BEFORE THE CRACKED MIRROR
THREE SISTERS SO UNLIKE EACH OTHER TRY TO FIND THEIR WAY AFTER A FAMILY TRAGEDY MEANING THEY HAVE TO GO TO WORK. MARY, THE ELDEST, IS SAINTLY AND PURE, ALISON IS THE MIDDLE CHILD, DIFFICULT TO TAME AND THE REBEL OF THE FAMILY. PENNY, THE YOUNGEST IS SWEET AND INNOCENT, BUT HOW WILL THINGS CHANGE ONCE THEY EACH CHOOSE THEIR PATH IN LIFE?
PLEASE CRITIQUE!
This has no chapters, I know, because it is only a draft and I am still deciding whether or not to persevere with it. That is why i need your help, your reviews, your critiques. You are the judges.
ALISON:
For as long as I could remember, it had just been Papa and my sisters, Mary and Penelope (fondly known as Penny) in our small yet popular shop. Papa was a shrewd businessman, and our shop was very successful. It was the best bookshop in Scotland, or so Papa boasted. I didn’t think much of it then, I was too young to understand. Mama, dear Mama had died during Penny’s birth, and naturally Papa ignored her. Mary was his favourite. She was perfect in his eyes, and nothing that she ever did was wrong. She was the one Papa left in charge of the shop when he couldn’t be there, and it only took a glance at her perfectly defined oval face and curly chocolate-brown hair to understand why. She was the most beautiful out of us three. I didn’t think much of my own appearance, my eyes weren’t sparkling like Mary’s, and my hair wasn’t as curly as hers, but both Penny and I vied for Papa’s attention, and were seldom successful.
We were forbidden to talk about Mama in front of Papa because it made him sad, and we needed Papa to be happy for us to survive, and for Penny’s sake.
Penny had always been weak because she was born early, and like Mary, she was obedient and sweet. I was the black sheep, the rebel of the family. I found it difficult to get along with Papa, when we saw him, and spent most of my time keeping myself separate from my sisters. Penny didn’t seem to care very much but Mary was insistent that I try to include myself in the family, even though she knew that my father and I didn’t have the best relationship.
One particular evening when Penny and I had just finished our chores and Mary had just closed the shop, Papa burst through the door blind-drunk and slumped in his favourite armchair. Naturally Mary rushed to his side, clutching at his hand as though he were dead.
“Papa, please talk to me,” She pleaded, “there, there, I am here for you. So are Alison and Penny.”
“Mary…” Papa sighed, “something terrible has happened…”
I sniffed. I knew exactly what Papa had done, and now he was trying to act as though he was innocent.
“What happened Papa?” Mary questioned.
“I put our money into a so-called good investment, which has just…well…gone.”
“PAPA!” I screamed out angrily, and at this he sat up, his eyes blazing, “How dare you tell us such lies! You put the money onto the three o’ clock race, and you have lost it all!”
Papa who was usually good-tempered now seized me by the shoulders and shook me fiercely.
“You dare to oppose me, girl?” He demanded, “I’ll teach you a lesson you won’t forget!” To my horror he began to unbuckle his belt and just as I thought he would strike me, Mary jumped in front of me.
“Papa, please, no violence. You must rest tonight. This can be dealt with in the morning,” She told him in her soothing voice.
As I suspected, Papa rebuckled his belt and fell back into his armchair, where he instantly fell asleep.
Mary ushered Penny and I to our room and once we were in she closed the door behind her and sat down on the end of my bed.
“Alison, why did you have to say that to Papa? You don’t even know if it is the truth.” She snapped.
“Papa gambled our money on the three o clock at Kidminster and lost. We may as well admit it. There is no chance we can stay here.” I explained calmly, but inside I was seething. I couldn’t believe that Mary could be so gullible as to believe every word Papa said.
“Papa means well,” Sighed Mary, “look what he has done for us. We have a nice home, clothes, food on the table. Who do you think puts it there?”
“Us,” I told her, “we put it there. We run the bookshop, not Papa. Mary, are you so dumb that you cannot see through Papa? He is an idle, lazy, good-for-nothing…who sits around all day and lets us do the work.”
“That’s not true and you know it, Alison. Papa does his best.”
“Oh, Mary you are exasperating. You’re blinded by him, tricked and brainwashed. Well, let me tell you, I will leave tonight and never come back because I do not want to see this place fall apart.”
“And you think running away will solve that? When everyday you will think and wonder about us and how we are? Stay, dearest Alison, stay a part of the family. If you leave, our family crumbles.”
“Mary, why can’t you, Penny and I run away? We could take the money from the till and find a house to live in. I could work, I know how. You could look after Penny.”
“NO!” Exclaimed Mary, standing up, “how can you be so selfish? We are not running away. Papa needs us.”
“Like hell he does,” I retorted, “Mary, this is my dream. I want to be free of this place. I want to make my own way, with or without you two. Please, let’s agree to save for the dream.”
“I can’t do that, Alison, and don’t you dare try to force Penny into it. We have to move if papa has lost his money, and it will be hard work from now on, so don’t talk to me about fantasies, Alison, for now we have to grow up, all of us.”
In ten minutes Mary aged ten years. She now felt solely responsible for us, and my truths seemed to have struck her in the way I wanted them to. She realised that Papa was in deep trouble, and he was planning to bring us down with him. I never wanted to let that happen, so Mary and I agreed that night that we would save enough money to support ourselves and then run away with Penny.
The very next morning, after Papa had finished emptying the entire contents of his stomach, he sat down and told us.
“Girls, I have some bad news,” He wiped his sweaty brow with the back of his hand before clutching at Mary’s hand. “We have to move. I lost our money, we cannot go on living here. You three will need to get jobs. I am not going to be a bookseller any more. I have arranged with a friend of mine to live in his pub, The Three Feathers in Luxleigh, Sussex. Obviously, with things the way they are, I can’t afford to take you with me. So today, my daughters, you are going to find jobs and send your pay to me.”
“No, Papa,” I blurted out before I could stop myself, “I will not send my pay to you. I can hardly trust you after you gambled our hard-earned money on the races! You think any of us would send our pay to you after that?”
Papa threw his hand across my face and I was sent reeling to the floor. I could hear Mary begging him to stop, and Penny whining, but I didn’t care. When he had finished, Mary picked me up and helped me into my room, which I shared with Penny. (Mary had a bedroom all to herself) I sat down on my bed and wept into the pillow.
“Alison, you really must learn to control your temper,” Scolded my older sister in her motherly way, “you can’t expect love from Papa if you insult him like that.”
“I did not insult him!” I sobbed, “Papa should have known better than to ask us to send him our hard-earned money, when we get jobs.”
“Well, there’s only one job we can do, and it will be very difficult for you to obtain if you do not learn to be calm and level-headed. Girls who lose their tempers regularly do not get jobs.”
“Where can we get jobs anyway?” I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“There’s Willow Hall and Windy Hills if you want grand houses, or there’s the Doctor’s cottage for an assistant position.”
“I suppose I could try for the grand houses,” I agreed, “what do I have to do?”
“You must be spotlessly clean and polite. Whatever you do, dear sister, don’t lose your temper.”
So that is what happened. The very next day I went out looking for a job. We had no agency in Cobingdon Kilbury, and it proved rather difficult to find a job because of this. I was told by the greengrocer that when people needed assistants and suchlike, they advertised in the village newspaper and in their windows.
My first stop was the Doctor’s cottage. Papa preferred to keep his distance from the other villagers, and seemed to have a grudge against the Doctor since Mama’s death. The Doctor answered the door promptly and smiled.
“Hello Miss Parker,” He began, “what can I do for you?”
“I’m looking for a job,” I explained in my most polite voice.
“Ah, I see, Miss Parker. How are your sisters?” I noticed that he didn’t ask after Papa.
“They are quite well, thank you. Doctor Mackenzie, I must tell you, we are in a little financial trouble.”
“I understand, Miss Parker. I know that your father gambled everything on the three-o clock race. However, who am I to pass judgement.”
“How do you know Papa gambled everything?”
“Everyone in the village knows. He came to The Bakers Arms last night and drank several tankards of bitter, screaming that he had disgraced himself.”
“Yes, that does sound like Papa.” I grumbled. “Dr Mackenzie, do you know of any jobs?”
“Yes I do actually, Miss Parker. Lord Trunston told me of several vacancies at Willow Hall when I visited him there the other day.”
“Oh, that would do fine. Thank you, Doctor.”
“Not at all. I wish I could help but I have just employed Emma Martin, the blacksmith’s daughter as my assistant.”
“Well, thank you anyway, Doctor.”
I left the cottage and went straight up the hill to Willow Hall, by far the grandest place in Kilnbridge. It was a huge 16th century building, with tall leaded windows and a large front porch bearing the family crest above the oak doors. Feeling a little hesitant at ringing the bell, I tapped the doorknocker.
“Can I help you?” Asked a hollow-faced woman, opening the door.
“I would like to speak with Lord or Lady Trunston, if you please.”
“And who should I say is calling?” She snapped.
“Alison Parker of Badgers Bookshop, in the village.”
“I see. One moment, girl.”
She slammed the door in my face. I supposed that she must have gone to see her master and mistress, and my guess proved correct when she returned.
“Mistress will see you. But she said to warn you that she is very busy and has no time for slovenliness.”
“Thank you…”
“Just come in, girl.”
I was led into the house and upstairs to the mistress’ parlour. The maid opened the door for me and Lady Trunston beckoned me forward.
“Miss Parker, Ma’am.” The maid explained before leaving.
“Yes, Monica. That will be all.” She turned to me. “Don’t just stand there, girl, come here.”
I obeyed her command and walked over to the chair where she sat.
“Hmm, I suppose you’ll do. I hope you understand the duties you will have to perform. My daughters Eleanora and Maria will require your assistance first thing in the morning, you must prepare their breakfasts, darn any holes in their clothes, help them with their French lessons, send them down to me after you have dressed them, I will teach them etiquette. I cannot have a lazy idle servant, such as the last we had, I need someone who will uphold the Trunston family name and in return will be treated as a member of the family.” She paused, her cold blue eyes surveying me. I will give you a trial of a month, and we shall see how you adapt to the routine. If you are accepted, you will be paid seven pounds a year, if you are not, I shall expect you to leave immediately without comment and with dignity. That is what we expect of our servants. Do you think you could manage, that, Miss Parker?”
I nodded quickly.
“Speak, girl, unless you are dumb.” Snapped Lady Trunston haughtily.
“Yes, Lady Trunston.”
“Yes, Ma’am, or Your Ladyship, if you please, Miss Parker.”
“Thank you, Your Ladyship. You will not regret your decision.”
“I hope not, Miss Parker, else Lord Trunston and I will terminate your employment here and send you away without a reference. Do I make myself clear?”
“Supremely.” I replied. “When do you wish me to begin?”
“This evening you shall come to the house with your belongings and I will arrange for the other servants to meet you. Six o clock, sharp.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Off you go, now, Miss Parker.”
“Thank you.”
I left the house, relieved and proud that I had obtained a job, yet anxious of what Papa might say. As I entered the shop, I noticed that it was strangely quiet. I climbed the stairs to the ‘parlour’ and to my horror, I found Penny face down on the floor, whimpering.
“Penny! Dearest!” I cried. It was not the way I usually behaved toward my small sister, but since I seemed to be the only one in the house, I felt she was my responsibility. I crouched down beside her and stroked her head.
“Penny, please wake up.”
A dull murmur answered me, and Penny rolled over. A large purple bruise blazed on her right temple, and her cheek was slashed with a thin cut.
“Dearest. What happened?” I asked, slowly lifting her head onto my lap.
“Papa,” She murmured, and sighed, “he hit me.”
“Why did he do that, Penny?”
“He was angry because you and Mary had gone out to find jobs.”
“To pay for him to board in Luxleigh!” I sneered.
“Yes, that’s what he said. He said from now on, you can take care of each other. I am done here. He has gone, Alison.”
“Papa? But, he can’t. What’ll happen to you?”
Penny burst into tears and soaked a patch of my apron.
“We must get something on that bruise, Penny. Don’t you worry. I’ll take care of everything.”
I went to the sink and retrieved a cold sponge from the cupboard, before pressing it against Penny’s bruised head, and preparing to make tea.
To my annoyance, I could find nothing edible in the larder, nor in any of the cupboards. It seemed obvious to me that Papa had only bought food when he thought we needed it. This presented us with a problem. How could we all survive on my measly wage? I was sure Mary had found a job but when she returned later that afternoon, her face was drawn and she looked flustered.
Penny and I were sat anxiously at the table, waiting for her return, when she burst into the room and flung herself down onto Papa’s chair.
“Mary! Whatever’s the matter?” I asked, worriedly. “Could you not find a job?”
“Oh yes, I did.” Mary spluttered, through choked sobs, “why else would I look like this?” Then I noticed. Her Sunday dress ripped beyond repair, her bonnet torn and lopsided, her best black boots covered in mud and grime, and a dark red stain on the bottom of her apron.
“What happened, Mary?” I continued, in the same tone I had used to comfort Penny.
Mary looked at me with contempt, then threw herself down at my feet. It was most unusual to see her like this, and it frightened me. As her bonnet slid off her head, I saw part of her distress. Her long curls were gone, very roughly sheared off at the ends.
“Mary, I’m so sorry.”
“You stupid, stupid girl!” She snapped, and before I knew what had happened she threw a backhand slap across my face and sent me to the floor. As I turned over, I saw her face, wild, inhuman, such a face I had never seen upon my perfect sister before. I ignored the stinging pain of my swollen cheek and carefully rose.
“How dare you speak to me in that unknowing voice!” Mary screeched, “I am the one who has given up everything I own to take care of this family, and Papa.”
“You needn’t worry about Papa any more, Mary. He has gone.”
For a moment, Mary regained her composure and her face returned to normal.
“What? Papa would never leave us!”
“He would, and he has. He cares nothing for us, Mary. He has abandoned us. Penny bore the brunt of his anger this morning when you and I went to find jobs. He has found some money and run away.”
Mary slumped back into Papa’s chair, her breath hasty.
“After all I did for him…” She sighed mournfully.
“Mary, please tell me what went on this morning. I need to know.”
“First I must apologise for hitting you, my dear sister. It was a foolish selfish act on my part. I wish I could release the anger inside me, but I must behave appropriately, for now you and I must take responsibility for Penelope, even if it means scraping dirt out of the gutter to feed ourselves.”
“Mary, I have found myself a job.” I explained, pulling a chair closer to where she sat. “It is a servant’s position at Willow Hall. I am sure that I could send you my weekly wage to pay for your meals.”
“I would not want that, my dear sister. It would not be fair. No, I must earn money myself. I am sure Mrs Friar at the Bakers would require some assistance. Penny and I could work there.”
“Mary, are you deliberately evading the question I first asked you?”
Mary put her hand on mine and smiled.
“I am not, my dear sister, however I will not tell you of the troubles I have suffered today. It is not fair to you.”
“I must tell you, Mary, that Lady Trunston expects me at six of the clock this evening, and she will not accept servants who are late.”
WILLOW HALL
My employment began later that evening when, as arranged, I met with the other servants of Willow Hall. I was shown to a small room on the second floor, which I supposed was the servants ‘common room’. It contained most of the furniture, which was too badly damaged to be showcased downstairs, and one bookcase full of yellowing books.
They sat around in little groups, and looked slightly irritated when I entered the room.
“Well well well.” Began a horse-faced woman with dark hair scraped back into a white cap, “who’s this then?”
“I’m Alison, Alison Parker.” I held out my hand for her to shake, but she did not return my offer.
“Yes, well, I’m Judith, the head housemaid. You look rather young to be working here. Missis don’t normally take anyone younger than fourteen.”
“I’m fourteen. Just.” I lied. I didn’t want them to think I was a child to be walked over and bullied.
“Hmm.” Sneered Judith, taking a bundle of black and white from another of the servants, “Ingrid, give that here. That’s ‘Miss’ Parker’s uniform.”
Ingrid smiled wickedly and Judith shoved the bundle into my hands.
“That’s your uniform.” She explained, “it used to be Winnie’s, but she left, poor girl.”
Two other servants sniggered.
“Beth, why don’t you show Miss Parker to her room?” Suggested Judith, with a sly grin.
Beth jumped to attention. She seemed to be the only servant worth speaking to. Her pale earnest face said it all. She was the doormat, the one everyone mocked and bullied.
“Come with me, Miss Parker.” She said, leading me from the room.
We didn’t converse during the time we spent looking for my room, and in my heart I felt abandoned and alone. I missed home more than I could say, and I hoped that Mary would cope with our predicament.
“This is your room,” Beth announced after a long trek up the stairs. She pushed open the door and revealed a small room about the size of our ‘parlour’ at home, with a sunken cast-iron bedstead, chipped mahogany chest of drawers and a bucket and sponge underneath a square window.
“I’ll leave you to settle in, Miss Parker.”
“Thank you, Beth.” I replied. As she turned to leave, her contented expression broke into a warm smile.
“Good luck, Miss Parker.”
And then, just as I was settling into Willow Hall, something terrible happened. I was becoming used to the hard days, and Judith Harris made my life hell. I suppose she was jealous of the fact that I got to wait on Eleanora and Maria, the mistress’ daughters, who acted as though they were from the same class as I. I had been entirely misinformed by the horrible Judith and I wanted her to pay for turning me into a work machine just so that I could get away from my worries.
However, I had been there about a month when the mistress announced that she was taking a trip to Edinburgh. I didn’t think much of it, I only knew that Eleanora and Maria had agreed that they would not take me along because they were worried about my pasty complexion and haunted eyes.
“No, Alison, you will stay here with Bethany and Margaret. All three of you require some time of your own, so enjoy this short holiday. We shall return in three days.”
“Oh, thank you, Eleanora!”
If I was honest, I would say that there wasn’t much to do whilst they were away, so I ‘mooched’ around the house. I was in the library when I heard a scream and a clatter of trays, so I rushed out to the staircase to see Judith there, clutching her ankle.
Any normal person would have turned away and rejoiced that their enemy had met her downfall at last; but not I. Mary’s teachings on Sundays had taught me that I had to help her, and so I did.
“Judith” I began cautiously, expecting her to shoo me away, but instead, her fixed scowl broke into a smile.
“Thank you.” She croaked.
“Now, what’s wrong?”
“My ankle. It hurts.”
“I see. I’ll take you down to the master so he doesn’t think you’re slacking, and we’ll get something put on your ankle.”
I helped her up and slowly, holding her arms, I took her to the master’s study. I tapped on the door politely but there came no answer. Disappointed, I assisted Judith to the kitchen, where Cook was preparing the evening supper.
“Cook, Judith has hurt her ankle.” I explained.
“No, I’m fine,” Judith protested crossly, “nothing to worry about. You do have to make a fuss, Alice.”
I felt my face flush, this was me, me who had helped a fellow servant in her time of need and having it thrown back in her face!
Judith attempted to release herself from my grasp but her ankle was too weak to support her, and she fell. Angry and hurt at being rejected, I left her there.
“Alice Parker, you get yourself right up those stairs this minute or God help me I will strip the flesh from your back! You can tell that Judith needs your help. Selfish, conceited pig!” Cook screamed at me, as two of the under-servants helped Judith into a chair. I decided it was best not to stay, so I fled, to the privacy and safety of my room.
Whilst there, I had time to contemplate. I had tried to help Judith, my enemy, in her time of need, and she had responded by complaining to Cook. I knew then that I could never trust her again.
The holiday finished, Missis and her daughters returned, and they seemed to have acquired a mean, cruel streak during their time in Edinburgh, for as soon as they stepped through the door, they were shouting orders, and complaining that I wasn’t working quickly enough. After four and half-hours, they finally retired to bed, and usually I was able to go to bed too. No such luck. Goodness knows what they had been doing, but their gowns were torn and their stockings laddered beyond repair. I sat in my chair next to the window stitching until my fingers were covered in pin-pricks and my eyes so heavy I just wanted to sleep.
I put down the last of the stockings and dragged myself upstairs to my bed. In the distance I heard the church clock strike one and fell into bed, exhausted.
