Chapter Four:
At times it seems as if life has reached a point where all you can do is sit and let your thoughts wander. It is during this moment that a person can have some of her greatest thoughts. Or, as it may be, some of her worst.
I was sitting on a rock in front of my house when I experienced one such moment. I would have liked to been able to say that my thoughts had the potential to change the world. I would have liked to been able to say that I would be compared to such minds as those of Aristotle and Confucius.
But, sadly, I could not. The only thoughts running through my mind were ones of William.
Maybe Iris was right. Perhaps I did like William. Was that such a bad thing? Did I really need to be ashamed of my feelings, to deny them as if they would poison my mind if I dwelled upon them for too long? No, I would give these feelings a chance. I would see where they led me, and if that was in an undesirable direction, so be it.
I looked up, and there he was. As if answering some invisible beacon formed by my thoughts, there was William, opening the door to his house. The audible squeak of the hinges echoed in my ears as it swung shut. Admittedly, it was a little disconcerting how he always seemed to show up whenever I was thinking of him.
When he saw me, he smiled and walked over. The setting sun had painted the sky with purples and oranges, and the resulting light spread a faint halo around his face, making him appear almost… Well, there really weren’t any words to describe it.
“Hi, William,” I greeted him as he sat down on another rock next to mine.
“Hi, Cal,” he said. It was the first time that he hadn’t used my full name. The sound of it sent chills up my spine. This whole liking him business was going to take some getting used too. Make that a lot of getting used to.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked me.
“Just thinking,” I responded, my voice wistful. “And what are you doing out here?”
“Apparently, I’m talking to you,” he said. “By the way, your friend the other day… What was that all about?”
I laughed. “She thinks you like me.” Whoa. Where did that come from?
“Oh, does she?” he inquired, his eyebrows shooting up so high that they almost disappeared into his hairline.
I nodded, feeling myself blush.
William chuckled to himself, but didn’t say anything. His face grew pensive, although the corners of his lips twitched into a half-smile.
Finally, I couldn’t take the growing silence any longer. I had to know. “Well, do you?”
“That depends,” he answered slowly.
“On what?” I was completely baffled. Did this guy enjoy messing with my head?
“On whether you like me.”
“Um… I asked you first.”
“But we are on the subject of liking each other.”
“Alright! Fine! Maybe I do like you,” I said begrudgingly. My cheeks warmed, and I was sure that they were bright scarlet.
“Really? Because I like you.”
“Finally, a straight answer from you!” I exclaimed. I had grown a bit exasperated with him and all his mind-games, although his statement filled me with an unexpected wave of joy and relief. Why was it that his approval made me feel so giddy?
“Why?” he said.
“Q,” I stated. “Now mind telling me why we’re discussing letters all of a sudden?”
“No, I mean why do you like me?” A smile tugged at his lips, which he unsuccessfully attempted to keep at bay. I could read his face like an open book; amused by my quirkiness, but still thoughtful, as if he were impatiently awaiting my answer.
“Ah. That you will never know.”
“Why not?” His lower lip stuck out in an absolutely adorable pout, and his eyes grew large and beseeching.
“Because,” I began, trying to keep from smiling at his expression, “that would give me reason to need to know your reasons, which, at the moment, I have no reason to want to know.”
His brow furrowed as he contemplated this. “What?” he demanded.
“Exactly!” I said, with a sly smile. Let me make him wonder. Let me make him squirm a bit.
William smiled back, a smile that surely put my own to shame. I had never realized how good-looking he was, what with his piercing green eyes and his softly tapered ears, showing his elfin nature. And with the setting sun casting a radiant glow on his face, he was truly remarkable. It was getting kind of annoying. I didn’t want to be so abruptly mystified and captivated by his presence.
“So,” he said, dropping the issue, for now. “What exactly were you thinking about before I came along and interrupted?”
“I was thinking about having deep revelations,” I told him.
“You were having a deep revelation about deep revelations?” he queried.
“Well, it was more of an epiphany, actually, but I suppose you can say that.”
“And were you at all thinking of me?”
Good God, how did he do that? Was he a freaking mind reader or something? “Maybe,” I answered and did my best to stay nonchalant.
“You were,” he said.
I sighed. “Look Will, I’ve never been one for the big long speeches, but I will say this. Now that you’re with me, you’re going to have to stay optimistic while expecting the worst. And I should probably warn you beforehand about my insanity. But most importantly, you need to know that I can mess with your head. If you want to get something out of me, don’t push it. If I want to tell you, I will. If I don’t, I won’t. I will keep my secrets, and you keep yours. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t trust you, because I do.”
He nodded. “I understand.”
“I really hope you do.” I shivered as a gust of wind blew my hair around my face.
“You should go inside,” William said. “It’s getting colder.”
“Yeah. Bye.” I stood up and waved goodbye to him before walking reluctantly back to my house.
“So basically, you were right,” I told Iris.
“Yay!” Iris exclaimed. She danced a little jig which involved some bad footwork and jazz hands. Iris lived for being right.
“Well, what difference does it make? So we like each other. Why do you care?”
“Of course I care,” she said. “I mean, you have a boyfriend now, Cal. That’s so great. I’m really happy for you.”
Wow. Iris usually wasn’t happy for people. She was usually just cheerful for the hell of it. Her being all whoop-dee-doo for an actual reason was a rare occurrence.
“What?” she said, noticing my expression. “Can’t I be happy for my best friend?”
“You can. But you’re usually not. It’s just weird.”
Iris laughed. “Too bad. I’m weird, or haven’t you heard?”
“We’re all a little weird, Ire. Some of us just choose not to admit it.”
“That is true,” she said. “And some of us are better at showing it than others. Personally, I think that the people who try to hide it are just weak, pathetic conformists.” She rolled her eyes and scowled. Neither of us liked those people who thought that they were supposedly ‘normal’ and made others feel inferior because of their eccentricities.
“I couldn’t agree more,” I said, nodding solemnly. Conformity was the cloak of the feeble, shrouding them in the shadow of sameness.
