16 Days In The Land Of Broken Dreams...

2 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 21
1.
Contained in a sphere of darkness,
unrelenting.
Fear closing in from all directions.

2.
Alone,
none to save you.
Captive,
like a fish in a tank,
resigned to the will of the master.

3.
Try to reach out;
only to recieve a stinging slap of rejection.
Try again,
this time take a shield.

4.
Maybe there is saftey in danger.
Maybe the stranger possesses a kind face.

5.
The hope of yesterday shattered.
In it's place,
the despair of a thousand tomorrows.

6.
A glimmer on the horizon;
what will become of this?
Don't think,
don't curse it.

7.
A friend;
an ally perhaps?
Apologise at once;
you can not afford to lose this.

8.
Floating,
on a cload of gloom perhaps,
but floating all the same.
Surrounded,
yet still alone.

9.
Suppose it was only uncertainty;
suppose you are included after all.
Like a dog chasing a car;
what will you do now you've reached it?

10.
Trust;
so much potential for betrayl.
How can one know their secrets are safe?

11.
Another wasted day,
detrimental to advancement.
Uncertainty closes in,
driving out the fear,
but doing little for the atmosphere.

12.
Expanding,
ever covering reality in repellant.
Oh the lies they told you,
there is no safety in numbers.

13.
Tomorrow;
tomorrow;
so much promise,
lies in the unknown.
Which monsters are lurking there,
waiting to consume the hope of yesterday?

14.
Failure;
pressing down on your soul.
How hard is it to control yourself;
how hard is self-control?

15.
Acceptance;
the goal,
the objective,
now lost in the dust.
But is it really you,
or just a deception forced upon you by the unseen,
attempting to remain just that?

16.
Perfection,
held in the palm of your very hand.
Let it not be fleeting;
let it stay forever.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 10701
Reviews 356
hi there!
I'm gonna review this.... but I'm not sure what to say...
First, a question: Is this supposed to be like the numbers before the line in every stanza are the number of the day it has passed? If it is, this "poem" is very unclear, since you pass from a topic to another, without explaining very well either. it's confusing.
You should try to fix that, if you're considering editing....
Anyway, hope I helped :D
keep writing!
Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: You don't spell it. You feel it.

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The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitudes.
— Viktor Frankl