When Will This Moment Stop

I'm not necessarily known for being a poet (nor a writer actually) though its fun. See how you like it

When will this moment stop
Where the grass tickles my toes
And the harsh but soft wind blows
Hard so that my hair
Gets in the way of my view?

It may actually be a second
Or maybe a 24-hour day
The tranquility of the atmosphere
Makes it so hard to say

I see liberated horses to the north
And the vast blue sea to the south
And to the east and west is nothing but lush plain

But I must be mistaken
Where are the cars, the roads, the pollution
And most of all
Where is the pain?

I feel nothing but glee and bliss
No thoughts of the preventable deaths
Of the millions of people—children
A day

Where are the TV’s
With the nightly news on
Telling the known-all-to-well
Story of the teen shooting at the mall?

I don’t see a thing wrong
I don’t see a thing mean
I don’t see other people
Things are not what they seem

I reality like this poem, though I'm not sure if my interpretation of it is correct. Am I right in thinking it's describing the last few moments of a time of bliss as a person comes back to reality? Whatever the case, you should be proud of this.

I do have a couple of minor things I'd like to draw your attention to, however:

Firstly, where you say "24-hour day", some people might dislike this, and will say you should say "twenty four hour day". This isn't a huge problem, though, and you have artistic license, so it isn't 100% necessary that you change this.

Secondly, where you say "Telling the known-all-to-well," it should say "Telling the known-all-too-well."

Anyways, it's a great poem, and I hope you produce more.

The only thing that got me on this was how the lines kept changing in syllable numbers drastically, but it's not something to worry about. It's just how you decided to express the words, lol. I automatically look for rhythm everywhere. The "liberated horses" part threw me a bit, but I got the overall meaning after I read the entire thing. I agree with Face Engine; you should be proud of this. I can all ready assume who would tear it apart looking for harsh critiques, but it's still great. =]

i really like how this poem ends, but its a little confusing cuz some lines rhymed with eachother and then they wouldn't, so i would check that... but i love the message it sends