The Birds

If you dont know of the story, it basically focuses on some man eating birds, the movie is by Alfred Hitchcock.

There they swoop
in the sky,
only coming down
to devour bone, flesh and eye

Little sparrows
small as they are keen,
And the mighty eagle
"We are king" they scream

For this ancient knowledge
stored in their wings,
gives them the power,
to do terrible things

What is this power,
you might ask?
That gives them the ability,
to destroy us, man?

It is Unity
that gives them the power
and if man had it too,
who knows what great things man could do?

Thanks for any reviews

this is really good
oh your 13!! me too
lol sorry

so anyway, i like this poem but its a little short
i think you should add more
it really is just describing birds and its kinda boring
but birds are boring.....
so...
but i think you have good ideas and you should keep writing
but maybe about something else =D
i liked it though

i just dont have that much intersest in birds!

Well, its brevity is its strength. It could be long and awful or short and sweet. Unlike maybe every other thirteen year old here your message comes on strong and pure. Your doing great my friend, keep it right up.

P.S. It would do you good to avoid taking any critiques seriously that use "lol", emoticons(=D), and/or several exclamations in a row.

P.P.S Great grammar by the by

Hmm. Nice. I think I like it.
But here are some grammer issues and etc.

[/quote] only to come down

there is an over use of the word "to" how about 'only coming down'


[/quote]Little sparrows
small as they are keen,
And the mighty eagle
"We are king" they scream




This is confusing. consider cleaning it up to make more sense.

the repitition of the word "man" is making this poem sound a bit choppy. Broaden your vocab and choose some other words. (i.e. soul, human, person...etc you get the idea.)

All in all I like it and it has certain potential. Keep going and you'll travel far!