My Reacurring Dream.

[i] I remember it like it was yesterday, the thin mist in the distance of the dense forest. The sun was hiding behind the clouds, it was too incredible to be real. We are leaning against a tall willow tree, the light wind blows the drooping leaves repiditivaly. We lay their in silence, no words are needed for this. I look up at your beautiful face, how could you be mine? Your too perfect, to good to be true, your the best thing thats happened to me in such a long time. I turn my head in the other direction of you. your cool hand lightly touches my cheek softly and gently. I turned my head, i couldnt resist the smile that appeared on my face. I closed my eyes to feel you soft lips touch my neck gently. Your work your way up to my frozen lips, even though I always feel warm when your arms around around me. Thats when it hit me, how did this happen? how did we get here? i dont remember anything. Just then the annoying buzzing sound of my alarm clock awoke me to the sun shining through my window hitting my face and making my eyes squint. This always happens to me, Why me? just when I think I have something worth living for. It ends up to be non existant to me.

OHOH I WIN I WIN.
idk what I win at but I think it's that I know you in person, yay!

Okay, time for one of Olivia's THOROUGH reviews, readyy for it!?

kay(:

(first, did you do the 2:1 ratio thing?)

We are leaning against a tall willow tree, the light wind blows the drooping leaves repiditivaly.

All right so in the beginning you used past tense. Then you start to switch to present like in the sentence above. Try and keep it all past or present.

their

there*

Your

You're*

to good

too*

your

you're*

. your cool hand l

'your' should be capitalized.

i couldnt

I couldn't*

gently

Repetitive.

Your work your

You work*

how

How*

i

I*

Why me? just when I think I have something worth living for. It ends up to be non existant to me.

Why should be lower cased.
Just should be upercased.
Put a coma after 'for' and lower case 'it'.


Overall
It was short and sweet. Cute, petit, realistic. You did a good job for your first post! You had a lot of grammatical errors, though. I suggest maybe spell check or read through after you're done writing. Good job!

Peace,
Olivia.

Did you mean for this to be in italics?

[i]

You changed from past to present tense.

The sun was hiding behind the clouds, it was too incredible to be real. We are leaning against a tall willow tree,

Did you mean Repetitively?

the light wind blows the drooping leaves repiditivaly.

I loved this sentence.

We lay their in silence, no words are needed for this.

Grammatical/Other Spelling Errors

Your You're, but I would use "You are" to provide emphasis too perfect, to too good to be true, your you're the best thing thats that has happened to me in such a long time. I turn my head in the other direction of you change that bit, it sounds wrong. Maybe make it, "I turn my face away from you". your Your (capital) cool hand lightly touches my cheek softly and gently Maybe change this to "touches my cheek, softly and gently caressing it. I turned Again, you are mixing up past and present tense my head, iI (capital) couldnt Mixing up tenses again, and it is "couldn't" resist the smile that appearedtenses on my faceYou can't resist the smile on your own face? Maybe change that to his face instead.I closedtenses my eyes to feel youyour soft lips touch my neck gentlyYou don't really need this word here. Youryou work your way up to my frozen lips, even though I always feel warm when your arms around around are around me. ThatsThat's (as in "that is") when it hittenses me, how did this happen? how How (capital) did we get here? i dont I (capital) don't remember anything. Just then the annoying buzzing sound of my alarm clock awoketenses me to the sun shining through my windowcomma hitting my face and making my eyes squint change this to: face, making me squint my eyes (or something along those lines). This always happens to me, Why why, no capital me? just when I think I have something worth living for.I would continue this sentence, no period It ends up to be non existantexistent to me.

Overall, I think if you provide a little bit more description at the end and correct your grammatical and spelling errors it would be quite a pleasent short story.

I like this. I would have liked a longer post, but this is fine. As for the editing, just stop switching tenses. It makes the reader a bit confused.

Welcome to YWS!

kierstyn,
i loved this. i would have to agree though with everyone else... don't switch tenses. but i loved how you described everything so vividly. maybe describe more about the characters in here

-lindsey =]