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Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

Threnody · 2008-11-12T02:33:00Z

Prologue Luke balled himself up in the cellar corner waiting for her to return. he quickly shone a flashlight beam around the shadowy basement, as was his ritual to do so about every couple of minutes to see if they were still there watching him. And of course they still did. He sniffled a bit but was afraid to cry in front of them. That was about as much pride as he still possessed. Still, once again, he shone the faint beam around the room. 5 black mounds looked up at him with great green eyes. The largest animal began sizing the boy up. All of them reeked an aura of a gaunt, homicidal, old man about to be shipped off to an insane asylum. Luke absolutely hated those creatures called cats. They were originally supposed to pose as “protectors”, of his mother’s choice. A dog may have been different. A wonderful, loyal dog who wouldn’t even bare it’s fangs at a small, helpless 9 year old boy, but instead defend him against potential evil doers (preferably cats). Yeah right. Luke was stuck with deranged felines who wouldn’t pause to think twice before they chewed him to pieces. Of course they used to be nice kitties. Normal, affectionate lap-cats. The kind that kept you warm in bed by sleeping against your feet, and the kind that would rub against your legs. Slowly they began to, like milk, turn sour. What was worse was that Luke’s single-mother never noticed a thing. The cats took out all their hatred, malice, and dirt on him. To his mother they were angels. To Luke they were devils. Eventually Luke began to tire of his squatting position against a hard, stone basement wall and shifted a bit. A cat growled. Then, against his better instincts, Luke made up his mind to attempt a break from this basement prison. ( All he had done was go down to fetch a can of peaches, when they cornered him!) He slipped through the dark, and it was so far, so good. Until, he creaked open the door to the upstairs. To the heaven salvation. 5 cats materialized around him. It was go out and get ripped to shreds, or stay downstairs and get ripped to shreds. A lose-lose situation. The biggest one, obviously the alpha-cat leapt gracefully in front of him. It’s name was Snookums. A sickening name for a sickening cat. It’s claws were like shivs. The recently sharpened kind. All 4 cats also slithered out their retractable claws to aid Snookums in “little boy maiming”. All five cats orbited him like NASA satellites around planet Earth. Luke dashed out the door, a vengeful plan blooming in his mind. Snookums caught his arm and was able to slice a nice, thin line down it. Luke ignored the pain and grabbed the fire poker from the fireplace. He began whirling it in front of him. With the poker twirling he backed into the basement. Not purposely but forced by undaunted cats. Adrenaline surged and he swung out at the nearest cat. The poker caught it on the skull and killed it upon contact. Luke maniacally slaughtered 3 more cats in this manner. Snookums was left untouched and not even a little bit frightened now. Snookums dared Luke to come closer. Luke obliged and swung his weapon around with such force that it caught the cat’s tensed tail and mangled it. Now the caught was in pain and scared. As the cat raced through the door to escape. Luke slammed the door on it. They were all dead and the basement was noiseless. Luke carried the bodies into the back of the basement and stuffed them into an unused chest. He covered that chest with boxes. With those boxes he placed the bloodstained poker. Luke was only 9 when he massacred these cats. He was not well versed on the concept of death. Realization struck when he found out that these terrors were not coming back. It’s a shame he forgot to pray to God that it stayed like that.

Dee

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Points 890

Reviews 3

Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:29 am

Dee says... · Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:29 am

Hello! First of i'd like too say that it was a little confusing, however, I really enjoyed it.
I'm not all that qualified yet to be criticizing, but the few things I thought you should look over are
1. Your general grammar, but everyone has already commented on that
2. Your spacing is kind of weird. Look at the topics of paragraphs and make sure it flows

Besides that it loooks really good, please continue!!!

Quote

Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and your mom was your hero? Race issues were about who ran the fastest, war was only a car game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and good byes only meant tomorrow? And we couldn't wait to grow up.
— Unknown

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

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