Oh Society...

It seems some rare love may go beyond the surface, conquer just physical and personality traits, it can be deep rooted, engraved in both souls. Leaving an unavoidable dent-one that can interrupt the daily flow of thoughts and actions. Does this sound like love, or a passing fling? Can one judge simply on norms alone, or allow perspective to permeate an ever closing mind, seeping into the crevices like ice water, warping the biased opinions and words into thoughtful reflections. Allowing light to christen at last, empathizing with the meaning of true love, or what is thought to be…


Can society truly collaborate with society? What is "society's" opinion on everything? Can "they" truly define our thoughts, actions, words? How does one progress, if society is always there to stop a persevering soul? Can one truly love, or does it only give the impression of love, without a lasting dent? What does love mean to society, can it be the ultimate financial comfort? Or perhaps the white house, white picket fence, 2.5 kids, "American Dream"? Conversely, this may be condoned, but just because "society" accepts it. But society simply accepts it for the combination of goals of which you reached, is it really something to strive for? Clearly not everyone is actually "society". I know I was never polled. But playing devil's advocate, society socializes us from birth. If one truly comprehends how much society actually creates who we are as a person, the aforementioned sentence becomes valid.

Can one sincerely be a good person, or is it what they have done to impress society that gives them this label? What if the values of society are corrupt misguided, misleading? Who is society to make judgments…?

This is very...deep. This made me think for a while, which is something I look for in all writings like this. However, I feel like you are using too many questions in this piece. Some of them are fine, but too many of them can draw attention away from your main point. Your word choice is interesting, to say the least.

Can society truly collaborate with society?

That one question was a little bit confusing. I'm not sure what you mean by that, so perhaps you could make it a little clearer? Also, your beginning seemed a tad bit irrelevant to me. Maybe you could make it more... pointed?

Finally, I'm not exactly sure what the point of this piece was. Was it supposed to be persuasive? Controversial?

Hi! Gotta say, your piece left me with very mixed feelings. You use a lot of complicated words and obviously know how to produce elaborate writing, but I get the feeling you overdid it somewhat - Since the actual point of your text was somewhat overshadowed by the amount of tricky wording, as if you were trying to make your idea as obscure and hard to catch as possible. Or disguise the lack of it...?

Now don't get me wrong, I like texts that make me think, and it's clear you're aiming for a text that provokes thoughts. But I'd like to spend time pondering upon the point(s) you've made, instead of "what the frick does that word mean?" or "What the heck are you trying to say here?" It could just mean I suck at english though of course.

Now that I've gotten your style covered, to your actual content. You ask a lot of questions, and they poke at many areas! However, it all seems very scatterbrained, and the first and second chapters seem to have no real link that I can find, bar somewhat vague questions about love in your society bit. In fact, the whole first chapter seems out of place, like it doesn't belong in this post at all, since your wonderings about love in the following chapter don't really need that long of a backdrop (in my opinion).

The society chapter seems to make a whole lot more sense though, and the further towards the end you go the better your dilemmas become. Gotta say it took me a few reads before I got my head around your approach. A few observations!

"Can society truly collaborate with society?"
Like the above poster, I didn't quite understand that.

"How does one progress, if society is always there to stop a persevering soul?"
What do you mean, stop? You make an argument of society stopping a soul, yet give no examples or explain what you mean with this, leaving the sentence a bit void.

So society's norms, and the question of whether they're desirable or not is at the heart of your text, yes? You illustrate the question well enough. However, you are a bit vague about what you mean by society. Do you mean all the people around you? Or do you separate family and friends, and the effects they have from society, limiting it to the effect that ones' culture has on the self? (By pointing out the well-known psychological fact that we are indeed children of our respective cultures, and can't go by without it affecting us I think that's what you're thinking...)

The very last bit I particularly liked, it's clear and to the point. Good good.

I think I'll just shush now. This is becoming really long... But a sum up, good questions to ask, but a bit scatterbrained and vague presentation!

Hi, in ways you are definetely right and got me to think.

Yeah, a lot of the time people see me as being good or a good person, but half the time it's like the things I do to get that label doesn't make me happy. I don't do some of the things I want to do because society makes me think that it's wrong. Family judgements too...

But it's one of those things that you either fight against or play the game in the rules. Stay in the lines or jog over them.

ahh, another outlaw,
greetings,

can you hear her whisper? from your very birth? Mother Culture tells you what is right, what is true, but it's all a lie.

Mother Culture whispers in the background, like a song that never starst, and never ends. few break free from her grasp, but many, most, even all of us are ensnared at this time..

guess what? alot of times, I am veiwed as a bad person.
but I am not, sure, I don't have the highest regard for the law, and I have had a run-in or two with the police, I have almost no respect for authority, unless I was part of the vote that put that authority in power, I feel, that I should not have to listen to someone I had o choice in electing.
such as teachers.
but thats a whole nother story
I do not think I am a bad person, I am a generous person, I will help people randomly, for no reward,
no gratitude at all, but well life is hard at all walks.

anyhow, this is a very deep piece, and i thank you for posting it.
I would like to know,
who are you? I mean who are YOU?
seriously.

we must break free of Mother Culture, she is suffocating the earth.

Peace,
God

So I am not an outlaw. I loved your essay and the idea behind your questions is a very well put one indeed. So like i said im not an outlaw so much as a misfit. I would do anything for almost anybody if i could but does that make me a good person to society? The answer is no it doesnt make me a good person the societys idea of a good person is a well rounded one and well rounded people will lead to the downfall of a race of highly intelligent creatures probably more than on actully but that being put aside good points nicce questions and good work.

"Two and a half kids..." Zahwot? Is that supposed to be a reflection on Americans' obsession with statistics?

Anyway. Perhaps this should be longer. Add some more arguments. Spice it up with ancedotes.

I have to be honest ... I really did not like this piece. I found this far too protentious to take seriously. It lacked any real substence or depth and there was undercurrent of self-importance and naivety that came across which was very unattractive to read. There are way's of writing profound literature, and in my opinion, repeatedly asking confusing and contrived question's is certainly not it.

Sorry for my reaction, this sort of literature just wind's me up!

Write a book. I don't know what else to say except right a book.