Delightful Sinner (Death Metal)

Delightful Sinner

(Screaming and roaring)
Your time is up!
But your sins couldn’t stop
Isn’t this amusing?
Hell! Is now your place
Even God doesn’t want to see your face!
You couldn’t resist stealing!
You couldn’t resist killing!
Now you’re going really deep
Your soul is what Satan will keep

No one even wants to dig your grave!
Maybe youre dwelling dead body can do it?
(Laugh)
Looks like you are only now feeling shamed
But it seems like when you were still alive you liked to kill!
Hell! Is now your place
Embrace!
Get out of my face!
Maybe you should think twice in case!

(Calmly and lightly)

If all our sins would wash away
Then goodness wouldn’t stay
That’s why life is a lesson
So that after life we wouldn’t burn in depression

(Everyone:)
Delightful sinner!
Delightful sinner!
Delightful sinner!
(Drum solo)
Delightful sinner!
Delightful sinner!
Delightful sinner!

(Screaming and roaring)

Your goodness has so many cracks!
Impossible to rebuild!
You destiny is already fulfilled!
Looks like you are not coming back!
(Drum solo)
When I heard you murdered a girl
I felt nothing new
I expected it to happen again
(Drum solo)
Don’t go on your knees again
I don’t give! If you will scream in pain in the chains
Remember when she begged you didn’t give a damn you sliced her veins!
(Drum solo)
Hell! Is now your place
Embrace!
Get out of my face!
Maybe you should think twice in case!

(Calmly and lightly)


If all our sins would wash away
Then goodness wouldn’t stay
That’s why life is a lesson
So that after life we wouldn’t burn in depression

(Guitar solo)
(Everyone)
Delightful sinner!
Delightful sinner!
Delightful sinner!
(Drum solo)
Delightful sinner!
Delightful sinner!
Delightful sinner!
(Guitar solo ends)
(Drum solo)

(Screaming and roaring)

Don’t say that you will change to death!
(Delightful sinner!)
This is the stupidity of humans!
(Delightful sinner!)
You first do it, then you think!
(Drum solo)

Hell! Is now your place
(Delightful sinner!)
Embrace!
(Delightful sinner!)
Get out of my face!
(Delightful sinner!)
Maybe you should think twice in case!

(Calmly and lightly)


If all our sins would wash away
Then goodness wouldn’t stay
That’s why life is a lesson
So that after life we wouldn’t burn in depression

If all our sins would wash away
Then goodness wouldn’t stay
That’s why life is a lesson
So that after life we wouldn’t burn in depression

It's hard to critique lyrics without the music, but here goes:

Isn’t this amusing?

Since it's a question, this line seems to break from the screaming tone.

Looks like even the money won’t take the devil
It will burn with you in Hell until it will all turn into pebble

This is a pretty blatant forced rhyme. Maybe say "it will burn with you in Hell until it is all pebbles"

Embrace!
Get out of my face!
Maybe you should think twice in case!

This chorus was definitely my favorite part of this-- it's got a lot of energy and I can really imagine someone screaming this. It doesn't make much sense though-- embrace what? It doesn't seem like a very huggy song. And the last line doesn't make sense either, I'd suggest - "maybe you should not be such a disgrace" because "maybe you should think twice in case" just sounds really awkward.

So that after life we wouldn’t burn in depression

You don't really burn in depression, it's much more passive than that. Simmer maybe, burn, no. Or sulk, or something less active like that.

Instead when you killed people with the gun that you were playing!
(Delightful sinner!)
You should have stayed home and have been praying

Gah! Forced rhymes again! And how do you 'play' a gun? And there's a tense conflict in the second sentence.

The biggest issue I had with this was the way you really forced the rhyme scheme into it. You really don't need to rhyme poetry (unless you're Dr. Seuss), you just have to get the rhythm right, and I feel like the rhythm was really off in some places because you were working so hard trying to get it to rhyme. But usually with songs (especially metal or hard rock) the lyrics don't really matter that much. Take Nirvana, for instance:

A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea

It's an amazing song, but the lyrics make virtually no sense at all. But as you can see, it does have flow -- three of the lines are each four syllables long. When you get into a songwriting mood, just write what comes to your mind, don't pay attention to whether or not it makes sense... and ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY don't worry about rhyming. Unless it works. What's important is that it works, and it flows right out of the singer's mouth. I hope this review was of some use to you. See you around YWS!

I must admit, I didn't read the entire thing...but it honestly rhymes too much... Not to mention some of the rhymes sounded corny, and not all of the lyrics made sense. Evil, huh? To me, it seemed kind of cheesy, almost. Overdoing something that would possibly have had a strong, lasting impact can make it into the opposite... As in, you went over the top, and the words show that fact. Try re-writing it...? I like the idea enough, but the tone and word choice don't do what they could to convey the message. PS: Delightful makes it sound happy. Delightful isn't associated with Hell, at least to my knowledge.
Keep writing!
--Voxina

I changed it.