Dance

Hee, I love the theme.

A little more to say about this one, it goes a bit... well i kept tripping over it.

'Woven together in movement's trance.'

I don't like the movement in that. For some reason, I think 'moment's trance' would fit better, oddly.

I like the opening lines, by the way, now, a nit-pick:
Each lie of verse/each truth of song.

Not sure I like it. How about:
Each lie, in verse etc.
Each truth, in song, etc.

It would lend a nicer rhythm to the piece, and ntaurally, rhythm suits the theme well, as I can see you've noticed. It's almost a clapping, a turning, a stamping of the foot of sorts.

The freedom of movement is in the dancer,

Hmm...No. I love what you're SAYING, but not how you say it. It's a bit... 'this is so'. Poetry doesn't suit 'this is so.' Use your whimsy, bring it to life! Perhaps use a metaphor to describe this freedom AS blood? I don't know, something like that.

As for your ending line, I adore it - everything an ending line should be.

Anyway very nice, just I had to nitpick for the sake of a review. Kudos!

Hi i'm ella. I use too many smilies and i watch to much TV

I lov ed this poem: It reads very smooth ly, almo st like a lyric.

There isnt much to describe apart fr om what others have said above, so i'll leave it with "I loved it"

Ella
XOX

I thought your comparison of poetry and dancing was excellent. Dancer's poetry is in movement, not sound. Flow was good, and so was texture. (my word for: the feel of the words went together.) Overall, a good poem to think about.

This was wonderful.The flow of it all was impeccable. I could hardly contain my elation. Great job. You got the feeling that dancers get when they are creating a piece. (Well, that is how I feel when I dance.) Congrats to that. My favorite part is " the blood of life is in the movement. The blood of movement is in the dance." It gave me shivers.Well done!

Ahh! That was so good! I have never once thought about doing a dance poem. Such a great idea. man it seems sometimes I am the only one with writers block LOL! Anywho's about your poem. It was really good! If you ever need a review I am happy to help out!

The blood of life is in the movement,
The blood of movement is in the dance.
Each shift of an eye tells a story,
Woven together in movement's trance.
The story alive with image and verse,
Freedom's own, a dancer's grace.
Each lie of verse is frozen in picture
, Each truth of song a timeless dance.
The freedom of movement is in the dancer,
The dancer's freedom is the blood of life.

This poem was just amazing!!
The rhythm was absolutely perfect!!
I love it, and can totally understand the meaning!!
It was great, thanks for it!!
Keep up the awesome work!!
HAPPY REVIEW DAY!!!!

I loved this poem :] It was really light and descriptive, my only criticism would be that the first stanza is written with alternative rhyme but the rest isn't. I would either do it one way or another or alternate from one to the other to make it work Other than that I really liked it :]

Hello this is a nice poem and by reading it I can understand that dance must mean a lot to the person who is writing it, however there is some things I didn't like.

I don't like the relation of blood to dance .

What do you ean by:

The blood of life is in the movement, The blood of movement is in the dance

The sentence above is quite confusing.

I like this part:

Each shift of an eye tells a story, Woven together in movement's trance.

really beautiful stanza.

i don't like this part:

The freedom of movement is in the dancer, The dancer's freedom is the blood of life

I like the first part of it but to be honest I believe the second part of the phrase does not make sense, that is just me though.

Overall you can see that the poem has been written with emotion however the whole blood and life thing is really what ruined it for me, good luck and sorry if I have been a bit harsh in parts.

Oh-kay. All the bumping was nice for awhile, but this poem is two and a half years old. I'm going to lock it so other, newer works can be commented on. ^^

*Locked*