Saving You

Why am I destined to save you,
When you couldn’t save me,
Wouldn’t save me…
I was drowning but on my own,
Me, I’m pulling you out of the water…
But I had to struggle,
Struggle because you rejected me…

Why am I destined to mourn you,
When you never missed me,
Wouldn’t miss me…
I was crying but on my own,
Me, I’m comforting you,
But I had to scream,
Scream because you left me…

Why am I destined to search for you,
When you never bothered,
Wouldn’t have bothered…
I was losing myself but on my own,
Me, I’m looking everywhere for you,
But I had to give up,
Give up because you’re not here…

MJs_Magic_Pen wrote:Why am I destined to save you,
When you couldn’t save me,
Wouldn’t save me…
I was drowning but on my own,
Me, I’m pulling you out of the water…
But I had to struggle,
Struggle because you rejected me…

Why am I destined to mourn you,
When you never missed me,
Wouldn’t miss me…
I was crying but on my own,
Me, I’m comforting you,
But I had to scream,
Scream because you left me…

Why am I destined to search for you,
When you never bothered,
Wouldn’t have bothered…
I was losing myself but on my own,
Me, I’m looking everywhere for you,
But I had to give up,
Give up because you’re not here…

On another poem, I would've hated the repetition... I would've hated it so much that I would've rambled on and on that it was best to remove it.

But, I like the repetition here. It really adds to the emotion, the questioning... it was well done.

I love how each stanza has a specific point and the fact that what the narrator is doing for the Father contradicts what they really feel inside.

So, no crit here, just a shiny gold star.

Hope to see you again soon!