To Start Anew

Life goes on...People come and they go,
I just wish time could feel more slow.
So many things I wish to redo, so much
time I wish I could start anew.


Getting over a broken heart takes time,
especially when that person had said they
wanted you for their Valentine.


True friends stay true, ones who aren't turn
around and backstab you. Very hard to deal
with, very hard to live with.


Wanting to relive the past, is in its own, impossible.
Wanting to have control of the future isn't even plausible.
Living today is all you can do, and the next you can start
over anew.


Freezing time, I wish was possible......
making the days go slower I wish was my new miracle.
All I can do is cherish each day, and try to live with a smile
on my face.


You have to let go of your mistakes, because
everyone in this life is not perfect. If we all were,
we wouldn't need help to step through the door.


Life goes on...People come and they go,
I just wish time could feel more slow.
So many things I wish to redo, so much
time I wish I could start anew.

Hello and welcome to YWS! I know you joined in October, but since you have only one post I'm assuming you're still new. If you have any questions about the site, feel free to message me. You might want to take a look at The Rules. One of the rules requires members to review before posting their own work, which you haven't done. That's okay, you can still make up for it by reviewing.


As to the poem! You have a good message, about starting anew, being happy with what you have and so forth, but you don't speak to me, I don't feel anything while reading this poem. You tell me about things that have happened to the speaker, and how the speaker feels, but I can't relate to it as is. Your stanzas say good things, but it's more like a list of comments on life rather than a poem. True friends stay true, heart break is hard to get over... can you show me something? Can you make me feel something? Instead of telling me that we have to let go of our mistakes, can you convince me of this?

Poetry isn't just words in stanzas with line breaks. Poetry can also have imagery of the senses, sound devices, metaphors, similes, and tons of other things. It might seem hard how to use them, so I would suggest reading more poetry. Perhaps you already read poetry, but one can't read too much! It's the best way to learn how to write poetry, in my opinion.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that your poetry needs more to it, more poetic stuff to it. If you have any questions about this review, or the site, feel free to message me. Best of luck!

*claps* Hi and welcome to YWS!
This was a good piece for your first one to post. I loved it.

One thing confused me throughout the whole poem, was that your lines were messed up. It seemed to me that part of some of the lines should have been on the one above or below it. For example-

True friends stay true, ones who aren't turn
around and backstab you. Very hard to deal
with, very hard to live with.

It looks a little strange when you read it like that, at least it did for me. Did you do that purposly, or not?

I see now that Suzanne has already talked about the Rules and such. You can PM as well if you have any questions.

This is good, Angel! I loved it! If no one has told you yet, to make a post you have to have 2 reviews on other people's posts. There's just a couple grammar and spelling errors you should check out:

You have to let fo (go) of your mistakes, because
everyone in this life is not perfect. If we all were,
we wouldn't need help to step through the door.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

True friends stay true,[maybe put a ; after true; gives a longer pause. See? ^_^] ones who aren't turn
around and backstab you. Very hard to deal
with, very hard to live with.

Very, very impressive, and you told me your writing hasn't gotten any better. Your lying sure has. The poem is not the greatest in the world, I'll admit. To say that it's perfect would be a disgrace and a lie, however it is very genuine. When I read it, I see something more than words, I see myself. I feel a bond with the heart you put into your poem, and in that sense you worked magic. Beyond all the spelling errors, and questionable grammar, this poem is a success because it has feeling, it has passion. I hope you go from here.