The Chasm

Three stood on a bridge,
a broken bridge to nowhere
looking into the chasm,
they know not where it leads.
the darkness underneath,
seems to stretch forever on.
But in those dreary shadows
a spark,
some glimmer of hope,
a faint light,
something beyond the darkness.

The first looked down,
he knew what came before,
but never what comes after.
Long he stared,
into the pit,
before he chose to move.
He held his breath,
and closed his eyes,
then jumped into the pit.

The second knew the same,
what the first who jumped
had known.
Long he stood and pondered
on what he thought was true.
The past was safe, secure,
but the future so unsure.
He knew he couldn't do it,
he couldnt make the leap.
So silently he walked away.

The third had watched them both,
as they went their separate ways,
they made their separate choices.
Knowing what they'd known,
and seeing what they'd seen,
he had nothing more,
adn nothing less,
with which to make his choice.
Long he stayed in indecision,
not wanting to go back,
but neither to go forth.

Not know which path was better,
nor knowing which to take,
he finally made his choice,
and sat down where he was.
He'd made his choice,
in not choosing.
He sat down on the edge
the path behind him long,
the dark below him deep.

Who knows which one was right?
Who knows what became of the first,
who boldly leapt ahead?
Or what became of the second,
who modestly went back?
Only of the thrid,
who calmly sat alone.
There he sat, on the edge,
and there he might still be.

This was an epic poem, God. Seriously. I actually deciphered the theme here, which I am very proud of. It's a very nice message you have here. Personally, I'd be either the second or third man. Moving aside from that, just one teensy complaint about this: Your capitalization. It really irks me when there doesn't seem to be a reason for not capitalizing the first letter of each line of a poem. I can see that you're treating them like sentences, not capitalizing until the end, but I still feel like you need to do it. However, it is your style.

Anyways, great job on this. Epic win with this one. I found no problems with the flow, the syntax was chosen well, beautiful. You should pat yourself on the back for this one.

Head spinning hah.

I liked the one after the other feel and the deep contemplation the characters gave off as each came up to the edge and so on, very well done.

As the last commenter stated, very epic poem, great language and visuals.

Cant wait for more!

hmm. this is actually head and shoulders above most of the poetry on this site, which isn't saying much. but regardless, it was a fairly good poem. i won't delve into matters which i have little interest in (grammar, punctuation, etc.) but i will say that i found the metaphor of the entire poem a bit too shallow, a bit too easily deciphered. and beyond that, you kind of beat the reader over the head with it as well. it was just too obvious, and you were trying too hard to express your "insights" to the poor reader. other than that, it was a solid, well-written poem. in your future poems, try to express your ideas with a bit more subtlety, and use a higher level of vocabulary. there's nothing more satisfying to a reader than "getting" a good poem. if you want an example of what i think is good poetry, then you should check out some of my more recent poems that i've posted here. but don't look back too far. there are some things here i'm not proud of.

Wow i really liked this, it was strange and made me think.
Here are my favourite parts...

Long he stood and pondered
on what he thought was true.
The past was safe, secure,
but the future so unsure.
He knew he couldn't do it,
he couldnt make the leap.
So silently he walked away.

Knowing what they'd known,
and seeing what they'd seen,

He'd made his choice,
in not choosing.
He sat down on the edge
the path behind him long,
the dark below him deep.

and there he might still be.