Moksha, Pt. 1

Moksha

spiraling staircases of infinite longevity
arc upwards, climbing to heaven
on razor-thin ropes ascending to God and you.
harlequin titles stare back at me, ashamed & unforgiving
yet still i climb the tenuous pathway.
and hope shines through the blinds on a sunday morning
and hope shines through the barrel of a colt .45
moksha moksha moksha
but no, it's this unbelievable light
that keeps us in motion together.
we are riding on the crest of this magnificent wave
thinking that our momentum will lead us
to inevitable & glorious victory.
someday we'll look back East
and see where the dream died
we are both such beautiful beasts
O Calliope!
lapis lazuli eyes like a blue flame glowing,
boring holes into the back of my skull
as i turn away from that pyrrhic victory.
and the moment before the world fell to pieces
we shouted out in ecstasy & orgasmic glee
and all the Scythian mad-women lifted their eyes to Heaven
smashing their skulls on the pavement below.
golden-skinned ladies with their purses full of jade
grab the hands of their lovers
with their scorched backsides and their childish mistakes.
muscles taut with seraphim angelic peace,
they dance around Solomon's circle
chanting their wretched & baseless chants.
beautiful tantric melodies drift in through the open window
fade into nothingness, then into black
whipped and crucified, temporal angst-driven madness
deep inside a sinister Turkish prison
waiting for the dreams to come
for the endless jet-black river called the Styx
to see through our transparent weakness
and the bright red neon fingers that clutch at
some mysterious unspeakable ****.
Sidere mens eadem mutato
O Parvati, my Parvati!
the light of life, mother of creation.
blessed are we who have seen your graceful dance,
blessed are we who have heard those harmonious chords
that echo through the tenement halls of a soulless, cooling world.
she comes rushing in, unexpected and as deadly serious as a storm
hammering the walls of some long-forgotten fortress.
this accompaniment is my only salvation.

Hey there Zalarus! I'm not sure if I've reviewed you before; but I'm June.

I found this piece, and I wasn't expecting much from it as I opened it. But! This exceeded my expectations, and this, dear, is brilliance.

The structure here is beautiful. I love the overhanging lines (I'm sort of a structure freak, haha). The only small thing I would suggest is capitalizing the pronoun I when you use it. I understand that this poem is uncapitalized, but, since God and East (and a few other words) are capitalized, it could work if you capitalize I. It's up to you . Just a small suggestion.


So! I hope I am correct, but, I believe that Moksha means the same thing as Mukti, meaning release or let go?

If so, I'm finding this closely related to Hindu meditation. I really like how you wrote this. It does seem to carry the feel of "letting go". In a strange way, it reminds me of protests begging for liberation.

I really love the imagery you're using here, especially the lapis lazuli metaphor. This poem has so much emotion in it-- it's so many things at once; self realization, interpretation, desire-- it's complete Also, this:

some mysterious unspeakable ****.

Sidere mens eadem mutato

You don't need to censor yourself in writing, dear, so as long as you rate this properly, it's perfectly okay to use whatever words suit.

Also! I'm dying to know what this line means. It's probably crucial to understanding the poem, but I have no idea what it means.


*

There really isn't anything to change here. It's perfectly worded, perfectly expressed and it doesn't lack in any area. It's completely satisfying . I haven't read anything like this in so long-- I'm definitely starring this.

Overall, there are few words that can describe this other than amazing.

Well done, dear. Well done. Keep it up. I look forward to seeing more of your poetry.

June

thanks for the review. you're right about the meaning of moksha. it does mean release/liberation, particularly in the spiritual sense. in hinduism, buddhism (which i occasionally subscribe to) and jainism, moksha is the release of the atman from the cycle of life, death, and reincarnation. it is the liberation of the atman, and the achievement of nirvana, although the meaning and method to achieving it can vary according to the religion. but anyway, about the poem...

this is going to sound so artistically pompous, but i actually intentionally de-capitalized the "i", for the reason of focusing less on the concept of the self. i thought that the self should be secondary to the overall spirit that accompanies this poem. i actually wrote my magnum opus, a letter to a special lady, right before righting this poem. i can say with certainty that a god-like creative essence or spirit possessed me during the writing of that letter, so i was coming off a very big writing high. this poem may be meant to accompany the letter, although they can be appreciated separately. but this is merely an after-effect, a fleeting representative of the enormous beauty of my letter. if anyone wants to read it, i'll redirect you to my website, where it is available for all to see. i consider it my best work. but regardless, i enjoyed writing this poem. i'd been thinking a lot about Hindu mythology and mysticism, and i really let it out in Moksha Pt. 1 and 2. i might post Pt. 2 later, but it's not really up to my standards. it was really a lot of references to ancient mythology and my own personal experiences, which makes it a pretty boring read for the average joe. but i just wrote another poem, which i have posted elsewhere, which some people might enjoy. anyway, thanks for the comment, and i hope this answers any questions anyone has about it.
see you around,
sam