Note: I'm sorry if this is too sappy and love-filled for some people but this was on a whim and I spent all night writing it and I love it and it really made me cry. Plus it's the first short story or decent thing I've written in weeks, I believe. And, just to let others know, I'm writing another novel that I've already started and it takes place in the Victorian era and the main character's name is Felicity, so you get a taste of what's happening in the story and I hope you like it. And oh translations are in the spoiler. Thanks.
Parce que Je t'aime
By Angel of Death
The thick fog spread over the fields and the trees and the graves that nestled in the Earth. Straightening out my skirt, I continued down the hill towards a large white crucifix. It was surrounded by orchids and roses that shone through the mist like tiny red rubies. Up close, I could see the name engraved in it. The letters were as cold as the day and they reminded me of what had passed. A solitary raindrop poured from my eye and trickled down my cheek. It felt like a finger was trailing my face but as the tears continued to come, I knew no one was here to relieve me from my anguish.
Felicity. The wind blew through my hair, making it sway to and fro. My name was sweet on God's lips, for the air kept whispering it. Felicity. Felicity. Felicity. Turning my head round in both directions, I squinted my eyes to try to find the harlequin who was veiled from my vision, but I could see no one, and not a soul dared to pursue me as I entered the cemetery. Feeling as though it was only my mind playing with my emotions, I continued in my reason for visiting the grave on this very day, the 28th of September. It was on this cold, rainy day that someone dear to my heart had slipped into the realm of eternity. He was a timid and singular sort but he was the only man who could comfort me. His smile was soft and contained a certain virginity each time he lent it to me. The manner that he was bestowed with was celestial, nearing Godliness. He was also a sweet, mild-tempered man who could never judge you.
I had came here to talk to him, though four summers had passed between the first visit I had with him. I remember that day gravely, for it is like a sword over my head. A veil of gossamer before my eyes and a dress of ebony silk was what I had wore to such a dismal event. There were several other sorrowed souls but none had been bound to this man that lay six feet under this deadly cold earth. They cried the way God does when an Angel falls, but through my agony I did not weep. Mournful was my soul but angered was my heart. I cursed the man who had taken my love from me, and yet he still lived and breathed.
He still felt all the sinful pleasures that mankind could indulge upon. And even though time has charred our relationship, I could still remember his appearance as if he stood before me. His head was graced in great marigold curls that framed his face with a golden splendor. His eyes, though large and dark, were as bright as the night star. They'd twinkle when a revelation came to him or when he read a Scripture from his bible. He never expressed his love for me but I had valued him as a friend. Life was not the same, I had wanted him to take me as his wife but I was too afraid to express my feelings towards him.
"Oh, how I miss you so!" I cried inwardly.
At that moment, the wind began to howl again and this time it sounds as if it were humming. As if a quartet of violinists and a pianist were orchestrating a melodic symphony. I could feel something take my hand and then my legs were erect under my body and soon I was walking. Some, if in my situation, would have fought the force that had moved them but I remained calm. There was no use in giving my heart a scare amongst the dead, for they deserved to rest in peace. Figuring that it was only my hidden curiosity and thirst for adventure pulling me forward, I let myself be guided.
The land I was walking across was new to my feet. Instead of the moist rich earth I was accustomed to, the ground was hard and had many cracks. Looking down, I could see I was being led across a cobblestone path. A pale sunlight sheathed the path in yellow, washing away the fog. Soon I could see a blue sky and clouds that soared like birds. Butterflies, with wings like blooming orchids kissed every flower and rodents of every variety scurried across the land, pouncing on the small insects in their reach. Now that the murky veil was lifted from my eyes, I could see a house nestled in the distance. It was a small residence made out of brick and the door was ajar. In the doorway, a woman stood with something bundled in her arms. It was a baby, with a round face and short brown ringlets. She was a tall woman with rosy cheeks and dainty red lips. Her blond hair was plaited into a long braid and fashioned into a bun atop her head. She was dressed in regular fashion, an apron over her blue dress. I knew the woman all too well, for she was me and the smile on her lips showed that she was happy.
Happiness? I had not known such an indulgence in years, and yet in another life I had embraced it with open arms. The child was a precious little thing and I had always expressed my want of one but here I was of five and twenty years without a family. I advanced towards the apparition, hoping to covet it but the wind pushed me another direction before I could take a step.
In the next vignette, I saw someone rocking away in a chair. She was a solitary woman with features that looked to have once been beautiful but had long since been eaten by the mouths of time and misfortune. Her pale hair was straight and coarse and her eyes were a sullen gray. A smile was absent from her face and tears stained her cheeks. The establishment that stood behind her was not as amiable as the previous one. It looked old and aged, for holes dusted the tops and vines ensnared the black stone with angered fingers.
A small hand rose out from under her coat and grasped a necklace that was around her neck. It wasn't anything close to jewels but it held its own significance. The silver glittered in the ashen light. I stared at it hard, knowing it as if it were my own. It was a crucifix that hung on a chain and it looked like the one that graced my neck at this very moment. My heart stopped and a breath left my lips. The woman there with the poverty-stricken face and the sorrow-filled eyes was me. Closing my eyes, I tried hard to wake up from this dream, this nightmare. I pinched myself and each time I felt pain. When I opened my eyes once more, I was still here in this place, watching the woman weep.
"Please, whatever force be with me now, save me." I cried, looking round me. The fog had enclosed me once again and then the visions were gone and I was once again walking on earth, but this time it was lush lively grass and the atmosphere was warm. There were no flowers or birds or houses, it was just me and the forever gray sky.
"Felicity." a voice said, making my heart jump. It was a deep, gentle sound that was somewhat familiar. Standing before me was a man, with a black cape round his neck and a form clothed in black trousers and a white tuxedo shirt. On his feet he wore black square-toed boots and a shiny top-hat was on his head, covering the fair locks that fell around his face. As I assessed his dark eyes and thin lips, I couldn't believe my eyes. It was Harland, but it did not make much sense that he was there. He was dead and had been so for four years. There was someone trying to harm me. Someone was trying to make me pay for all the wrongs I have committed, but who would want to plague me so?
"Why do you look as though you've seen a ghost, my dear? Come hither, so that I can see you better." His lips pulled up into a smile that was confident and warm. The words in which he spoke were dark and thick, like molasseses. I nodded and slowly advanced towards him. Once I was in touching distance of Harland, I watched as his hand made contact with my face.
"You have not aged. Those sky-colored eyes are still that angelic cerulean I've always known. But today they are filled with dismay and fear runs your heart, I can hear it fluttering like a bird. Oh yes and those cheeks! They're so filled with light and you are still the little sun child I remember you to be. Come back here, why do you move away?"
A part of me wanted to stay and marvel at this, oh there were no words to describe it. He was real, I could feel his hand upon my skin and though it stung he was alive and not dead like I had thought he was. But it was too good to be true. The devil was surely jesting with me, for this was not the Harland I knew and loved. He would never touch me without my consent and those words that flowed from his mouth wouldn't be so free and colloquial. This was a demon, come forth to torment me. Hitching up my skirt, I turned round and started down the hill as fast as I could. The wind was blowing at me, trying to stop me from getting away but I persevered, my heart in my throat.
"Felicity! Come back!" he called, but I did not answer nor did my speed wane. Then something under me lifted me up and I was flying, soaring into the air and I landed on my face. Struggling to upright myself, I didn't notice the hand extended towards me until it was too late.
"Take my hand, I won't bite." Harland said, softly. When a moment of silence passed between us, and I still remained unsure of what to do, he took my hand and gently pulled me up. I stumbled backwards but his arms were around my waist, steadying me. We were so close to each other, I could smell the cologne emitting from his skin. His eyes peered into mine, as if they were searching for something. I looked away, which made a grunt resonate deep in his throat.
"You act as if we do not know each other." he said.
"You're not alive."
"How can you tell?"
"I was there at your funeral, you fool!" Anger surged through my veins and then unwillingly tears flowed through my eyes. He started to pull me closer, so that I could nestle my head in his chest but I struggled to get free. Seeing that his grasp on me was not weak, I gave in and let my arms fall to my sides.
"Felicity, I've missed you as well."
"Why do you come here? Why do not you rest in your grave?" I asked, sniffling.
He sighed, and then he loosened his hold on me. I did not know why he did so because for all he knew, I could run away again but I didn't. I deserved an answer after all these years.
"It is a long story, and it is one that I have not the strength to tell."
"Please, answer me!"
"There are things that I can't tell you, is all. In short, I'm here to save you."
I looked at him, wondering at his words and their meaning. He was here to save me? From what was I in danger of? There was no one out to murder me and I was in good health. But then there were those visions. They were strange at yet they seemed so real.
"I suppose you have seen your future and the one that could have been yours?" he asked, his voice shrouded in darkness.
"Yes I have, but which one is my future?"
Harland did not answer me. Instead, he folded his arms round his back and walked around me. He was several paces down the hill when I turned round and motioned for me to follow. We walked for a while in silence. I admired the serenity of the land while I could feel his eyes on me. My cheeks flushed and I heard his lips pull up and then the smile faded, and in my peripheral vision I could see a grave mask on his face.
"Your future is not the one that you want, and it is not the one that I can give you."
"I do not understand."
"When I died, your whole life changed. It was altered in a way that is hard to fathom. God had plans for you..."
"Was it God that sent you here?"
"No and yes."
"Please, Harland, make me fathom your words."
"When a man dies and he has certain weights on his heart, he can not rest. It is impossible. So we roam the earth, as ghost, weighting for a chance to clear our conscience. I've been thinking of you and the more I thought about your smile and your eyes, the more I've become selfish. God only throws trials that we can bear upon us and everyday he provided me with glimpses of your future because of the lives and the choices you've made. Felicity, you and I both know that you are a sinner, but your heart is true now and if you repent, the light will set you free of all the dark chains that bound your soul."
I took in his words, now fully understanding. What I have done in the past, has come back from the grave that I thought I had buried in to haunt me. Harland was a man of God before he died and I was just the epitome of evil though I did not want to be. The curse that was bestowed upon me, was one I could not rid myself of no matter what I did. There was a bench made of oak hidden under a tree, we sat on it and I let my hands be taken into his.
"I had begged Providence to let me come back to help you free yourself. He allowed me, if only I, in return gave up my chances of ever walking the earth again. You must..."
"No, you must go back to your grave and forget about me. Eternity should not and will not be your destiny. Please, for me, turn your back on me and forget that I exist."
"I can not, Felicity."
"Why can not you?"
"You must change your habits and repent. Go to service daily or join a convent. Pray for every sin you've committed and you will live the first apparition that I had shown to you. You'll have a home and a child that will grow to be a healthy young man and you'll be blessed with many years and free-spirited grandchildren."
"And who shall be the father? Tell me, my dear Harland. Who shall I be promised to? I only want you and not anyone else."
He did not answer me. Instead, he snatched his hands away from me and turned away. In the light, I could see a tear fall from his eye and run down his cheek. Then, he stood up and started to walk away. I did not know if he wanted me to follow him, for he did not turn around and look back at me.
"Please don't leave me! I have missed you so." I cried, and this time he did turn around but his face did not display sorrow or happiness. His eyes grew darker until they mirrored burning coal. The smooth eyebrows that he had grew thick and furrowing. Storming towards me, his cape billowing behind him, he looked venomous.
"I must go! You can not want any more from me after I have risked it all to come here and save you. Felicity, you silly bird, I have expressed my love for you and I can not have you so who is it that suffers the most? It is I, for it is me who shall live an eternity without feeling the warmth of your skin against my cheek and the smile on your lips that had not be there for so long. You will forget me and I shall no longer come to you. As you have said, I should be in my grave and that is where I shall be. Now go back to where you've come and live the life that I have told you to." he barked, his eyes red from the tears. Harland started to walk away but I fell to my knees and grabbed a hold of his leg. I thought he would violently shake me off but instead he turned around and met my gaze.
"Why do talk to me in such ways?" I asked, sniffling.
"Because I know you can bear it. Now let go of me," he replied, firmly.
"No, you are wrong. I can not bear this, I am weak like baby bird just learning to fly. I am on the precipice of the nest but I am frightened to take a leap. Harland, stay with me and help me longer, please."
"No!" And then he pulled away and continued off into the distance. I would have followed him but my heart was too heavy to move and the tears that raining down made it impossible to see.
"Why did you come, only to leave me again? You are treating me horribly and you do not care. You torment me because...because..." But I could not finish my sentence. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my hands.
"Parce que Je t'aime." he whispered into my ear. I looked up but he was not there and the field that I was in, was gone. Instead, I was in my bed and the day was slipping in past the curtain. I did not know whether that it was a dream that I had had or if it was real, but I knew that I had to change, starting now.
[spoiler]Parce que Je t'aime = Because I love you.[/spoiler]
and other moments are just generally beautiful. I loved it, one of those plots that has a surface meaning, and then a deeper meaning. I adore those 