Foundation: False

Foundation: False

One day came a change,
One day, something strange.

A little fact of life went wrong,
A little fact, but its grip was strong.

A certainty that I knew was true,
A certainty, the loss I still rue.

No longer did the world and I see eye to eye,
No longer, I still think it’s a tricky lie.

Please and thank-you reversed their laws,
Please and thank-you, my mighty flaws.

Every time I try to say them straight,
Every time, my mind is late.

All correct me in one voice,
All correct me, but this isn’t by choice!

My sanity I question now,
My sanity, but I lost it how?

Reality is an unstable mess,
Reality, consistent-less.

For certainty is an unstable floor,
For certainty, on which we base our very core.

Nothing is for granted on this planet earth,
Nothing; like the style in this poem.

^_^ I'm no expert with poetry, but here are my suggestions! ^_^

A little fact of life went wrong,

A little fact, but its grip was strong.

I'd suggest taking out the word 'but', because the juxtaposition is really apparent on its own, plus the 'but' kind of throws off the rhythm. ^_^

A certainty that I knew was true,

A certainty, the loss I still rue.

I think the rhythm is a bit off here and in the next stanza, though I don't know how to remedy these as well... perhaps an adjective for 'true' and reworking the second part? Then for the next couplet, there needs to be another syllable on the second line, but not before lie, or that kind of messes it up? I dunno. Hahaha.

Please and thank-you reversed their laws,

Please and thank-you, my mighty flaws.

I love this couplet, actually, a lot, because it's intriguing. It makes me wonder why the narrator considers politeness as flaws, and thankfully you go on to respond to these questions in the next few stanzas -- good work! However...

All correct me in one voice,

All correct me, but this isn’t by choice!

The rhythm here could be clearer, and I don't think you'll need the 'but' here either. ^_^ The next couplet of the poem, you'd do well to replace 'but' with a double dash as well.

Reality is an unstable mess,

Reality, consistent-less.

o_o; I don't know that 'consistent-less' is a word, but perhaps you could change the line and a rhyme like 'in -insert two syllable noun here- dressed' ?? Baha, just a suggestion. ^_^
The last two stanzas also need some work in rhythm and in meaning. I don't really like the last line that much because it basically trashes the whole poem we just spent our time reading and perhaps identifying with. In reality, it's a great subject and I think you should work on the poem some more to turn it into something great! ^_^

Hmm, I won't address the rest of the comments you made immediately because its late, I just wanted to address the last one. When I wrote this poem, I felt that the last line reinforced the oddity of this poem, and the concept that nothing is fixed. It was also supposed to be like, you reach the end, read it over once or twice to make sure you read it right, then laugh.

I guess I'm not sure what the theme of the poem is, except the oddity of reality.

Hmm, I won't address the rest of the comments you made immediately because its late, I just wanted to address the last one. When I wrote this poem, I felt that the last line reinforced the oddity of this poem, and the concept that nothing is fixed. It was also supposed to be like, you reach the end, read it over once or twice to make sure you read it right, then laugh.

I guess I'm not sure what the theme of the poem is, except the oddity of reality.

That does make sense, actually. I guess it does serve pretty well if the purpose was to shatter the rest that you'd built and bring reality back to its roots of 'oddity', as you put it. ^_^ Good work, though.

A little fact of life went wrong,

A little fact, but its grip was strong.

There were two stanzas that I thought killed the overall flow of the poem this one^ and this one:

Nothing is for granted on this planet earth,
Nothing; like the style in this poem.

I'd have to agree with the previous person, that the last line just didn't work for me. If u feel strong about it, then obviously keep it, but if you are kinda so-so about it then I would change it.

Other than that, this was a pretty good poem