Life on it's Own [one]

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:D:D:D:D I'm super excited to be starting this! It's taken me forever to figure out who to actually start a sequel but once I started, it just flowed! Now, the title's etchy because I have no idea what to call it. So it's 'Life on it's Own' for right now but I just know I'll change it sooner or later. Also, if you haven't read Welcome to Miami, you necessarily don't need to but it'll help out a hella lot! So, enjoy chapter one and remember that reviews are GREATLY appreciated!

(UPDATE: Welcome to Miami is actually all rewritten and revised, I just have yet to go edit the fixtures in the chapters uploaded here!)

Evie grunted as she rounded the two-hundred on the track for the twenty-fourth time. She was feeling like glue, each step she took she felt herself slow and become more unstable. Evie pushed her arms faster to increase speed, dug her head into her chest and squinted her eyes closed as she came up to the starting line. At this moment, Evie felt every nerve within her body. Every pain, ache, movement, pulse. It was all so vibrant.

At the starting line, Evie slowed down too fast and ended up stumbling over her feet, her body too tired to stop her fall. She hit the paved track with a loud thud, weekly pulled herself on her knees, feeling sweat drip down every inch of her body. ‘Six miles,’ she thought as she remained on her hands and knees for a second, relaxing her muscles, ‘I’m insane’. Evie tried to stand up but she felt her weight pull her down as if gravity was latching onto her too much. She closed her eyes and stood up without any pause.

Once up, she walked slowly over to her bag, worried about the weight that would soon be dropped on her shoulders. Evie checked her phone but was upset when she came to see that there were no missed calls. Earlier that day, Evie finally got around to visiting Syracuse University to talk to them about her acceptance letter. They told her that they would call her when they found an answer to all her problems…

Walking back to her car, Evie stopped an looked around the public gym she found that was close to her new home. She loved the New York City, loved the environment. It was a big change from the quiet farms of Maryland.

Evie got into her silver Lexus and started the ignition, pulling out of the parking lot. She hit the road and was prepared for six o’clock rush hour. After starting and breaking, starting and breaking again, Evie was use to all the horns and yelling people. She couldn’t understand why people would continue to yell like it would make a difference. She heard a faint vibrate behind all the ruckus that was continuing out on the streets, Evie looked down at the cup holder to see her phone going off.

“Hello?” She asked, putting up her window to block out all the rants and horns.

“Hey, it’s Carly.” Carly was Evie’s good friend since they could remember. They’ve made it through the ups and downs and now they made it all they way through school together since little third graders to now freshman in college.

“Oh, sorry I forgot to look at my caller ID.” Evie reclined in her seat, putting the car in park as she waited for there to be movement in the rush hour streets.

“It’s fine, so Aaron and I are coming over for dinner tonight right?” Aaron was Evie’s boyfriend since March. They had quite a past since being freshman in high school. Evie use to have a big crush on Aaron since the first time he smiled at her and apparently he did too, but he always had the worst most hurtful ways of showing it. When on Spring Break vacation all their secrets came lose and now they are going steady.

“From last I checked, yes.” Evie placed her head on the seat, yawning. She could really go for a nap right now.

“Okay good because we’re already on our way.” Evie could see the smile on Carly’s face, chuckling to herself.

“All right. How long have you been on the road?” It usually took six hours to get from Maryland to New York.

“Four in a half hours so if you were to tell us no we wouldn’t have listened.” Carly simply stated, hearing Aaron laugh in the background. Evie loved hearing him laugh, she felt so easy around him. There were times where Evie gave second thoughts about being with Aaron, but she didn’t listen because she knew the only reason she was thinking those thoughts was because of other people’s input.

“Nice, Carly.” Evie sat up straight when she finally had a clearing to drive straight home. She struggled holding the phone with her shoulder as she took turns and shifted gears. “Hey, I’ll talk to you guys later. You know I’m not good at driving and using the phone at the same time.”

“Okay,” Carly giggled, “I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Evie returned the good bye and closed her phone, focusing on the road.


Evie reached her now familiar street with the same crazy dog lady who seemed to always have a new dog every day, the same little kids playing on the sidewalk, and the same teenagers who hangout on the steps of one of their homes, trying to hide their cigarettes and beer. She pulled into a parallel park in front of her home, turning off the ignition and sighing. Her legs ached and her arms were tired, hauling that exercising bag was going to be tough. A knock on her window interrupted her thoughts and she smiled up at the crooked smirking Luigi.

Luigi was the boy next door that was mysteriously friendly. When you first look at Luigi, you see a dark, quiet boy with dark ebony hair, stunning brown eyes and amazing pearled skin. His style was intense and dark, but it worked so well you’d think he had a personal designer. Luigi may always look scary, but the greatest reassuring feeling he gave off is when you see the ancient cross around his neck that was so special to him.
Evie rolled down the window and greeted him with a hug through the tiny space.

“Hi there buddy!” These past few weeks Evie got to know Luigi better and found out a few interesting facts about him. Luigi Montoya was actually Portuguese like Carly and is also from the country which means that it’s also his native tongue. Luigi lives with his older sister, Anastasia, and her fiancé Fitch. When Evie met Fitch she couldn’t help but tease him of his name, now they have their own nick name of ‘Fetchy-Fitch’. Another secret is that Luigi is actually more into the male anatomy than female.

“Evie! …You’re all sweaty.” Luigi frowned after he hugged her. Evie threw her head back and laughed.

“I just got back from running as you can see.” Evie pointed to the shorts she had on, the running shoes and the under armor shirt.

“So I see.” Luigi opened her door and grabbed her running back fro her.

“Oh, thank you!” Evie smiled getting out and shutting the door behind her. She trotted up the stairs and quickly unlocked the door.


When walking into her home she felt so relieved to still be by herself, this was her home and her space. She walked into the living room and tossed the keys on the coffee table.

“I’m going to take a fast shower,” Evie spun around and saw the bag on Luigi’s tiny shoulders, “here I can take that.” Evie walked over and grabbed the bag, placing it by the door to be brought to a cleaners.

“Okay, if you want I can go next door and just come back later.” Luigi shrugged, pulling on the sleeves of his thin, tight fitting shirt.

“It’s up to you, I’ll only be fifteen minutes tops.” Evie opened the wall cupboard and grabbed out a folded towel and a wash cloth.

“Then I’ll just stay here, are Carly and Aaron still coming over for dinner?” He asked, sitting on the couch looking through a magazine as Evie was in the next room getting undressed for the shower.

“Yeah, they should be here in another hour or so.” Evie replied, tossing her dirty clothes in her basket. “Okay, I’m getting in.”


Evie left her red, long hair natural hair to air dry with some split end reducer added. She took her hand and pushed it back, letting it fall back and curl naturally to frame her face, putting on a light trace of foundation with a coat of mascara. Lip gloss was painted onto her lips and a pair of dangling earrings matched her hair. Evie walked to her closet and grabbed a pair of straight legged black jeans and a silver cowl neck, silk sleeveless shirt that was tight around the waist. A pair of silver flats were placed on her feet and she felt ready to take on the company that would be attending dinner with her.

“Wow, you look good.” Luigi got up and took a hold of her wrists, taking a look at her outfit.

“Thanks, buddy!” Evie smiled. “Hey, would you mind helping me with dinner?”

“Sure!” He smiled, Luigi loved to cook.

As the potatoes and other mixed vegetables broiled in the pot to go along with the casserole in the oven, Luigi and Evie rested in the dining room looking at magazines. A knock followed by a ‘Hello’ rang to them and Carly and Aaron were already in the kitchen searching for the food.

“Hey Carly!” Evie ran up to her friend and squeezed her in a hug. Being six hours away meant seeing her friends from back home every other week. Soon, with gas prices rising, it will be months. After Carly said her hello, she moved away to greet Luigi.

“Hey there.” Aaron pulled Evie into a hug. Evie pressed her lips against his and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing herself against him. She missed him with all her heart and it felt great to have him with her again. Aaron loosened the hug but kept a reassuring arm around Evie, kissing her forehead.

“Are you hungry?” Evie asked, moving out of his arms to grab the casserole out of the oven.

“I know I am!” Carly laughed, pushing back her long brown hair. After Spring Break, Carly acted more…mature than usual. She started to grow her short shoulder length hair out which now reaches mid back, and the once dyed pink bangs have been returned to it’s natural brown. Carly also didn’t wear make up anymore, she was still as beautiful too. Her long dark lashes seemed like she was already wearing mascara, and her skin cleared up resulting in no facial cover up. Yet, she was still the always eating, loud mouth Portuguese Carly everyone’s grown to love.

They all served their food and gathered around the small round table used in place of a big sized dining table. Luigi and Carly seemed to become good friends, sharing facts about the culture they had in common and going on and on about the new clothes in magazines. Aaron and Evie started to talk about Evie’s new life style in New York.

“So, have anything planned for the next few weeks?” Aaron asked, taking a bite of the vegetables Luigi took time to prepare. Luigi and Carly quieted down to listen in on the conversation.

“Nope, nothing at all. Why?” Evie took a sip of the flavored water she got from the fridge.

“I was wondering if maybe I could spend the week up here with you? I have nothing to do but homework at home which is in the back of Carly’s car.” Aaron looked shyly around the table at the audience listening to him.

“Yeah that’s fine-”

“No it’s not!” Carly butted in, a light bulb ticking off at the top of her mind.

“It’s not?” Aaron, Luigi and Evie all asked.

“Are you forgetting what needs to be the main priority on our minds?” Carly started to reach into the coach bag at her feet.

“Nothing’s coming to mind.” Evie bluntly stated, taking a bite of her casserole. Four slivers of paper were slid across the table in front of Evie. She grabbed the four pieces of paper and squinted her eyes at the small print: they were four tickets to their senior week destination. Portugal.

“Ah, shit son!” Luigi laughed, grabbing a ticket, “Home country! Wait-” Luigi set the ticket down, “is one for me or am I just being greedy?” Everyone laughed at his remark.

“Yup! Four tickets to spend Senior Week in my aunt and grandmothers house in Portugal, and yes Luigi, one is for you.” Carly laughed, patting his forearm.

“Dude, this is sweet!” Evie passed a ticket to Aaron who accepted it and smiled to himself, excited in his own shy, quiet way.

“‘Thanks Carly, I appreciate this.’” Carly mocked, waiting for a proper thank you.

“How about ‘thanks Carly, but how’d you afford this?’” Evie smiled, setting her ticket down and got up to take care of the empty dishes on the table.

“My mother got them, my family doesn’t feel like going so I’m putting them to good use. There’s a fifth ticket - you know how big my family is - but I am leaving it at home.” Carly shrugged, getting up to take care of her plate.

“You shouldn’t waste that money.” Evie clapped her hands together after washing off the dishes she carried over.

“Well, what do you propose I do with them?” Carly placed her dishes in the sink.

“Get the group back together - invite Brad.” Evie simply shrugged. Carly’s shoulders jerked and dishes clanked. Aaron’s head rose then took a double-take before staring bug eyed at Evie.

“Invite who now?” Luigi looked around at the shocked faces, taking a guess that this person was the last person to be invited.
A little less inhuman.
A little more brutal.
Let the blood be your drug.




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Okay, well right off let me say that it's good, but could use a once over.

I found a lot of grammatical errors, where I couldn't exactlly tell you...I wasn't paying that much attention. Anywho, a side from the grammatical errors you might add more detail. And before I forget, the scene in which she is putting on her make-up and getting dressed, that seemed forced, and a little confusing. I had to read it twice to understand it.

But other than that, I didn't really find much.
Apartment 37 where flying cell phones, and burnt frying pans are the norm.

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