I havn't read this yet, just saw the size. For more people to review it you should keep it shorter, the size of your last chaper is round about the right size.
My pirate leather boots were doing
Light treading on concrete floors, heavy panting and a slight rustling of a bag. This was me.
“Sirena, she’s waking!”
“Oh shut up Sage, let her sleep.”
The ear piercing screams were coming from an older girl far off in the right.
Fiery red flames made her restless hair
Laying on a dusty crimson carpet I was
in a world I’d never known of
Its texture like wet dirt
A thousand toadstools broke through the ceiling, hanging upside down
“Sage, Tabitha. Do you not know how to listen to your leader? When I tell you to do something I expect you to do it.” Sirena hissed frigidly.
“Why you’re a mischievous one aren’t you? I like you’re style kid. You’ve got potential in you, leadership potential
You don’t know how many boys snuck in her
I teased, flashing my fangs up at him
I shot a dazzling grim up at him.