Polkadotted Lion

So we had to have two lines have end rhyme and two words have alliteration. She also pulled some other freedoms from us (Like what each line has to be).

Polkadotted Lion
Curious and cunning
Breaking things then running
Simply shunning.

~~~
I'm not really expecting many replies to this, but if you have any suggestions, I'm really willing to take them. : )
Thanks

(Like what each line has to be).



Polkadotted Lion

Curious and cunning

Breaking things then running

Simply shunning.



~~~

I'm not really expecting many replies to this, but if you have any suggestions, I'm really willing to take them. : )

^_^ Hallo, let's work this out, shall we? It might be helpful if you posted exactly what other freedoms she took away, or what other requirements there are, like what each line has to be, so that the reviewers can know if their suggestions would fit into the boundaries.

First of all, 'shunning' seems awkward used as an adjective. Though 'stunning' fits as well, I don't know if that would go with the message of your poem {though it does seem a bit random}.

Why is the first line 'polkadotted lion'? Why polkadotted? Perhaps I can understand a rambunctious lion, but what specific reason do you have for choosing polkadotted.

What I think you need to work on most is finding out how to build consistency between the lines so it won't look like random phrases put together that are /slightly/ related. ^_^

Yeah. I guess telling you what the format is is a great way to start.

Creature name
Two characteristics of it (personality trait and personality trait2)
What it does around the house
your reaction to it.

The idea is a little like the Mr. Nobody poem (you can look it up in google I think). She had us make a creature that we blame things on and we have to make a poem about it. The format is above, and it does seem a little random. We can't have more than five lines either.

Oh, and we drew pictures of our creatures. And Polkadotted Lion is sorta what mine looked like,so that was its name. (I know, very original).
Sorry for missing that. It was sorta important.
~MV

Haha, the Mr. Nobody poem was quite entertaining actually. ^_^

^_^ Alrighty, so here are my suggestions as to what you can do with your requirements! ^_^ Hopefully there is no limit as to how long each line can be?

Creature name -- perhaps, rather than describing the physical appearance of the lion, give him an adjective as part of his title or even a real, uncommon name? Maybe use some alliteration in this line?
Two characteristics of it (personality trait and personality trait2) -- You might want to fit these two, as you did earlier, into the same line with some alliteration, but elaborate upon the line and upon the other lines to make the poem a little clearer. With just a few more words, I think the poem could be better.
What it does around the house
your reaction to it. -- Perhaps these last two lines can rhyme, and you might want to fit in the word 'I', to make it clear that whatever you put as the reaction is, in fact, your reaction.

Also, I would suggest trying to stay away from 'breaking things' as its actions around the house, because that was part of the problem in 'Mr. Nobody'. Try looking for a unique action you can incorporate.

Then again, who knows if this assignment is worth that much effort? It still might be fun to try to work it out a little better though! ^_^ Good luck~