Ghosts of Time

Pale aliens sit in dark rooms, with a meager light.
Flashing before their large, peircing eyes.
Click, click, click; the infinite and solitary sounds that reverberate off the walls.
And Spartan halls remain untouched.
The outside world is empty of these creatures.
With nothing to remember them but the old reminices of the past.
Bikes left un-ridden, rusted and sad.
Jump ropes hanging from the limbs of trees, blown there by the wind; unbeknownst to their owners.
A lifeless doll sulks in a gutter, with her bestfriend nowhere in sight.
The only movement is this desolate place, is that of the satellites hovering around the block,
Providing an illusion of what is,
To the creatures that reside in the shadows.
The sun must rise and set alone,
And the harvest moon will go unnoticed,
Here in the land of the past.

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Pale aliens sit in dark rooms with screens of meager light before them.
Before their large eyes are flashing images: the windows to an unreal world.
Click, click, click; the infinite and solitary sounds that reverberate off the walls.
And Spartan halls remain untouched.
The outside world is empty of these creatures.
With nothing to remember them but the old reminices of the past.
Bikes left un-ridden, rusted and sad.
Jump ropes hanging from the limbs of trees, blown there by the wind; unbeknownst to their owners.
A lifeless doll sulks in a gutter, with her best friend nowhere in sight.
The only movement in this desolate place, is that of the satellites hovering around the block,
Providing an illusion of what really is,
To the creatures that reside in the shadows.
The sun must rise and set alone,
And the harvest moon will go unnoticed,
Here in the land of the past.

ok so a few changes, but not much because i pretty much am satisfied with this poem, but i probably wont be once i realize it makes sense to noone other than myself.
this is about the loss of humanity to technology. not the loss of life, but the loss of living, if that makes sense. the aliens are people, in dark little rooms using computers to communicate. spartan halls because there's nothing of the old human beauty that used to be. the outside world is empty because it's no longer necessary for people to be outside. the broken toys go along with this theme but also symbolize just the very liveliness that humanity should have, as depicted by children, the most lively of all. the satellites were just part of my imagination; i pitured these floating pieces of machinery that were like cameras and just took images for the people so they wouldnt have to go outside. the sun and moon were just my references to the natural beauty of the world that is wasted by people who care more about their facebook. and yes, this was supposed to have an apocalyptic feel to it.

with that said, let me know if any of that makes any sense at all, haha

Okay, here goes.
You could write this poem with stanzas or you could keep it the way you have it. Either way its your choice and it works. Its could be like this:
Or then again you could keep it the same.

Pale aliens sit in dark rooms, with a meager light.
Flashing before their large, peircing eyes.
Click, click, click; the infinite and solitary sounds that reverberate off the walls.
And Spartan halls remain untouched.

The outside world is empty of these creatures.
With nothing to remember them but the old reminices of the past.
Bikes left un-ridden, rusted and sad.
Jump ropes hanging from the limbs of trees, blown there by the wind; unbeknownst to their owners.

You might want to shorten you lines in the poetry also. I also see that you have a few typos. Bestfriends should be seperated. I'm getting the impression after reading this poem of lost or forgotten childhood.
You might also want to work on your grammar. You put periods in some of the places they are not needed. I would suggest you edit this a bit.
Good luck with your writing.

Do not listen to the above poster's advice on stanzas. The format of this poem is good the way it is and is probably actually superior to one with stanzas because you are conveying the aftermath of some sort of apocalypse - it would then not make sense to have the poem itself arranged in neat packages. This is why I must point out that it's a good thing you decided to leave each line floating on by itself. It works.

KatherineF92 wrote:Pale aliens sit in dark rooms, with a meager light.
Flashing before their large, peircing eyes.

"Large and piercing" tell me basically nothing because eyes are always described like this. You talk about light; incorporate that into the eyes. Perhaps they are faded supernovas? In any case, it's not "wrong" the way it is now because of the first line, but you should connect them thematically.

Click, click, click; the infinite and solitary sounds that reverberate off the walls.
And Spartan halls remain untouched.
The outside world is empty of these creatures.
With nothing to remember them but the old reminices of the past.
Bikes left un-ridden, rusted and sad.

The poem was good until you struck the reader with the vague emptiness of the "reminices of the past" line. Why? Take that out completely, it does nothing for the poem and actually ruins the concretism that you play out around it. It sticks out sorely.

Jump ropes hanging from the limbs of trees, blown there by the wind; unbeknownst to their owners.
A lifeless doll sulks in a gutter, with her bestfriend nowhere in sight.
The only movement is this desolate place, is that of the satellites hovering around the block,
Providing an illusion of what is,
To the creatures that reside in the shadows.
The sun must rise and set alone,
And the harvest moon will go unnoticed,
Here in the land of the past.

Sublime. From gazing at the scene through objects as small and unidentifiable as dolls to God's view from the cosmos, this poem captures it all and with such subtly that I could hear the silence around the decaying scene. It leaves enough mystery (again, the doll is an example of this) so that the reader wonders what kind of maelstrom of emotion and fear could have swept this land, but implicates perhaps...ourselves? Isolation?

Either way, remarkable work.

thankyou guys for your critiques! they've helped me notice some odd quirks i need to fix