Monologues--I need help!

wear a shawl?

You crack me up, babe.

Uhm, monologues from the amazing film Illuminata. I finally got around to transcribing them...

Illuminata
Jon Turturro

RACHEL

I can live my life without you! And there’s something more…I can’t stand you! My European tour when I did your plays, all those theatres I told you were full—were not. For the first time on a tour of mine they were not full! Your royalties—I sent you every cent according to full houses. I made up the difference, out of my own pocket! [I should have told you?] Yes! That is what you say, because you have never loved anyone! I couldn’t bear you to think we weren’t selling out! How I’ve loved you! And what a fool I have been!!

RACHEL

I love you. I never stopped. I did nothing except to love you—imperfectly. There is something cruel in every love. My heart has wronged you, and it has wronged you before. It means I am imperfect. Born imperfect, educated imperfectly, molded in my formative years by imperfect hands. And so, expect naught else. But if you look for someone to love you imperfectly, look no further, I am she. If you would still love me, I am she.

ILLUMINATA

What a beautiful love I would like to give you. Loving you…I would like so much for you to like me again. I know I’ve been less than I could be. There are moments when I ask myself if I please you. I am not a young girl, nor an old woman. I have no desire to deceive you—it would be exciting but how long would it last? Whatever I could, I’ve given. Life has shaken my confidence. Everything I have hoped to be has not turned out always as I dreamed. Except for you. I cannot think of life without you. You are my friend, my husband, my life. I hope you can live with this amount of me.