Let Not My Eyes Wander

Let Not My Eyes Wander

Let me live under God
Let me be a favored son

Let Not My Eyes Wander

News's hands grasp my head firmly
Hold it to look straight ahead
Cutting out all peripheral vision

Let Not My Eyes Wander

Tragedy is just a distraction
Violence is not seen
Sex is encouraged

Let Not My Eyes Wander

The countries Cry!
They yell
"Americanize me"
And we answer

Let Not My Eyes Wander

Guns beget violence
Violence beget more violence
But I beg of you, just let me eat my breakfast

Let Not My Eyes Wander

The TV howls
The children die
The government makes me feel safe

Let Not My Eyes Wander

My eyes wander
I look left I look right
I feel betrayed

They shoot explanations
Like bullets at a crowd

Oh Please
Cut out my eyes
I want to be Blind

I will Listen, I will Accept
I will Listen, I will Accept
I will Listen, I will Accept

But once I am Blinded
Cut out my tongue
For it has no use

I will Never again
Let my eyes wander

Hello!

Man....this was good. Haven't read a good poem like this in ages.

You did a heck of a lot of things right by this. Firstly, the subject matter is spot on. It's just so obvious that these kinds of thoughts would come to you, so it adds to the validity and believability of the speaker's thoughts. Makes the reader feel comfortable in reading.

I enjoyed the ballad style of the poem- great repetition and great line repeated throughout. Really hammers the message home without walloping the reader over the head:

Let Not My Eyes Wander

The speaker's frustration at struggling with their disillusionment with their surrounds is really quite touching and well displayed- they want to follow the truth, the inner truth, but all around them is suffering and lies and media- all of it real in a sense, but also not real. Love this--

They shoot explanations

Like bullets at a crowd

Great. Stunning and effective imagery.

I would usually comment on the punctuation, but in this case I like the lack of it. Seems to add to the realness of the poem. Some people may pull you up for it, but in my case it did not take away from my enjoyment of reading.

Great line:

Oh Please

Cut out my eyes

I want to be Blind

All in all, great job, thanks I enjoyed reading.

And welcome to YWS!

Any questions just PM me.

Eimear

good good poem im not gonna go around explaining to you how i interpreted it, but just know that however i did, i liked what i saw. i like this bit especially:


Guns beget violence

Violence beget more violence

But I beg of you, just let me eat my breakfast


except that violence is singular so the next word would technically be "begets" more violence, unless of course you were saying a command or something, but im not sure thats the case. anyways, other than that i loved this poem. i also like this bit:


The countries Cry!

They yell

"Americanize me"

And we answer

so overall good good work i really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for that

It was good! You deserve a star man. I have nothing to correct you with. I haven't read a good poem about America in a long time. The only part I felt was a a little bit weired was the last part. But it was really good.

to me if i read something it must catch my mind off guard and take it on a journey i must say your poem did just that good job hope you still writing

Great poem! Wonderful symbolism! I love the points that you make...I often find myself having many of the same thoughts. You've ended it perfectly. This was masterfully written...gold star!

Thank you everyone for your reviews
It means a lot D

The poem is effectively brilliant, except that I think that how you twisted some of the lines, the meaning gets confusing. Some lines were better than others, but that's how most poetry is, I'm sure.

Overall it's impressive in detail, but I'd be careful how you write your lines anyway. It's just a precaution.

Thanks again to everyone who reviewed my poem
You guys are great