Young Writers Society


Steps

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1075
Reviews 344
Tiny steps from midnight into dawn,
have made patterns in my mind,
a hundred million times.
I see them left behind, steaming in the morning as I go,
like a robber’s tracks in crunchy snow.

What’s it like to be…in love? I take a step,
how will I know when the time is right, another yet.
Should I take this route, balance, one footed-
will I ever be done talking to him? My feet are rooted.
And thus the surreal dance of my inner thoughts
plays itself out in sporadic stages.
I go around like a drunken clock,
and I haven’t slept properly in ages.

These tiring steps- tiny, in reality,
send me round the bend, drive me crazy!
Why is life so complex, so frequently,
does he too stay up late, thinking about me?

For this journey I am ill-prepared,
but I’ll keep making tiny steps into dawn.
Until my heart stops running,
and realises that it is no longer so young,
or so scared.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Oscar Wilde.




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1090
Reviews 30
Wow... This is amazing!! Hold on while I regain my composure.


...

Ok I’m good now. =) This poem hit me hard because it speaks so true, it’s almost simple in nature but it’s so insightful! The imagery is good, and you captured the speaker's "surreal dance” SO well! I feel dizzy just reading about her indecision, fear, and love! =D hahaha that wasn’t much of critic I know … I’m sorry. Please keep writing this is great!




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 1610
Reviews 47
That's really amazing
I love the part about love because it holds so true
Your imagery is brilliant
Keep writing!
NaNoWriMo, ftw.




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1534
Reviews 3
Excellent poem
It has really good imagery and I love line
"My feet are rooted"
Its well written and it seems like you put a lot of thought and time into it
I really like it and I would encourage you too keep on writing poetry

Good Job




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1857
Reviews 28
wow, awsome poem
as the others said, really good imagery
couldn't stop reading, even though someone was in my doorway yelling XD
anyways, gotta go (yelling getting louder)
brilliant job, keep writing
(sorry couldn't give ya something better, bit pressed for time.)
I have the memory of a goldfish,
The attention span of a squirrel,
But the mind of a WRITER... or a psychopath, one or the other.



One of the things I love about YWS is the quote generator. For example, I'm reading a really serious work, and then I see "Moo. - cow" at the bottom of the page.
— Darlet