Revisions

Very, very, very good for your first post. On a scale of one to ten I give you a nine, but keep in mind that this includes my condolences for this being a great piece. You keep this up and someday you might just make it to the big leagues. Remember, write, write,write, and then write more, but more importantly, EDIT, EDIT, EDDDIIITTT! I can't emphasize my point enough. There are hundreds of wonderful poets out there, but only a few a willing to go back and truly revise their work with the attitude they used to write it. Keep up the good work, revise, continue, good tidings of great joy, and all that. PM me, I would love to be friends and stay up to date with your work!