Blind - Chapter 7

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You guys are going to slap me for this poorly done chapter,
But I had some difficulty presenting what I had in mind.
So I hope you'll help me out with this chapter,
And hopefully still read more of my story.
Thanks again.
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I had to admit, it was a strange feeling to be separated from them. We were always sticking together, but this time I could not bring myself to stay with them.

Not after I saw her.

I could not let myself fall into the same trap again, to let myself feel such pain. I had to maintain my distance, not only from her, but from all of them.

I shuffled into my homeroom taking my place next to three other empty seats.
“Nate!”

I recognised the familiar voice belonging to Helen. She’d been me and my brothers’ best friend ever since fourth grade and the only of her kind that I could trust.

I turned to my left to face a beaming Helen and couldn’t resist cracking a smile. “Hell.” I greeted.

She frowned, “I really hate that. You make me sound like a devil.”

I looked at her with wide, innocent eyes, “But aren’t you already one?”

“Nate, you jerk!” She smacked me on the head.

“Oww! Watch it, woman! Are you trying to kill me?” But instead of sounding mad, I laughed. After all, she was being plain old Helen.

“Anyway, our teachers are gonna be late because of some briefing, so I’m going to the ladies first.”

“To what? Powder your nose?” I asked in a bored voice.

With a simple flick of the head that ruffled her short hair, she stomped out of the room with her nose in the air.
***

“She’s had a slight concussion from hitting her head when she fell, but other than that, she looks fit for class.” The nurse declared, scribbling notes on a clipboard.

“Thank you, Ma’am, we’ll just accompany her back to her class then.”

“Do you need me to write an excuse for you?”

“No thank you, we’ll just explain it to our teacher. I’m sure he or she will understand.” Nathan smiled charmingly at the nurse.

“Wearing a sweater in this weather, no wonder she fainted!” I heard Nathaniel exclaim, “Was she trying to get a heat stroke?”

“I can still hear you.” I snapped, getting off the bed.

“So are you feeling well enough, Melody?” Nathan looked at me with those beautiful green eyes, which were sadly, identical to Nathaniel’s.

“Yes,” I mumbled shyly, “Thanks.”

“So which homeroom are you in? We’ll escort you there.”

“It’s okay, you go ahead without me.” Speak up, Melody! You sound like you’re talking to yourself. “I’ll be fine.”

“But we insist, Piano!” I felt my irritation for Nathaniel resurface.

“Which is exactly why I refuse! Because like I’ve mentioned before, I don’t want to go anywhere with you!” I growled.

“I could take you to your homeroom, without Nathaniel’s presence, if you would like.”

Heat flashed to my cheeks as he flashed me a dazzling smile. “Umm… it’s okay, I can handle it myself.” I mumbled, looking down at the floor. For some reason it made me feel unsettled, when someone finally paid attention to me.

Apparently Nathan could see that I was not very keen to take up their offer. “Very well, we’ll see you around then, Melody.”

“Aww come on, Melody! I just want to help you.” Nathaniel sighed, for the first time since I’ve known him, he looked frustrated at something.

“Let’s go, Nathaniel. If she needs help, she can always ask us, but right now she doesn’t. So stop being a stubborn donkey and let’s go.”

“Of all animals, why a donkey?” Nathaniel protested.

“It’s a common figure of speech, you idiot. Fine, let’s go… mule.”

Nathaniel pouted, but followed his brother out of the nurse’s office. The nurse gave me a few painkiller pills for the concussion and I left after thanking her.

I hurried down the deserted hallway and practically flew up the flight of stairs to the second level. The first period bell had already rung. Oh no, I’m going to walk into the classroom and everyone’s going to seated and staring at me for my tardiness. Now the teacher and my peers are going to have a horrible first impression of me.

I was about to turn around the corner to my class when I heard a commotion behind me.

“I’m sorry.” A girl squeaked, as I poked my head out to look. She was clutching on to a stack of textbooks and being pinned to a locker by a tall blonde girl built like a supermodel.

[i]Gosh, another high school drama with one ‘Queen of the Bitches’ to top it all off. Some things would never change.


“Do you think that a simple ‘sorry’ would suffice?” Wow, the witch actually knew the word ‘suffice’. Shocker. “You broke my nail and chipped my polish when dropped your stupid books on my hand!” She raised her index finger to show the broken nail and chipped fuschia polish.

Abruptly, a girl walked in on them, striding purposefully before coming to a stop in front of them. Her hair was cropped short and she wore a plain white top with army patterned long pants. She was even taller than the bitch.

“Oh, it’s you again, Nielson.” She rolled her eyes, looking bored. “Out to terrorise people again?”

“Don’t call me ‘Nielson’! My name is Shelby!” She hissed, then sneered contemptuously, “Still the same as ever I see.”

“Your point?”

“Just beat it, Helen. I’ve got some business to settle with this kid.”

“God, quit being so melodramatic, Nielson. It’s not like she committed a felony.”

“She. Broke. My. Nail.” Shelby screeched.

The girl called Helen yawned, “I’m getting tired of playing games. Let the girl go or I’ll tell everyone that you used to stuff toilet paper down your bra when you were twelve.”

“I did not!” Shelby replied, a little too quickly, I might add. “You’re only saying that because you’re jealous of me!”

“And you’re jealous of me because Trey picked me and not you.”

“He did not! It was I who didn’t want him, not the other way round!”

“Whatever. Keep telling yourself that, but if you don’t let go of the girl right now, tomorrow you’ll see the front page news of our school paper, ‘Sophomore Shelby Nielson, the Bra Stuffer’.”

Shelby let out a scream of frustration before releasing her grip on the girl and storming off without another word.

“You okay, kid?” Helen leaned down to face the girl, her voice filled with concern. The girl nodded, still shaken. After straightening her spectacles, the impish little brunette kid scurried off without a word of thanks.

“I know you’re there.” Helen turned towards the general direction of where I was. I froze, deciding whether to show myself or flee. “You can come out, I won’t bite.” She continued, when I did not take any action.

Slowly, I stepped out from pillar I was hiding behind. Strolling briskly past her, I mumbled an apologetic ‘Sorry’, without meeting her eyes.

Behind me, she replied, “You shouldn’t sneak around like that, eavesdropping on other people’s business.”

Melody, you idiot.
***

“Melody?!” I heard my brother exclaim in a strangled, but not necessarily displeased voice. Reflexively, I lifted my head to see Melody walk into our class.

The moment she spotted Nathaniel, her eyes widened in horror and shock, like when she first saw us at the school entrance. I watched in fascination as her face turned red, then green, then white.

“Crud. My day just gets better and better.” I heard her growl. Her seat must have been right next to mine and Nate’s, seeing as it was the only one left and there was a bag on the chair. I noticed how Nate tensed up when she sat down and I sighed. That boy really hasn’t gotten over it.

Normally my brothers and I would have sat next to each other, but as the seats next to Nate were taken, I had to sit with Nathaniel. Lucky Nate, he got to sit with Helen and Melody. I would have much preferred sitting with Helen, and Melody of course. It got a bit tiresome having to sit next to Nate, who could be very emo at times, and Nathaniel, whose excessive exuberance could really annoy the hell out of me.

Having a feeling that Nate wouldn’t be interacting with Melody much, I decided to introduce her to Helen when she came back from the ladies.

“Where’s the teacher?” Melody asked my softly, looking confused.

“They’re all at a meeting with the principal, but they should be back soon.” Goodness, she was a shy one.

“Oh,” She mumbled, retrieving her biology textbook from her bag, she lapsed into silence and began pouring over the pages intently, until she was disrupted.

“Hey, Piano! Isn’t it so cool that we’re classmates? That means we’ve got all our classes together!” Nathaniel stuck his head out to look past me and at her. His eagerness made him look more like twelve years old than fifteen.

“Oh joy.” She replied sarcastically, then adding, “And I told you not to call me that.”

“Piano, piano, piano!” Nathaniel chanted in a sing song voice.

“God, Nathaniel, what is your problem? Why are you always picking on me?” She snapped, slamming her book shut.

“Because it’s fun!” My brother grinned goofily, “You’re so cute when you flare up like that.”

Melody glared at him, “I’m going to murder you, and the police are never going to find your body. For the last time, leave me alone!”

“Make me,” Nathaniel taunted in a teasing tone, still smiling at her like a little child. “How many times have you asked me to leave you alone? It never works.”

Nate and some other curious students, like me, turned to observe the pair of them exchange words. While one teased, the other berated and got more and more frustrated. It was a rather endearing sight that reminded me of old couple arguing, for some weird reason.

But the most dominant emotion that I felt right at that moment, was envy. Even though I had only just got to make her acquaintance, I felt the envy eat me up from the inside.

Whenever she talked to me, she was so reticent. Why couldn’t she be as open and bold with me as she was with Nathaniel? Did I really need to annoy the hell out of her to get such a response?
~Liverpool F.C Supporter~
"You'll never walk alone"




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Yayyyy! I'm first to review! That was awesome, but there were a few parts that confused me. The whole second half's POV is from Nathan, right? It took me a while to figure that out.

Normally my brothers and I would have sat next to each other, but as the seats next to Nate were taken, I had to sit with Nathaniel. Lucky Nate, he got to sit with Helen and Melody. I would have much preferred sitting with Helen, and Melody of course. It got a bit tiresome having to sit next to Nate, who could be very emo at times, and Nathaniel, whose excessive exuberance could really annoy the hell out of me.


This really confused me and I read this over around five times before getting an inkling of what Nathan (or Nate or Nathaniel because I get so confused!) were saying.

Also, near the end Nathaniel acts extremely immature, which he sometimes does, but never this much. It was rather irritating.

You had a good amount of details and fillers. I really enjoyed the length of this chapter, but your POV's confused me. Maybe you could add more to the triplet's unique personalities, like how Nate is emo. Maybe you could just go into detail a bit more on that, so there is no confusion. Try to develop these new characters a bit more, because it's clear they'll play an important role in future chapters.

Anyway, I can't wait for chapter 8! :D
Got YWS?

You judge others upon their actions, but you judge yourself by your intention.




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Apparently I am writing at a slow pace.
Because everyone's telling me develop this and that,
But I've still got many chapters to do that and which I plan to :D

The first part is Nate's POV,
Second is Melody's,
Third is Nathan's.
They're separated by the 3 asterisks ***

Sorry about the Nate, Nathan & Nathaniel confusion.
But thats how triplets are, people always getting confused with who's who.
I'm kidding. *whispers* It's Mrs Peyton's fault, she named them...
~Liverpool F.C Supporter~
"You'll never walk alone"




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That was a good chapter to have.

So, let me get this straight: Nate used to like Melody, Nathaniel likes Melody, and Nathan is getting feelings for her? So it's a bit like past, present and future lol. Hmmmmm...

Okay, The triplets are not much different to each other, nor are their tone of voice and their vocabulary choices. I strongly recommend you work on each of them one-by-one, and work out the type of effect you want them to inflict on the reader. Honestly, it will be less confusing for readers too. I mean you're already on the right track with Nathaniel, because you know it was him speaking when he called Melody "Piano".

Just get the characters developed more and this chapter will have a bigger and better effect than you expected.
Keep it Old Skool.




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Uhh...technically,
I didn't say that Nate used to like Melody, let alone like her presently.
Neither did I say that Nathan likes melody in that way.
He justs wants to make friends with Melody, but she's so shy with him.
He's jealous that she's so open with Nathaniel.
But I'll work on their characters more :)
Though twins/triplets etc... can be alike in their personalities.
~Liverpool F.C Supporter~
"You'll never walk alone"



Don't aim at success--the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself.
— Viktor E. Frankl