Angel from Above..

**reviews will be appreciated**


as i watched the stars glisten in the sky
i wished there would be someone who
will get them and lay them before my feet...
until now, no one prevailed.

as the sun rises from its hiding place
i wished there would be someone who
will be with me and watch it rise...
until now, no one prevailed.

as the flowers bloom in different colors
i wished there would be someone who
will make them stay forever that way...
until now, no one prevailed.

as the birds softly sing on the trees
i wished there would be someone who
will sing for me in melodious tones...
until now, no one prevailed.

as i sat alone in a peaceful meadow
i wished there would be someone who
will fulfill my dreams and complete my fantasies...
yes, in heaven's name..someone came!

he walked through the meadow towards me
and all the flowers stiffened beautifully
they blossomed with fragrance, colors brightened,
he made them stay forever that way!

he sat by my side, and sang me a song
he sang me his story in a melodious tone
i gazed at his eyes, surprised and speechless,
he was like a bird that sang beautifully for me!

night came and the stars scattered in the sky
he looked up and waved his hands
and the stars fell one by one before me,
i couldn't believe he offered me the stars!

i slept in his arms until morning came
and the first thing i saw when i woke up
was the sun, beautiful in orange and yellow,
i sat up, too stunned to say something!

he embraced me and kissed my forehead
and said in avoice as gentle as a brook,
"i came from heaven and i am sent
to fulfill your dreams and your fantasies."

now i sat under a huge shady tree
with the angel from heaven sitting beside me,
i am happy now, i am at peace because
now, yes now, someone prevailed!..

Oh... so sweet and nice, and cool, and... have I said sweet?
Hey there!
I'm on a review marathon, and I think I have reviewed one of your poems today....
As i said in the other one... the I's are freaking me out! Please capitalize that....
Other than that, I didn't see anything particulary wrong...
Favorite line:

yes, in heaven's name..someone came!

Keep writing!

*No comment*

I'll be very honest.

First of all. " i " should be " I " Do not let this be your downfall...

ALWAYS START WITH A CAPITAL LETTER!

Also, there is a bit of grammar, but not enough. You really need to work on that. Grammar is important in poetry and not a lot of people know it.

as i watched the stars glisten in the sky(Full stop)
i wished there would be someone who(This doesn't really work for me.The 'who' must either start on the next line or you must change the entire sentence)
will get them and lay them before my feet...(Don't like. Loose the ellipse)
until now, no one prevailed.(Rather put an ellipse here.)

as the sun rises from its hiding place
i wished there would be someone who(Same story: Either the next line or change the entire line.)
will be with me and watch it rise...(Loose the ellipse)
until now, no one prevailed.(Maybe add an ellipse here)

as the flowers bloom in different colors
i wished there would be someone who(Same story as in the previous stanza)
will make them stay forever that way...(No ellipse)
until now, no one prevailed.(Ellipse)

as i sat alone in a peaceful meadow
i wished there would be someone who
will fulfill my dreams and complete my fantasies...
yes, in heaven's name..(loose the one full stop)someone came!(Very funny, no offense)

he walked through the meadow towards me
and all the flowers stiffened beautifully
they blossomed with fragrance, colors brightened,
he made them stay forever that way! (A bit 'overdone' Kind of reminds me of this program called "Pushing Daisies")

he sat by my side, and sang me a song(Haha. He's the evolution of how us men should be)
he sang me his story in a melodious tone(Overdoing it.)
i gazed at his eyes, surprised and speechless,(Nice alliteration.)
he was like a bird that sang beautifully for me!

night came and the stars scattered in the sky
he looked up and waved his hands
and the stars fell one by one before me,
i couldn't believe he offered me the stars!(This line...needs a little work. Keep the idea of how she can't believed he offered her the stars, just make another sentence that would fit with it.)

i slept in his arms until morning came
and the first thing i saw when i woke up(Would make it funny if you put an ellipse here)
was the sun, beautiful in orange and yellow,
i sat up, too stunned to say something!(Me too)

he embraced me and kissed my forehead
and said in avoice as gentle as a brook,(The 'avoice' I don't know if that was what you intended)
"i came from heaven and i am sent
to fulfill your dreams and your fantasies."(Okay. Like the idea of that. Really sweet.)

now i sat under a huge shady tree
with the angel from heaven sitting beside me,(Like the rhyming patorn)
i am happy now, i am at peace because
now, yes now, someone prevailed!..(Loose the two dots)

It is okay and it needs a lot of work. Some parts are funny to me, but that's me. I have a very weird. sense of humor. Sorry if I offended you.

Hope this helps.