Colors of Me

Colors of Me


I wake silver in the morning light
shining like the moon.

Turning yellow in a sunny day
warming with the sky.

Gray standing in the shadows
that forever in-between place.

Yet blue when the day is done
and the waning light hides.

I sleep black during never-ending nights
when darkness keeps the stars

But dreaming in every color
living in new lights.

Hum Ho. This is decent. Good work. I don't know. It's a little...well...add some more description! I mean...this could be a great poem. Seriously. But you need to bring it out of it's shell a little. Describe the colors....instead of just blue, it could be a soft blue, or a glistening silver, etc. keep revising!!!

--clue.

you might want to make the poem a bit longer? other than that it was nicely done you could have ended it differently for example


But dreaming in every color
from here to the northern lights..

dunno your choice really.. your poem is beautiful I can see the picture your trying to create its wonderful keep it up!

Cool

This is a great poem! I totally agree with clueless about adding more description. I also wasn't really sure what was going on in the poem. So if you had more words, to describe and mold around with i think it could be awesome!
Keep Writing!

It has the potential to be really awesome -- And no I am not saying its bad, because its really good. I am just saying add some description, like what type of silver, dull metallic, and so on. But great so far!

Hi,
Your poem has so much potential, but why make it so short? It could have so much more! And where is the description?

I wake. Silver in the morning light,
shining like the moon.

Turning yellow in a sunny day
warming with the sky.

Gray standing in the shadows
that forever in-between place.

Yet blue when the day is done
and the waning light hides.

I sleep black during never-ending nights
when darkness keeps the stars

But dreaming in every color
living in new lights.

I can't do much with it, since there is so little. Add a bit more to it and re-post it. I will try then. Its honestly a good beginning but you can do so much more! Add a bit of a story line too it! Right now you are just explaining something to us, try to show use how it feels! Add emotion & detail!

Love,
N

awsome
liked how you put it together, though like they said before it could use more description.
but im not sure if the colors are what need more description. the verses themselves are what need more if u ask me.
i dunno, im confused again. lol its been happening alot lately, i think i need more sleep ...
anyways... very nicely done and keep it up!

samkc423 wrote:Colors of Me


I wake silver in the morning light
shining like the moon.

Turning yellow on a sunny day
warming with the sky.

Gray standing in the shadows
In that forever in-between place.

Yet blue when the day is done
and the waning light hides.

I sleep black during never-ending nights
when darkness keeps the stars

But dreaming in every color
living in new lights.

As you can see, there really wasn't too much I could do to change it. 'Twas a very good poem. Nice job.

wow, i like it, i've written wrote a poem similar to this one