Osaka Tales

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Okay guys, I haven't even LOOKED at this since last sumer, so please, feel free to tear it apart. Seriously, make fun of me about how bad it is, if you think so. I can take it.

Also, this is incomplete. Probably just a tiny bit into the second act.






FADE IN:



INT. STUDY - NIGHT

SUPERIMPOSE - OSAKA, JAPAN, 1970

The room is bare and dimly lit, with architecture that's
clearly of Asian influence; the walls are made of paper with
dark wooden frames.

EIJI (V.O.)
In the yakuza, there are three
qualities that truly define a man.

Kneeling seiza-style in the center of the room is IJICHI EIJI
(65). The Japanese man is worn out and defeated looking.
Sweat drips from his face, and his eyes look swollen. The
front of Eiji's kimono is open, revealing an elaborate series
of TATTOOS that cover his entire body.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
The first, and most important, is
loyalty. Loyalty is the binding
force of the yakuza. Without it, no
family can ever survive.

Eiji lights some incense, then reaches for a wakizashi (a
Japanese short-sword).

CLOSE-UP

of Eiji's right hand; his pinky has been severed at the
second joint down from the tip.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
The second quality is respect.
Respect from the community, and
from the average working man, this
is where a yakuza finds his place
in society. By nature we are
outcasts, and only through the
respect of others can we support
ourselves.

Eiji grips the wakizashi with the point facing his stomach.
He takes a long, deep breath, preparing himself to commit
seppuku, an ancient form of ritual suicide.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
The final, and most difficult to
grasp, is that of fear. Fear is a
weapon more powerful than any gun
can ever be. It's only when a man
is feared by his enemies, that he
can control and defeat them. Even
if that enemy is himself.

Eiji's hands shake as he holds the wakizashi. He closes his
eyes, nods to himself slightly, and then without hesitation
thrusts the blade towards his bare abdomen.

CUT TO:



EXT. COURTYARD - DAY

SUPERIMPOSE - 50 YEARS EARLIER

The face of a YOUNG Eiji Ijichi (15) fills the frame. His
features are soft and innocent, very different from the
weathered, hardened appearance of the man he will one day
become.

EIJI (V.O.)
My father, he owned a successful
general store in Utsunomiya.
Farmers came from all over the
country-side to buy whatever they
need.
(pause)
We lived a good life.

Eiji is practicing calligraphy in the center of a lavish
courtyard. The garden is decorated with an assortment of
different plants, trees, and flowers. Eiji carefully moves a
brush (held in a no longer pinky-less right hand) in long
strokes up and down the piece of parchment before him.

MALE VOICE (O.S.)
Eiji! Where are you?

Eiji looks over his shoulder to see his FATHER standing by
the back door of the house. He's dressed in a traditional
kimono, and his graying hair is in a top-knot.

FATHER
Come Eiji, there's someone I want
you to meet!

CUT TO:



INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

In the living room, Eiji's father is standing next to TWO
PEOPLE: An OLD MAN and an attractive YOUNG WOMAN.

FATHER
This is Hisoyuki Kumiai. He is the
chief judge in Utsunomiya.

Eiji's father turns to the YOUNG WOMAN.

FATHER (CONT'D)
And this is his mistress, Takahashi
Oyoshi.

Both KUMIAI and OYOSHI (20) bow to Eiji, who in return bows
noticeably lower.

FATHER (CONT'D)
(to Eiji)
Miss Takahashi will be staying in
our guest house for the summer. I
expect you will treat her with the
same respect as any other member of
our household.

EIJI
Of course. I look forward to the
company of Miss Takahashi.

Oyoshi half smiles, half smirks at Eiji. He's obviously
intimidated by the beautiful woman.

EIJI (CONT'D)
It's interesting that the course of
my life should be changed so
radically due to the presence of
this woman.

CUT TO:



EXT. COURTYARD - DAY

Eiji watches Oyoshi walk around the courtyard, holding an
umbrella to shield her from the sun.

EIJI (V.O.)
I became infatuated with Oyoshi
from the moment I saw. She was the
beautiful woman I had ever seen,
even more so than the geishas in
Osaka.

Oyoshi stops to look at some FLOWERS. She reaches out and
touches one of them gently, then continues walking along. Out
of the corner of her eye she notices Eiji watching her.

CUT TO:



EXT. GUEST HOUSE - DAY

EIJI (V.O.)
At the end of every month, my
father would send me to the guest
house to collect the rent from
Oyoshi. I'd be lying if I said I
didn't look forward to our little
exchanges.

Eiji knocks on the front door a few times and steps back. The
door opens, and Oyoshi is standing there wearing a brightly
colored yukata. The with the money for the rent is already in
her hand. Eiji bows to her slightly.

OYOSHI
Hello Eiji. It's good to see you.

EIJI
It's good to see you too, Miss
Takahashi.

OYOSHI
Please, formalities aren't
necessary. Call me Oyoshi.

Oyoshi hands over the rent money, which Eiji accepts.

EIJI
Thank you, Oyoshi.

OYOSHI
You know, I'd love it if you came
to visit me more often. Kumiai only
comes on Sundays, and he's so old
and boring...

EIJI
I'll make it a point to come some
time.

OYOSHI
Good, I look forward to it.

Oyoshi smiles again, then turns away and goes back inside.
Eiji exhales, releasing a breath he had been holding the
whole time.

CUT TO:



INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Eiji is sitting on his knees at a small table. Several pieces
of paper are spread out across the table, and he appears to
be doing some form of arithmetic.

EIJI (V.O.)
I thought about her all the time,
to the point that it stopped me
from being able to focus on the
other things in my life.

Eiji gets frustrated with a problem, angrily scratching out a
mistake and dropping his fountain pen. He sighs to himself
and looks out the window: across the lawn, the light shines
from Oyoshi's WINDOW in the guest house.

CUT TO:



INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Eiji, his father, MOTHER, and younger SISTER, are all
kneeling around a table for dinner. They eat in silence for a
while, until Eiji's father looks up.

FATHER
Eiji, your teacher has informed
that your grades have been slipping
over the past few weeks. Do you
have an explanation?

Eiji says nothing, and after a moment he simply shakes his
head.

FATHER (CONT'D)
This is unacceptable. You used to
be the top in your class! I don't
pay for you to go to school to joke
around, you know.

EIJI
I'm sorry. I will try harder, I
promise.

FATHER
I hope so.

Eiji's father drains a cup of tea. His MOTHER looks up from
her bowl of rice.

MOTHER
(to Eiji)
I noticed you've been talking with
Oyoshi quite a lot.

EIJI
She is lonely, and asked me to keep
her company.

SISTER
(smirking)
Eiji has a crush on Oyoshi!

EIJI
I do not!

MOTHER
Just be careful Eiji. Women like
Oyoshi, they can be dangerous.
Especially when they're connected
with men like the chief judge.

EIJI
Don't worry mother. She's only a
friend.

Eiji shoots a glare at his little sister, who grins at him
mischievously.

CUT TO:



EXT. GUEST HOUSE - DAY

Eiji is standing out front of the guest house. He takes a
deep breath, then knocks on the door.

OYOSHI (O.S.)
Come on in, Eiji!

Eiji opens the door and sees Oyoshi kneeling down by a table
towards the back of the house. She's holding a pair of
chopsticks in her hand.

OYOSHI
I was just having some lunch.
(pause)
Come now, don't just stand there!
Sit down with me.

CUT TO:



INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Eiji and Oyoshi are sitting together. On the table beside
them are an assortment of toasted rice cakes.

OYOSHI
So Eiji, how old are you?

EIJI
Why do you ask?

OYOSHI
It doesn't matter, just tell me.

Eiji looks at her suspiciously.

EIJI
I'm fifteen.

OYOSHI
Only fifteen? I would've guessed
you were older.

She reaches over and picks up one of the rice cakes.

OYOSHI (CONT'D)
Now, open your mouth...

Oyoshi smiles as she pops one of the rice cakes into Eiji's
mouth with her dainty fingers. Eiji chews the food quickly.
He's clearly on edge.

OYOSHI (CONT'D)
Do you like me, Eiji?

Eiji waits for a moment, still chewing the food, then nods.

OYOSHI (CONT'D)
I thought so. You're very cute, you
know. For a kid.

This seems to make Eiji angry.

EIJI
I'm not a kid!

OYOSHI
Oh no? Forgive me, it's just I'm so
used to being around the chief
judge, you see.

EIJI
Are you two going to get married?

OYOSHI
No, unfortunately not. Kumiai
already has a wife, and a daughter
too. And she's older than I am!

EIJI
That's a funny thing to do, isn't
it? I mean, to have a mistress
younger than your own daughter?

OYOSHI
Funny? I call it ridiculous. But I
can't complain
(pause)
Can I tell you a secret, Eiji?

EIJI
Of course.

OYOSHI
Promise not to tell anyone?

EIJI
I promise.

Oyoshi leans towards Eiji, putting her lips so close to his
ear that they're nearly touching.

OYOSHI
(whispering)
I don't actually like Kumiai at
all, I'm only with him to get away
from home.

She stays leaning towards Eiji, holding the moment, then
backs away. Eiji clear his throat before talking.

EIJI
Well, why don't you leave him and
run away somewhere on your own?

OYOSHI
I don't have any money of my own or
I would, trust me.

EIJI
Find someone to go with you,
someone with money.

OYOSHI
You mean someone like you?

Eiji looks down in shame.

EIJI
I wish I could, but unfortunately I
too lack money of my own. I wish I
could get away from here. I'm tired
of this life. And of school.
Everything's so boring.

Oyoshi smiles, looking at Eiji with interest.

OYOSHI
Perhaps one day you will.

CUT TO:



EXT. COURTYARD - DAY

Eiji is standing with his father and sister, watching Oyoshi
go down the road on a RICKSHAW with Kumiai.

EIJI (V.O.)
At the end of the summer, Oyoshi
left and went to live with the
chief judge in Osaka.

Oyoshi looks at Eiji over the side of the rickshaw, with her
long black hair blowing in the wind.

EIJI (CONT'D)
Before she left, she said she'd
write to me as soon they arrived in
Osaka.
(pause)
I waited for almost three months
before a letter came, and when it
finally did, there was no address
on it.

As Eiji watches the rickshaw go down the road, he sees a
LOTUS FLOWER fly out from Oyoshi's hair. The flower is
carried off by the wind, circling round and round until it
lands near Eiji. He walks over and picks it up.

CLOSE-UP

of lotus flower.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
That was when I decided to go Osaka
and find her.

CUT TO:



INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Eiji's father is drinking a cup of saké by the window. Eiji
is kneeling before him.

EIJI
I ask permission to go to Osaka to
work.

FATHER
Osaka? This is a rather sudden
decision, Eiji. May I ask why?

EIJI
I'm already failing my grade, and I
find myself unmotivated to do
better. I've grown tired of
Utsunomiya. I wish to go out in the
world and make money for myself.

Eiji's father is silent for a moment as he considers Eiji's
proposal.

FATHER
Well, I see no reason why I
shouldn't allow you. It will be
good for you to support yourself
for a while and deal with some real
responsibility.
(pause)
However, if you do go, then tough
as things get, don't come back here
complaining. Understand?

EIJI
I understand, and thank you for
allowing me to go.

Eiji's father nods graciously and finishes his saké.

FATHER
Your uncle Akira owns a coal depot
in Fukagawa.
I'm sure he will have some work for
you to get started with.

CUT TO:



INT. TRAIN - DAY

Eiji is sitting by the window in the passenger car of a
train. He watches as the cityscape of Osaka becomes visible
on the horizon. The buildings are still quite small,
especially in comparison to the giant smokestacks from the
industrial parks in the distance.

EIJI (V.O.)
I had been to Osaka once before
when I was eight, but even since
then the city had grown
substantially.

Near one of the harbors along the Onagi river sits the
NAKAGAWA COAL DEPOT. There's a small building nestled in the
corner of the lot, with giant mounds of coal sprinkled all
around it. The mounds are taller than most of the buildings
in the area.

SUPERIMPOSE - TOKYO, 1916

CUT TO:



INT. OFFICE - DAY

Eiji's uncle AKIRA (53) is sitting behind a large mahogany
desk. He's small and imposing, and is dressed in a black
suit. A sign of western influence. Eiji stands before him,
looking down.

AKIRA
Well Eiji, I certainly have a lot
for you to do here. But I warn you,
you'll be working hard and I can be
a tough boss, so I'll accept
nothing less than your best effort.

EIJI
I understand, Uncle. Trust me, I
didn't come all the way here to
slack off.

Akira makes a sound somewhere between a grunt and a chuckle.

AKIRA
I'm sure you didn't. If you're
anything like your father, then you
should be a hard worker. Why, when
he was your age, he was moving over
a hundred pounds per trip!

EIJI
(surprised)
Did he really do that?

AKIRA
Oh yes. Quite the man your father
was.
(pause)
Not like me. I was always the
brains of the family!

Akira bursts out laughing in an obnoxious, phony sort of way.
Eiji forces himself to laugh as well.

AKIRA (CONT'D)
Anyway, I've set you up to stay
with a friend of a mine. He's and
old fellow, and quite lonely. I'm
sure he'll enjoy your company.

EIJI
What's his name?

AKIRA
Tokuzo Haruki. He lives just down
the road, in the old shack with the
bonsai maple out front.
(pause)
He will be expecting you.

CUT TO:


EXT. TOKYO STREET - DAY

Eiji stands in front of a small, worn down SHACK, with a
leather bag hanging over his shoulder. Just as his uncle
Akira said, there's a tiny bonsai maple growing in the yard.

As Eiji approaches the front door, the sound of Okinawan folk
music can be heard coming from inside the house. Eiji knocks
on the door once, causing it to open ajar slightly.
Cautiously, he enters.

CUT TO:



INT. TOKUZO'S HOUSE - DAY

The inside of the shack is tiny and just as beaten up as the
outside. It's sparsely furnished, though the walls are
adorned with an assortment of old photographs and paintings.

Eiji also notices a small stand holding two swords: a katana
and a wakizashi. Both weapons are handmade and appear to be
very old.

At the far side of the house, TOKUZO HARUKI (67) is hunched
over a table with his back to Eiji, chopping up fish with a
cleaver. Next to him, a gramophone is playing music loudly.

EIJI
(yelling)
Mr. Haruki!

Tokuzo continues to chop the fish; he doesn't seem to have
heard Eiji.

EIJI (CONT'D)
(yelling)
Hello? Mr. Haruki!

Yet again, the old man is oblivious to Eiji's presence. Eiji
moves a bit closer to him.

EIJI (CONT'D)
(yelling louder)
Mr. Haruki!

Suddenly, Tokuzo spins his body around with a speed that
defies his age. In a flash he HURLS the cleaver straight at
Eiji, who just manages to duck in time. The cleaver sinks
itself several inches into the front door (a good twelve feet
away).

TOKUZO
(angrily)
Who are you?

EIJI
I'm Ijichi Eiji, my uncle Akira
sent me here to stay!

Tokuzo looks at Eiji very intently. Neither of them speak,
but the Okinawan folk music continues to play. Finally,
Tokuzo's face splits into a grin.

TOKUZO
(laughing)
Forgive me, I was simply expecting
someone much younger!

He reaches over to turn the music down. Eiji still looks
slightly shaken.

TOKUZO (CONT'D)
I don't often get visitors, you
see. Let alone a house guest!

Tokuzo's grin grows even wider. He seems to be genuinely
pleased with Eiji's arrival.

EIJI
I can't thank you enough for
allowing me to stay at your home,
Mr. Haruki. And I promise not be a
nuisance.

TOKUZO
Ah, call me Tokuzo. And trust me,
if anything, it will be I that is a
nuisance to you.

Tokuzo chuckles, then looks to Eiji's leather bag.

TOKUZO (CONT'D)
Come, come, let me show you to your
room.

CUT TO:



INT. EIJI'S ROOM - DAY

The door to Eiji's room flies open, with Tokuzo and Eiji
looking in. To say the room is small would be an
understatement. Almost the entirety of the floor space is
taken up by a tiny mattress and a small bedside table. The
only light comes from a dirty window above the bed.

TOKUZO
It's small, I know. If you'd like,
we could move the mattress into the
front area.

EIJI
No, no, this is just fine. I'll
only be sleeping in here, after
all.

TOKUZO
(nodding)
Well then, I'll leave you to unpack
your things.

Tokuzo pats Eiji on the shoulder, then goes back to chopping
up the fish. Eiji closes the door gently and sits down onto
his bed. The Okinawan folk music begins to play again.

Eiji reaches into his leather sack begins removing items;
clothes, shoes, a book, a pocketwatch, several hundred yen,
and small piece of folded up silk. Eiji unfolds the cloth to
reveal the LOTUS FLOWER from Oyoshi's hair, though by now it
has wilted slightly. Eiji looks at it with a determined look
in eyes.

CUT TO:



EXT. COAL DEPOT STORAGE YARD - DAY

EIJI (V.O.)
When my uncle said that I'd be
working, he sure wasn't kidding.

The storage yard is crawling with WORKERS of all ages. The
majority of them are carrying armfuls of coal from the giant
piles and loading them onto a large wagon.

Amongst them, Eiji is struggling to handle a load less than
half the size of what the other workers are carrying.

EIJI (CONT'D)
At first I was working with the
other labourers, moving loads of
coal from one place to another. But
I was slow, and couldn't carry a
whole lot.

Eiji's grip in the coal slips, and he drops most of the load
onto his feet. One of the other workers, a bald man named
WATANABE, laughs at Eiji.

WATANABE
Smooth move there, kid!

Eiji shoots a glare at him, but says nothing.

EIJI (V.O.)
Before long, uncle Akira realized I
was only losing him money. And so
he gave me a different job.

CUT TO:



EXT. COAL DEPOT STORAGE YARD - DAY

Eiji is leaning against a coal filled wagon with a clipboard
in his hand and a pile of short BAMBOO STICKS by his side.

EIJI (V.O.)
When the workers would drop off a
load , they'd hand me a bamboo
stick called a mambo. Then I'd
write a line by their names on the
sheet.

One of the WORKERS drops his load of coal into the wagon and
pulls a mambo from his waistband. He tosses it to Eiji, whom
catches it places it down next to other ones.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
The point of this was to keep a
record of how much coal each man
moved. This way, my uncle would be
able to tell how much money he was
making per worker.
(pause)
I was basically responsible for
deciding if a worker was being
efficient or not. Because of this,
I earned a little more respect from
the older man.

Another worker drops off a load of coal; this time, it's
younger man with handsome, chiseled features and a
brilliantly BLUE EYES.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
One of the workers that seemed to
especially like me was this guy
named Shinoda Kenkichi. People
called him "Angel-Eyes".

Kenkichi hands his mambo to Eiji and smirks.

KENKICHI
Don't work yourself to hard there,
Eiji. You might hurt your hand from
all that writing.

EIJI
Very funny. You better watch
yourself or I'll mark you down as
incompetent.

The two of them chuckle together before Kenkichi heads off to
get another load.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Maybe it was because he was only
three years older than man, or
maybe it was just fate, but
Kenkichi and I really became
friends.

CUT TO:



INT. TOKUZO'S HOME - NIGHT

Eiji and Tokuzo are kneeling at a table together, eating rice
and sukiyaki.

TOKUZO
So, how do you like it?

EIJI
It's delicious. You're quite the
chef!

TOKUZO
(grinning)
Yes, I once owned a sushi bar back
in Okinawa. I went through four
different chefs before I decided
just to do it myself!
(pause)
It took awhile to get good, but I
taught myself.

EIJI
Well then, you're certainly a good
teacher.

After Eiji finishes his meal and shifts from kneeling a
position and sits Indian style. He pats his stomach. Tokuzo
continues to eat slowly.

As Eiji looks around the room, he studies some of the
photographs posted onto the walls; in particular, one of an
OLDER MAN dressed in traditional samurai armor.

EIJI (CONT'D)
(pointing to photo)
Tokuzo, who's the man in that
picture is?

TOKUZO
Ah, yes, that would be my father.
His name was Mizuno.

EIJI
Was he a samurai?

TOKUZO
Indeed, and one of the last, at
that. Though I suppose he was a
ronin longer than he was a samurai.

EIJI
Ronin?

TOKUZO
A masterless samurai.

Tokuzo takes a large gulp of tea.

TOKUZO (CONT'D)
You see, towards the end of the
last century, as the old ways began
to die out, many samurai ended up
without a master.
(pause)
They became loners, wandering the
countryside, doing what they could
for food and money while still
trying to serve their community.
Many of them became gamblers.

EIJI
They sound like the yakuza to me.

Tokuzo grins at Eiji.

TOKUZO
You're pretty sharp for a kid, you
know that? It's true though, in
many ways, the yakuza are the
modern descendants of the samurai.
After all, they do follow the way
of the warrior.

EIJI
You're talking about Bushido?

TOKUZO
Indeed. Just look at the seven
virtues: honor, respect, courage,
loyalty, benevolence, rectitude,
and honesty. These were the
foundation of the samurai's way of
life, and anyone who calls himself
a true yakuza should follow them as
well.

Tokuzo nods to himself proudly, then goes back to his food.
Eiji sits quietly as he considers these concepts.

CUT TO:



EXT. COAL DEPOT STORAGE YARD - DAY

Eiji is walking around the storage yard. He's alone, and
appears to be looking for something.

EIJI (V.O.)
After few months, I began to notice
that sometimes around midday, all
of the workers would just
disappear. I never paid much
attention to it, until one day I
found out what they we're doing.

As Eiji rounds the corner of a particularly large coal heap,
he spots numerous WORKERS all hunched together in a ring
gambling.

One of the workers spots Eiji, and a look of panic strikes
his face. He jumps up and yells. Many of the workers also
jump up, and several of them start to run away.

Watanabe sees that it's Eiji and laughs.

WATANABE
Relax everybody, relax! It's only
Eiji.

Some of the workers groan, others simply laugh it off.

EIJI
What are you all doing back here?

Watanabe flicks a die into the air and catches it expertly.

WATANABE
We're just having some fun here.
Shove off now, this is no place for
youngsters. And don't go ratting to
your uncle about us...Here, take
this.

Watanabe hands Eiji two sen, and just as the latter is about
to leave, Kenkichi approaches him.

KENKICHI
Eiji, wait a moment. I've got an
idea.

Kenkichi points to the largest nearby coal heap.

KENKICHI (CONT'D)
See that heap there? Why don't you
do us a favor and sit up there
while we play. You know, keep a
look out for anybody coming. What
do you say?

EIJI (V.O.)
I felt like this was my chance to
prove myself to other workers, and
then show them that I wasn't just a
kid, even if I wasn't actually
gambling with them.

EIJI (CONT'D)
Sure, why not?

Eiji begins to climb the heap of coal. It's easily over 30
feet high, and is taller than the majority of the buildings
in the area.

KENKICHI
Oh, and Eiji, if you see anyone
coming, don't yell. Just toss a
piece of a coal down to us.

EIJI
What if I accidentally hit someone?

KENKICHI
Don't worry about it, okay?

CUT TO:



EXT. COAL DEPOT STORAGE YARD - DAY (LATER)

Eiji is sitting a top the heap of coal, looking rather bored.
He peaks down below, watching the works laugh and joke as
they gamble. He sighs to himself, then turns back to keeping
watch.

As Eiji sits there waiting, his eyelids begin to droop. Just
as he's about to drift into sleep, he spots his UNCLE coming
around the side of a pile of coal. With him is an older
looking MAN wearing a kimono.

Eiji quickly grabs a rather large piece of coal and hurls
down towards the men. Unfortunately, his aim was off, and the
lump of coal crack Watanabe right on the head.

WATANABE
Ow-!

One of the WORKERS puts his hand over Watanabe's mouth,
muffling the involuntary yell, and instantly all of the men
scram in different directions.

Eiji tries to climb down the pile of coal as quickly as he
can, but he loses his footing and tumbles the rest of the
way. He lands hard onto the ground, but manages to stand just
his uncle rounds the corner.

AKIRA
Eiji! What are you doing out here
all alone?

Eiji, dirty and bruised, stumbles for answer.

EIJI
I, uh, I was just...

AKIRA
Never mind that! Come, there's
someone I want you to meet.

Eiji limps slowly toward Akira and his companion.

AKIRA (CONT'D)
This is Murumatsu Katashi. He's a
business associate of mine, and a
member of the Dewaya clan. I was
just showing him around the
property.

MURUMATSU (40) is well-built and sturdy looking. He has a
wise but imposing aura about him.

EIJI
(bowing)
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Murumatsu.

MURUMATSU
I've heard many things about you
from your uncle. He says you're
quite the hard worker.

AKIRA
It's true! Eiji hasn't disappointed
me yet.

EIJI
I try my best.

MURUMATSU
Then what more can you ask for,
right?

Murumatsu looks Eiji up and down, the nods to himself.

MURUMATSU (CONT'D)
You know Eiji, you've got the look
of a gambler. Have you ever
considered joining the yakuza?

Eiji's face goes blank. He never even considered such a
thing.

EIJI
Well, I-

AKIRA
Eiji? A yakuza?
(laughing)
I'm afraid not, gambling isn't in
the Ijichi family blood. I learned
that the hard way!

Murumatsu grins at Eiji.

MURUMATSU
Hm, perhaps I was mistaken. My
senses aren't what they used to be.
The result of too much sake, I dare
say.

AKIRA
Hah! Catches up to us all someday,
doesn't it?
(pause)
Well, we best let Eiji get back to
work.

Eiji bows again to Murumatsu.

EIJI
It was nice meeting you.

MURUMATSU
(bowing)
And the same to you. I look forward
to us meeting again someday.

As Murumatsu follows Akira to leave, he gives Eiji a strange,
almost knowing nod, then turns and walks away.

EIJI (V.O.)
Indeed, Murumatsu and I would be
meeting sooner than I think either
of us expected.

CUT TO:


EXT. DOWNTOWN TOKYO - DAY

Eiji and Kenkichi are walking down the road together. The
area of Tokyo they're in is old and clearly impoverished.

EIJI (V.O.)
In return for helping the other
workers hide their gambling,
Kenkichi took me to the red-light
district for a little fun.

As they walk down the road, Kenkichi stops peers down small
alleyway.

KENKICHI
This is it.

Eiji follows his friend down the alley, which leads to a
small tea-house. A fair number of tattered little shacks are
lined up so close together they're practically touching. Eiji
and Kenkichi enter the tea-house.

CUT TO:



INT. TEA-HOUSE - DAY

The inside of the tea-house is dingy and claustrophobic.
Aside from an ELDERLY MAN behind a counter, the place is
empty.

ELDERLY MAN
Back again Kenkichi? Don't you have
anything else to do?

KENKICHI
Hey, I don't come here that often!
Besides, it's not for me today
anyway.
(gesturing to Eiji)
It's for him.

The elderly man looks Eiji up and down suspiciously.

ELDERLY MAN
Is he trustworthy?

KENKICHI
Of course he is! Do you think I'd
bring him here if he wasn't? Don't
be rude. It's his first time as it
is.

Eiji shoots a glare at Kenkichi, whom simply grins.

ELDERLY MAN
Oh it is then? In that case, I've
got the perfect woman for you.

CUT TO:



EXT. ALLEYWAY NEAR TEA-HOUSE - DAY

Eiji follows the elderly man down the alley, past several of
the old shacks, until he stops at one begins knocking loudly.

ELDERLY MAN
Hey, Machiko! I've got a customer
for you!

MACHIKO (O.S.)
(muffled)
Send him in!



INT. SHACK - DAY

The elderly man swings the door open, revealing an almost
entirely empty interior. The only thing there is a white
quilt spread over the tatami, on which MACHIKO (23) is
sitting. The girl has pale skin and her hair is messy, but is
still attractive none the less.

MACHIKO
My, he's a young one isn't he? What
a nice surprise!

Eiji grins slightly, looking embarrassed.

ELDERLY MAN
Well, I'll leave him to you now.
But don't go thinking it's all
right to tire yourself out for the
rest of the day just because he's
young.

MACHIKO
Oh, get out of here. You talk too
much!

The elderly man turns and shuts the door, leaving Eiji alone
with Machiko. The woman looks at him for moment, then pats
the ground next to her.

MACHIKO (CONT'D)
Come, sit down here. How old are
you?

EIJI
Sixteen.

MACHIKO
Oh, you are young!

Eiji sits down next to Machiko. He obviously feels awkward.

MACHIKO (CONT'D)
You've never done this before, have
you?

Eiji shakes his head. Machiko smirks, then begins kissing him
feverishly. She pushes him down onto his and straddles his
waist. Eiji watches in slight shock as she undoes her sash,
revealing her naked, perfectly curved body.

MACHIKO (CONT'D)
Read to have fun?

CUT TO:



INT. SHACK - DAY (LATER)

Eiji and Machiko move in unison with each other under the
sheets. Eiji is breathing heavily, and Machiko moans with
pleasure. Suddenly, the mood is interrupted by someone
knocking on the door loudly.

MACHIKO
Ignore it...

The two of them continue, but before long the knocking starts
again, this time even louder.

MACHIKO (CONT'D)
(yelling)
Okay, okay, I can hear you!

ELDERLY MAN (O.S.)
You've had exactly thirty minutes!

MACHIKO
(yelling)
So what?

ELDERLY MAN
So you've got another customer! Can
I open the door?

MACHIKO
(yelling)
No you cannot! Who's the customer?
Is he a regular?

ELDERLY MAN
No, it's the gentleman's first time
here.

MACHIKO
(yelling)
Well what about me? I'm human too!
Why can't I take my time with a
decent looking man once in a while?
Tell him to wait!

ELDERLY MAN
The gentlemen is standing with me
here right now.

MACHIKO
What d'you take me for, huh? How
many customers am I supposed to do
in one day?

EIJI
Uhm, maybe I should go...

MACHIKO
Oh no you don't!

Machiko wraps her body tightly around Eiji's.

MACHIKO (CONT'D)
(yelling to the elderly
man)
Have him go wait by the tea-house,
will you? We'll only be a bit
longer.

ELDERLY MAN
How long?

MACHIKO
A half hour.

ELDERLY MAN
A half hour? Do you think he can
wait that long?

Machiko rolls her eyes.

MACHIKO
You can tell him that if he doesn't
want to wait, then he can just go
fuck himself instead!

They wait for a moment, until they can hear the mens'
footsteps leading away from the shack.

MACHIKO (CONT'D)
Finally! Sorry about that, he can
be real pain the ass sometimes.
Now, where were we...

CUT TO:



EXT. STREET OUTSIDE OF TEA-HOUSE - DAY

As Eiji emerges from the alleyway, looking slightly dazed, he
spots Kenkichi leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette.
Kenkichi sees him and grins.

KENKICHI
Damn, it's about time! No woman
there has ever spent that much time
with me. She must've really took a
liking to you, eh?

EIJI
Yeah, I think she did actually. Not
sure why...

KENKICHI
Hey, don't be modest. It won't get
you anywhere.
(pause)
Anyway, I've got to be going. I
just wanted to make sure you got
alright, and also to ask you
something.

EIJI
What's that?

Kenkichi looks around them, making sure no one is nearby.

KENKICHI
(lowering his voice)
Listen, have you ever considered
being a gambler?

EIJI
No, but people seem to keep asking
me that for some reason...

KENKICHI
Listen, I've been working on a
midnight boat for the last few
weeks-

EIJI
A midnight boat?

KENKICHI
Yeah, you know, boats where people
gamble at night...you have heard of
a midnight boat, haven't you?

EIJI
Yeah, of course...I just...

KENKICHI
Well, anyway, I've been doing some
work there for awhile now, and I'm
about to start full time. I'll be
quitting my job with your uncle by
tomorrow, most likely.

EIJI
Quitting? You can't quit! You're
the only guy there that even talks
to me!

KENKICHI
Listen! The guy who runs it, his
name is Murumatsu. He knows your
uncle. He says you two have even
met once before.

EIJI
Yes, I remember.

KENKICHI
Well, I've put in a good word for
you, and I think he'll give you a
chance there. Are you interested?

EIJI
I don't...I don't know...

KENKICHI
Alright, well, if you decide you
want to, be in front of the Tomioka
Fudo shrine at eight o'clock this
evening. Now, I've got to get
going.

Kenkichi turns and begins walking away.

EIJI
Hey, Kenkichi! Thanks for...
(jerking head towards
alley)
You know.

KENKICHI
No problem!

Eiji watches him leave, then turns and looks around; first at
the sky, then the city around him, then at his own hands.
They're covered in scratches and blisters, all calloused and
dirty from working at the coal depot.

EIJI
I knew that I didn't really want to
work at my uncles coal depot, and
for whatever reason, the life of a
gambler seemed to keep calling me.
Thus, I found my decision to the be
easy one.

CUT TO:



EXT. TOMIOKA FUDO SHRINE - NIGHT

Eiji is standing in front of the shrine, looking all around
him somewhat nervously. It's dark, and there doesn't seem to
be anyone around, until...

VOICE (O.C.)
(whispering)
Psst! Hey, over here.

Eiji turns his head in the direction of the voice and sees a
small ginko tree, behind which a MAN is half-hidden. He peers
around the tree and looks at Eiji.

MAN
Are you Eiji?

EIJI
I...yeah, I am. Who are you?

MAN
Kenkichi sent me here to get you.
Quick, follow me.

The man turns and begins walking away fairly quickly. Eiji
has to jog to keep up with him, and to ensure that he doesn't
disappear in the darkness. Before long they come to a canal,
where a small rowboat is floating almost motionlessly. If it
wasn't for Kenkichi waiting there, it would practically have
been invisible.

KENKICHI
So, you decided to come, did you?
You made the right choice. Come on
aboard.

The man that lead Eiji there jumps down into the boat. Eiji,
however, hesitates.

EIJI
This boat is pitch-dark!

KENKICHI
Of course it is, how else do you
think we'd do business? Come along
now, don't be a woman about it.

Eiji jumps down, making the boat rock slightly. Kenkichi sits
him down next the cargo.

KENKICHI (CONT'D)
Keep it down now, we don't want
ourselves getting caught.

Kenkichi and the other man begin rowing the boat out into the
darkness. Eiji sits there quietly, watching. The only noise
is from the paddles moving through the water.

There are countless other boats on the canal, most of them
lit up with a lanterns, though a few have electrical
lighting. Kenkichi and his coworker begin to move their
rowboat towards one of them: a reasonably small and dimly lit
barge.

KENKICHI (CONT'D)
This is it here.

The rowboat taps the side of the barge gently, and the three
men climb aboard.

CUT TO:
Last edited by Francis Michael Buck on Sun Dec 07, 2008 8:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Believe nothing, no matter where you've read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
-Buddha




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INT. BARGE CABIN - NIGHT

The inner-cabin of the barge has been rebuilt to accommodate
it's purpose; several circular tables have been set up, all
of which are occupied by a diverse assortment of people
gambling. There are a couple lanterns hanging from the
ceiling, which, combined with a light haze of tobacco,
creates a strangely cozy atmosphere. It's also extremely
quiet.

EIJI (V.O.)
Places like that, they weren't they
are in movies, all loud and rowdy.
When people went there, they kept
and quiet and just played. It was
illegal after all, and mostly
everyone there was pretty serious
about gambling.

Kenkichi turns and looks at Eiji.

KENKICHI
Well, what do you think?

EIJI
It's...brilliant.

Kenkichi smiles.

KENKICHI
I thought you'd think so. Come on,
you'd better say hello to the boss.

CUT TO:



INT. MURUMATSU'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Eiji follows Kenkichi through a door at the back of the main
cabin, which leads into a small room. There's little there
aside from a few chairs and a desk, behind which Boss
Murumatsu is sitting smoking a pipe; it's clear that he
probably doesn't spend a huge amount of time there.

MURUMATSU
Ah, Eiji, so you've decided to come
visit my little establishment. I'm
glad. Here, take a seat.
(to Kenkichi)
You may leave us.

A somewhat displeased look passes over Kenkichi's face, but
nonetheless he bows and backs out of the room, closing the
door behind him. Murumatsu begins pouring tea into a cup.

MURUMATSU (CONT'D)
Can I offer you some tea?

EIJI
Yes, thank you.

Murumatsu passes the cup to Eiji and watches him take a sip
before continuing.

MURUMATSU
So, may I ask, what made you decide
to come here?

EIJI
Well, the truth is, I can't see my
job at the coal depot going
anywhere really, and after all, I
came to Tokyo to be successful.

MURUMATSU
Indeed, manual labour is often a
dead-end business. I know this from
personal experience.

EIJI
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful
for the work my uncle has given me,
but...

MURUMATSU
But he doesn't understand that you
have other ambitions?

EIJI
Exactly.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
It was like he could my mind.

MURUMATSU
Well Eiji, I can assure you that
working here is far from dead-end.
There's always money to be made
from gambling, not to mention all
the different kinds of people you
can meet.
(pause)
Are you familiar with gambling at
all?

EIJI
Well, that's the thing. I'm not
really sure what there is I've got
to offer you...

MURUMATSU
Ambition! That's what you've got.
You said it yourself. Anybody can
learn to gamble, but the desire for
more, that's what makes someone
successful. Besides, everyone has
to learn sometime.

EIJI
But what would I be doing here?

MURUMATSU
Well, for a while you'd just do odd
jobs around the barge, cleaning,
maintenance, etcetera. More
importantly though, you'd be
watching. Watching and learning.
Then, once you're familiar with how
we do things around here, I'll let
you move on to running your own
table.

Eiji nods, thinking over the proposal that has been given to
him.

EIJI (V.O.)
It was a big step to take for me.
By accepting Murumatsu's offer, it
meant that I would automatically
became a criminal. However, it also
meant that I would be opening a
door to a whole other world, a
world full of both money and,
potentially, respect. What else
could I have asked for?

MURUMATSU
There's no need to answer now. If
you need time to think it over-

EIJI
No, I don't need any time. I'd love
to work here, and I'd like to start
as soon possible.

MURUMATSU
(happily)
Excellent! You've made a wise
decision, Eiji, and you'll be
seeing the benefits of that
decision before you know it.

CUT TO:


INT. BARGE CABIN - NIGHT

EIJI (V.O.)
For the first few weeks that I
worked on Murumatsu's midnight
boat, I only did menial tasks like
clean the floors, set up the
tables, serve drinks to the
clients, things like that. But
whole time, I was watching. And
learning.

As Eiji is mopping the floor in one corner of the room, he
gazes over to a nearby table where Kenkichi is leading a game
of dice.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Most of the time, people played
dice. It was sort of the house
specialty for whatever reason.
Anyway, the game was run by a
nakabon, or a bookie.

KENKICHI
Evens, odds...right, place your
bets then.

Everyone around the table is quiet. Clearly, the game has
become rather intense. One of the MEN makes a move.

KENKICHI (CONT'D)
No more odds, no more odds. Evens
still to go.

EIJI (V.O.)
What this meant was that all the
odds were covered, with no further
bets begin taken there. Until
someone bet one even, the game
couldn't move along.

KENKICHI
Anyone for evens? No dice until
there's a bet, folks.

EIJI (V.O.)
Normally, people follow their
hunches on the dice will roll, but
when the game gets held up, someone
usually gives in just to keep
things moving.

One of the PLAYERS sighs to himself as makes a move that he
obviously doesn't like.

EIJI (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Then, when the chips are out...

KENKICHI
Okay, odds and evens are covered.
Here we go.

Another one of the players takes the dice up, hesitates for
an instant, then flips it over onto a red cloth.

EIJI (V.O.)
The moment that cup slams onto the
table...that's the best part of the
whole thing. The pay off.

The WINNING PLAYER stands up and punches the air
enthusiastically.

WINNING PLAYER
Yes! I'm on a roll this evening,
boys!

KENKICHI
You're always on a roll, Saga.

One of the LOSING PLAYERS looks rather upset.

LOSING PLAYER
Goddamn, I haven't won single game
all night! I'm not sure how much
more my wallet can take...

Eiji spots Murumatsu watching the distressed player. He walks
up to him places a hand on his shoulder.

MURUMATSU
Look sir, you don't seem to be in
luck this evening. Why don't you
call it a day?

Murumatsu reaches into his kimono and pulls out a few yen,
which he discreetly passes to the man.

MURUMATSU (CONT'D)
Here's a little something for you
to get home with. On the house.

The man looks up to Murumatsu like he's an angel.

EIJI (V.O.)
That was another common
misconception about gambling; you
never saw a guy get thrown out of a
joint for losing his shirt.
Besides, anybody who lost so much
that he was ruined once and for all
wouldn't be coming back. Word would
get around that it was a lousy
spot, and that was bad for
business. But that wasn't
Murumatsu's place. If he knew how
to do anything, it was how to run a
gambling joint.
(pause)
Of course, that doesn't mean there
were never any problems.

Eiji continues sweeping and he notices a suspicious looking
BALD MAN. As the man looks around the room nervously, and we
see a

CLOSE-UP

of him slipping a card out from the inside of his kimono
sleeve. Eiji notices immediately.

EIJI (CONT'D)
(yelling)
Hey! This bastard's cheating!

CHAOS ensues. The bald man makes a break for it, but TWO MEN
from the table jump after him. One of them grabs the back of
his kimono, making him fall over.

Kenkichi rushes over to the scene, but before he can get
there the bald man stands up punches one of the guys holding
onto him. Kenkichi tackles the cheater, and they both go
tumbling into another table. One of the bald man's flailing
fists hits a nearby YOUNGER GIRL in the head, knocking her
over. As Kenkichi and the other men attempt to subdue the
cheater, Eiji bends over and helps the girl up.

EIJI (CONT'D)
Are you okay?

GIRL
(wincing)
Yeah, I'm fine...

EIJI
Here, come with me.

Eiji brings her away from the mob of people just as Murumatsu
comes storming out of his office.

MURUMATSU
(yelling)
What in the hell is going on out
here?

Kenkichi is holding the now bleeding bald man by his collar.

KENKICHI
This bastard was cheating! He
punched one of the customers!

GIRL
He hit me too!

Everybody in the room gets riled up again, yelling and
shouting about what to do with the cheater. Murumatsu looks
furious.

MURUMATSU
(yelling)
Everybody quiet down!

His voice echoes above everyone else's, and the room falls
silent.

MURUMATSU (CONT'D)
(looking around the room)
Do you want us all to get caught,
yelling and screaming like animals?
(to Kenkichi)
Lock this fool down in the storage
room until we dock. I don't want to
see his face here ever again.

Kenkichi and one of the other MEN drag the cheater out of the
room. Everybody else settles down and continues their games.

The girl turns to Eiji and smiles.

GIRL
Thank you.

EIJI
It was nothing.

A OLD MAN with a beard comes limping over to them.

OLD MAN
(to the girl)
Sayuri! Are you okay? I couldn't
find you in the brawl.

SAYURI
Yes, I'm fine papa.

OLD MAN
I knew I shouldn't have taken you
here...

SAYURI
Oh don't be silly, I wanted to
come. Besides, this man here was
kind enough to help me.

The OLD MAN turns to Eiji.

OLD MAN
You did? Well, I thank you very
much then. What's your name?

EIJI
Ijichi Eiji, and like I said to
your daughter, it was nothing. Just
doing my job.

OLD MAN
(confused)
Your job?

Murumatsu approaches them before Eiji can continue.

MURUMATSU
(to Sayuri)
Ma'am, I'm very sorry for what
happened. We do try to keep the
scum out, but every once in awhile
one of them manages to slip in.

SAYURI
It's no big deal, really. He didn't
hit me that hard.

MURUMATSU
Please, take this as a token of my
apology.

Murumatsu holds out a healthy wad of yen.

SAYURI
Oh, that really won't be necessary-

OLD MAN
Ah, Sayuri, don't be rude! Of
course we will accept it. Thank you
very much, Mr. Murumatsu!

The old man bows and takes the yen from Murumatsu. The latter
turns to Eiji.

MURUMATSU
And you did a very good job tonight
Eiji. If it wasn't for you we
would've been running a dirty game
and not even known it!

EIJI
Just doing my job boss.

MURUMATSU
Indeed...Well, I suppose you ought
to help Kamezo with the mess.

EIJI
Right away.
(to old man and Sayuri)
Sorry, got to go.

SAYURI
(calling after Eiji)
Thank you again!

Eiji walks over to KAMEZO (25), who tosses him a mop and
looks rather miserable.

KAMEZO
Bastard just ends up making more
for us, you know?

EIJI
Yeah...

Eiji seems to be paying more attention to Sayuri then
Kamezo...

CUT TO:



EXT. TOKYO STREET - DAWN

Eiji and Kenkichi are stumbling down a deserted street,
laughing and carrying on. The sun is rising, but it's still
rather dark out. Kenkichi takes a large gulp from a bottle of
sake, then passes it to Eiji.

KENKICHI
Now, aren't you glad I got you
working on the boat?

Eiji drinks from the bottle, hiccups, and then hands it back
to Kenkichi.

EIJI
I am truly grateful, Kenkichi. Who
would of thought I'd ever be
gambler?

KENKICHI
Hey now, don't get ahead of
yourself. You're not a gambler yet.

EIJI
I know, I know, but hopefully
someday...

The two young men walk a few more blocks before they find
themselves in front of Tokuzo's house.

EIJI (CONT'D)
Right, this is my place. Thanks for
walking with me, and for the sake.

KENKICHI
Not a problem, that's what friends
are for, right?

Eiji smiles and nods, then begins to stumble across Tokuzo's
yard towards the front door.

KENKICHI (CONT'D)
Hey, Eiji, come here a second...I
wanna let you in on something.

Eiji seems to hesitate for a moment before walking back over
to his friend.

KENKICHI (CONT'D)
Listen, if I tell you this, make
sure you don't say anything to any
of the other guys, alright?

EIJI
Yeah, sure.

KENKICHI
You promise?

EIJI
Of course I do.

KENKICHI
Well, the other day when I was
getting some sugar from the storage
room, I overheard Kamezo and Boss
Murumatsu talking...and it sounds
like they're getting ready to
accept a new member into the
Dewaya.

EIJI
Dewaya?

KENKICHI
Don't you know? That's the Yakuza
gang that runs the midnight boat!
Murumatsu is one of the senior
members. Kamezo is in it too.

EIJI
I see...any idea who are they
accepting?

KENKICHI
Well, I don't anything for sure,
but...I think it might be me.

EIJI
Really?

KENKICHI
Yeah, I mean, I've been working
there longer than anyone other than
Kamezo, and like I said, he's
already in. Plus I'm damn near the
best bookie there. The customers
love me!

EIJI
Well, congratulations my friend!

KENKICHI
Don't congratulate me yet, nothings
official. Though it does seem
pretty likely.
(pause)
And don't worry, once I'm in, I'll
be sure to put in a good word for
you.

EIJI
Oh, that would be great!

KENKICHI
Yeah, it's gonna be good times
ahead for both of us Eiji. Here.

Kenkichi takes a final swig from the bottle of sake before
handing it Eiji.

KENKICHI (CONT'D)
You can kill it, I better be on my
way...if I don't home soon I'll end
up passing out in a gutter!

The two men laugh and then walk opposite ways. Eiji slides
open the front door of Tokuzo's house as quietly as possible.



INT. TOKUZO'S HOUSE - DUSK

Eiji tiptoes over to his bedroom, but before entering,
something catches his eye. Out the window facing the
backyard, Eiji sees Tokuzo slowly swinging a katana in a wide
arc. The sun is rising behind him, and he brings the blade up
then down again, as if attacking some invisible enemy.

Eiji, intrigued by what he is seeing, moves close to the
window for a better look. Tokuzo continues to perform complex
actions with the sword, all done with slowly and
methodically. He appears to be fairly skilled.

EIJI (V.O.)
I was fascinated by it. I had never
actually seen someone using a
katana, at least not properly. He
looked so peaceful, so perfect. I
thought about the news Kenkichi had
give me, and I realized that for
the first time in my life, I felt
truly content.



EXT. TOKUZO'S GARDEN - DAY

The sun beats down mercilessly upon Tokuzo and Eiji, who are
tending to the small garden behind Tokuzo's shack.

They work silently for a while, Eiji digging holes and Tokuzo
watering. The latter has his back to Eiji when he breaks the
silence.

TOKUZO
So, I heard that you've been
working on a midnight boat.

Eiji stops dead, and he looks up at Tokuzo's back.

EIJI
Where did you hear that from?

TOKUZO
I've been around a long time, Eiji,
long enough to make quite a variety
of friendships. I knew you were up
to something, sneaking out almost
every night. But I thought it best
not to interfere.

EIJI
I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it's
just...

TOKUZO
You thought I would be upset?

Eiji nods, looking ashamed.

TOKUZO (CONT'D)
Eiji, I can't stop you from doing
what you want to do. And even so, I
would never be upset with your for
something like working on a
midnight boat. Why, I myself worked
at a gambling joint during my
younger years.

EIJI
You did?

TOKUZO
Indeed...I admit, I wasn't
particularly good at it. Just
didn't have the motivation, I
suppose. But it was certainly fun.

Eiji smiles, looking reassured.

TOKUZO (CONT'D)
I am curious, though, as to what
you intend to do about your job at
the coal depot. You can't work day
and night forever, you know.

EIJI
Yes, I know, that's a bit problem I
have. I love working on the boat,
but I fear that if leave my uncle's
depot, he'll tell my father. And if
my father found I was working at a
gambling joint...I can't imagine
how ashamed he would be.

TOKUZO
(sighs)
Well, I will say only this: if your
father is ashamed of your for
making more money as a gambler then
working a dead end job at the
depot, breaking your back everyday,
then it is he who has the problem,
not you.

Eiji doesn't respond, but merely nods slightly.

TOKUZO (CONT'D)
But the decision is yours, and I
don't want you thinking down on
your father. I'm just saying, this
is your life, not his.

EIJI
No, you're right.
(pause)
Thank you, Tokuzo.

Tokuzo smiles and nods.

TOKUZO
You're very welcome. Now, I'll be
making motsunabe for dinner
tonight, but unfortunately...
(looking down at garden)
...this cabbage isn't quite ready
yet. Would you mind running down to
the market to get some?

EIJI
Of course.

Eiji wipes some sweat from his forehead and brushes the dirt
of off his kimono. As he heads out of the garden, he stops
and turns to Tokuzo.

EIJI (CONT'D)
Tokuzo, may I ask you a question?

TOKUZO
Of course, anything.

EIJI
Who did you learn I was working on
the midnight boat from?

TOKUZO
His name is Ito Chiyokickhi. He is
the leader of the Dewaya, the very
same gang that you are working for.

EIJI
You mean, he actually knew who I
was?

TOKUZO
(smiling)
Oh yes, it seems that a certain
Murumatsu Katashi has been speaking
very highly of you.

Eiji grins, then nods to Tokuzo and leaves the garden.

CUT TO:


EXT. VEGETABLE MARKET - DAY

The street is bustling with people all going about their
separate ways. Eiji weaves in an out of the crowd until he
comes to a small stand loaded with an assortment of different
fruits and vegetables.

He looks around for cabbage, but there doesn't seem to be
any. When he looks up to ask an attendant, he's receives a
shock. It's Sayuri, the girl he helped from the midnight
boat.

EIJI
Hey there!

The girl looks up, and when she realizes who he is he face
lights up.

SAYURI
Oh my, what a surprise! Eiji,
right?

EIJI
That's right. And your Sayuri?

SAYURI
Yes, how did you know?

EIJI
I remembered the man you were with
mentioning it.

SAYURI
Oh yes, you mean my father, Noburo.
You must have a good memory.

EIJI
Ah, only when it pertains to girls
as pretty as you!

Sayuri laughs, and her face blushes slightly.

SAYURI
So...what brings you here?

EIJI
I was looking for some Chinese
cabbage, but I didn't see any.

SAYURI
Oh, we've got some in the back. It
just hasn't made it's way out here
yet. I'll run and get some for you.

Sayuri runs into the back room of the vegetable stand. As
Eiji is waiting, he notices her father NOBURO, shuffling
around some wooden crates a few feet away. When he stands up
hefting a crate, Eiji catches his eye and nods. The old man
gives him a strange, almost disdainful look, then walks down
ah alleyway next to the stand.

Just then, Sayurai returns from the back with a box full of
cabbage heads.

SAYURI (CONT'D)
Here you are, fresh Chinese
cabbage!

Eiji takes the box and puts in under his arm.

EIJI
You know, I don't think your father
likes me very much...

Noburo returns from the alleyway, glances at the Eiji and
Sayuri, then goes into the back of the stand without a word.

SAYURI
Oh, don't take it personally. It's
just because you work for the
Yakuza. He's very paranoid, my
father.

EIJI
You don't have any problem with my
being here, do you?

SAYURI
Of course not? I think that
gambling is fascinating...though
I'm not particularly good at it.

EIJI
No? Well then, maybe I can give you
a few pointers sometime. What do
you say?

Sayuri smiles widely, looking like she just woke up on
Christmas morning.

SAYURI
I think I would like that very
much.

CUT TO:



INT. TOKUZO'S HOUSE - DAY

And thats as far as I got . Haven't done anything since last summer. I pretty much know everything else that happens, it's just I can't get into the mood to finish it since I'm knee-deep in my novel The Garden. The script, in my opinion, is pretty rough and moves way too quickly, but someday I do intend to complete it. Hope you enjoy!
"Believe nothing, no matter where you've read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
-Buddha




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Jeez, no replies at all? Someone comment please! I want to know what other people think of this.
"Believe nothing, no matter where you've read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
-Buddha




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I think the amount of text you've posted is just to intimidating for critiquing. Consider sizing things down. Remember, the recommended word count for any piece of writing here is about 2,000 words. Any more and people lose interest.

-Kylan
"I am beginning to despair
and can see only two choices:
either go crazy or turn holy."

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Yeah I suppose so. It reads quickly because it's a script, but still I guess people aren't interested in investing that much time.
"Believe nothing, no matter where you've read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
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Yeah, there's way too much here. Delete the second post and re-submit it as a separate thread. Even then, is this an entire feature film script? You can't have put the whole thing surely?

In any case, from what I managed to read before losing interest, you have a solid, interesting beginning. One that gradually descends into cliche. I can pretty much see the trajaectory of the story from the beginning - which is good on the one hand, because its indicative of structure and bad on the other because its predictable and can be boring.

Two things I noticed and wanted to mention. The first is about the constant use of 'Cut To' - Shot-types are determined by the director, not the writer and more often than not, they'll be put off by seeing such indications. Allow them to do their job - professional courtesy is important.

Secondly, the nature of the 'Cut To' scenes within the piece are such that they don't even need that direction. All you have to do is end the scene abruptly and start another scene, in another place - the 'Cut To' then, becomes implied and in phrasing the description in certain ways, experienced writers are able to manipulate the way in which the movie will be filmed. Note well.

The other thing I noticed was the pattern of speech - it was very normal, very standard and English. The way in which the Japanese speak, within their language, is very much different to the way that we speak. The various relationships within the piece were not believable because you've written them as you would an english-speaking movie, without thought to the strict cultural forces that bind families into forced, traditional modes of interacting and govern the way men and women behave - are expected to behave.

Without this prior understanding, this becomes nothing but a surface-level imitation of a japanese story. It lacks the full force and substance of the very powerful, traditional Japanese culture that is needed to bring this to life. This is a country that has never been colonised, you understand? Their entire way of life, of living and behaving stretches back thousands of years without interruption. And so, when its not shown to the extent it should be, it becomes very obvious indeed.

Hope this helped,
Cheers
Last edited by Jiggity on Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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This is an intimidating amount to critique...

I started reading, but I got bored, sorry.

But I am impressed. You did your research. You're pretty knowledgeable about Japanese culture. Props for that. I'm not sure how much a yakuza story would fly in Japan, though. People don't even get tatoos because of them. You get kicked out off pools for having tatoos and things like that :)
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Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
— C. Northcote Parkinson