imperfect

so what?
i didn't know
you knew, but you didn't let me
know
i expected it, but in so i was unprepared
lost in my own world
of make-believe.
i try hard though
seriously i really try
i do my best to make you happy
proud even
but remember i'm not at all perfect
and you aren't either.

desmerize1819 wrote:so what?
i didn't know
you knew, but you didn't let me
know This is a little bit repetitive in here. I'm sure you could phrase it better.
i expected it, but in so i was unprepared I don't know what you're trying to say here, but there's a typo here, as marked by the italics.
lost in my own world
of make-believe. I like this image, but it is a bit cliche.
i try hard though Period here? In fact, the next few lines lack in punctuation.
seriously i really try
i do my best to make you happy
proud even
but remember i'm not at all perfect
and you aren't either. [This is my favorite line. When someone expects so much of you, this is always what you want to remind them.]

This poem is very generic. I don't know if that's what you wanted, but it's kind of vague. There's not really clear subject. But it's a good draft. A little love could bring this a long way.

Punctuation issues, which I've fixed here:

desmerize1819 wrote:So what?
I didn't know
You knew, but you didn't let me
know
I expected it, but in so I was unprepared,
lost in my own world
of make-believe.
I try hard though,
seriously I really try,
I do my best to make you happy
proud even
but remember I'm not at all perfect
and you aren't either.

I'm not sure what you mean in line 3 with "in so".
There isn't a rhythmic flow in the poem because the lines are all different lengths. Try making them all uniform.
"I try hard though,
seriously I really try," is a little repetitive.
The last 2 lines were a great ending.
Overall, it is a good poem, with a trite message. Try to put a new spin on somehow. Change the point of view maybe?
Don't get worried over my review, I'm just a perfectionist
You definitely have skill, so continue writing.
I would expand this poem and make it a little more rhythmic. It is a rather old message, so like I said before, try to put a new spin on it.
PM me if you want to talk about it...

fluteluvr77<3