And maybe a little less HOT. I'm a guy, by the way, and even I AM sick of everyone being hot. Give her hairy fingernails, or a mustache on the back of her neck! Something that makes her memorable. Because I've already forgotten her. Whoops.

Well. Besides all that, good. I thought you did a good job on that random part at the beginning with the funny drawbridge and such. That drawbridge PSYCHED ME OUT.

Let me know if you're looking for more reviews, and pray to the god of staples that Stapleton returns. I'm hoping.
"In case of fire, please generalize the interests of the people around you and leave behind the one's you do not wish to interact with ever again."

Get a [censored] imagination.



It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
— Voltaire