I don't expect you to understand these things before I tell you about them. But if I ever met you, I would want you to. Because they affect me in ways that are both terribly public and crushingly private.
Point is, people need to learn about them so that they can appreciate the depth of these conditions and their effects on the people that have them. There is also a reason I don't use the word 'disability'. That word portrays the whole mind-frame that these conditions are debilitating. which effectively creates a pessimistic black hole. I won't lie to you. It's not easy having these things. But if you meet somebody who's 'handicapped', so help you, don't use that word. Neither pity nor put downs will change the reality of these people's lives. Help them, and help yourself by accepting that fact. Now for the conditions:
Numero uno: Autism Spectrum Disorders Most people will think of a silent, stony-faced child who sits in a corner, rocking and is completely unresponsive. This is the sad truth for a minute portion of the Autistic population, but most are nowhere nearly so severe. The most important thing you can learn about Autism is that it's a SPECTRUM DISORDER. That means it's like the difference between black and white--white being a normal person, and black being a very severely autistic person. There are many, many, many shades of gray in between the black and the white. I am in the pale gray. I have Asperger's Syndrome. The whole set of symptoms portrayed by people with ASD's (in any range of severity) are: Fixation: this means that they are basically prone to obsession, eg, they become obsessed easily, and tend to stay with that obsession for a long time. Usually a positive one, although that doesn't mean their family and friends won't go crazy from hearing them talk about it ALL THE TIME. This is called perseveration. Delayed Social Skills: they display difficulty fitting into a social structure; they often have trouble in conversation, and may talk about a narrow range of things. likely their perseveration is a favorite subject. Poor Language or even non-existent language: this means they may not speak at all, or are nonverbal. Most, however, do speak, at least a little. All three criterion must be met for a patient to be diagnosed with Autism. Those who fall in two of the categories will likely be classified as having Asperger's Syndrome--which I have. My nine-year-old bother is mildly Autistic. This is why I included this condition. I never do hear the end of his rants about WWII...(that's his perseveration, lucky me, I like history, though.) Contrary to popular belief, minutely few, autistic people are savants, although they may have extensive knowledge on the subject of their perseveration. Very few have such an extraordinary gift like those who are shown in the media.
Along with ASD's may come sensory issues. You may have no idea what that means. I can tell, you, though. Sensory issues make everyday, normally inoffensive stimuli almost unbearable. My worst sensory issues would be sound. A sniffle, snort, sneeze, clearing of the throat, etc, will trigger an instant rage reaction. Sensory issues are a real challenge in my day-to-day life.
Numero dos: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder You may have seen the show Monk, where the freaky detective dude washes his hands way too much, and is obsessed with avoiding all germs. That is a pretty good picture of OCD from an outsider's standpoint. But what about living with it? That, my friends, is a very different story. OCD may cause things called COMPULSIONS, or actions that someone does repetitively, but not to be confused with positive obsessions or positive actions that one repeats for satisfaction. Completely different story... OCD is an anxiety disorder. This means, in very basic terms, people with this suffer chronic anxiety. How so? Well, back to the example of Detective Monk. He's afraid of germs. So why does he wash his hands all the time? He's afraid they'll get into his body. But not all obsessions, or intense, sometimes debilitating worries, are so simple. Some involve feelings of guilt, shame, fears for other people's lives, fear of committing suicide, fear of blasphemy, and the list goes on. Those are just a few of the most common ones. Depression my accompany a particularly severe case of OCD, triggered by the constant angst and worry. Yes, it can make your life a living Hell. I have this one too. I should know.
Number three: Tourette's Syndrome You may have seen on TV reality shows or medical dramas, etc,etc, where people cuss aloud with all the nasty words every three seconds. When you hear the word Tourette's, you probably think of the word 'spastic,' or 'impulsive'. But it's not impulsive. People with this have thought for endless hours about the weird motions and noises they make. Because they don't understand why they do it much more than you do. And they don't like doing it any more than you like seeing it or hearing it. Why? Because the motions/noises are called tics. And guess what--tics are UNVOLUNTARY. Unvoluntary is a big word that means you can't really help it. So the basic of this is, well, something in my brain tells me to do this. I don't understand why, but I need to... EG: I have this one too. So here's a real life example. One of my tics is nodding, another grunting, another grimacing, blinking, and flexing/popping my neck muscles. Sound weird? I don't enjoy it, but I do it regularly. Why? Well, here I am writing this, and I have this built up tension in my throat, sort of like the lump you get when you cry too long, a feeling of discomfort. And the best way I know of to get rid of it is to, well, grunt. And grimace, flex my neck muscles. It's like an itch you are contorting to reach and scratch.
**a month or so after writing this: I am now constantly cursing unvoluntarily, squatting every three steps, having convulsions that throw me around bounce my laptop out of my lap, and it's because of my recently exacerbated Tourette's. We are in Baltimore, awaiting an appointment at John Hopkins to see what is causing this cruel worsening.**Is it my fault I have this? My mom's? No. It's neurological--you're sort of mis-wired to have it, or you're wired right and don't. All the disorders I have listed here are neurological. Autism isn't caused by bad parenting. It's a neurological disorder. People that have OCD aren't over-sensitive emotional idiots. They have an imbalance of chemicals in their brains such as serotonin and dopamine. The same goes for the other two conditions. It has some quirk of the brain that causes this crap to happen to people. I don't like the reality, but I have to face it daily. It's my life, and it's better than no life at all. No, I don't appreciate the stares I get for making sounds in Math class, or the social anxiety caused by my Aspergers. And I'd sooner be shot than say I liked having OCD. This stuff is real, it's serious, and needs to be part of the public's general knowledge. Why? Because the public has it and deals with it and runs into people who have it on a daily basis. It' s an innate part of life as we know it. That is why I wrote this.
