Enemies to Buddies: One

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This is something that I have been working on lately. It's not my best work but I hope you like it anyway.

Chapter One:
Who ever thought that childhood enemies could become good friends? Especially when one’s the drummer of a band called Pieces of the Puzzle and the other the quarterback for the Leighton High School jaguars. It wasn’t done in our school, but Blane Sweetnam and I, Skye Stradford sort of abolished that rule.
Being neighbors for almost fourteen years caused us to hate each other. At first we were just normal neighbors who hung out occasionally until we got to the eighth grade. That was when I found music and he found football. How did we start hating each other? Well, Blane called me a fake and I called him a wanna be to fit in with our groups.
Sitting here on the city bus, I can place the beginning of it all. August seventeenth, the day before school started; our junior year.
I would have been out with my band that night, but my mom insisted that I stay home, for she had a surprise for me. Perplexed, I walked into the kitchen and found that the table was set for four people. Yet only the two of us lived in this house...we didn’t even eat at the table.
“Odd,” I said under my breath.
“Did you say something, honey?” she asked causing me to shake my head, no. “Well, then take a seat right there.”
She pointed at the plate with the smallest amount of food.
I was just about to sit down when the doorbell rang. Mom jumped for joy before going to answer the front door. This had to of been right about the time that Mom went from her normal laid back self to someone that cared only for herself. It was kind of strange and frankly, I didn’t like this change at all.
“What in the world is going on?” I asked aloud, wondering whom on earth she had invited over for dinner. We never had people over for dinner.
Suddenly, Blane and his dad walked into the kitchen with my mother.
“This is your house?” he asked with disgust.
“This is unbelievable,” I commented with the same tone.
It was the first time we had spoken to one another in three years and to tell you the truth, I wanted to throw my plate at him.
“I’m out of here!”
My mother grabbed my hand saying softly, “Wait until the surprise, Skye, please.”
“Fine. This better be good.”
I sat down in the chair across from him. We exchanged looks of suspicious distrust.
“Skye, Blane,” Mr. Sweetnam started. “We are dating.”
Blane’s only reply was a simple, “So.”
“That’s a great surprise,” I responded sarcastically while standing up.
“I’m walking home,” Blane announced, rising to his feet.
I was just about to reach for the car keys on the kitchen counter when mom ordered, “Skye, give him a ride home.
“No, thanks. I’d rather walk,” he said, shaking his head.
“You either go with Skye or stay here,” his dad ordered sternly.
In defeat, Blane and I walked out of the kitchen and through the front door. Our swinging arms hit on the way out. It’s surprising that we both fit through the front door at the same time.
“Man, don’t touch me,” he snarled.
“Hey, you touched me,” I snapped in response.
We separated and got into the car. The doors slammed shut, mine then him.
“Just drop me off at the corner.”
“It’s what I’ve been planning on doing so shut the heck up,” I said, putting the car in reverse. “It won’t last.”
“Excuse me?”
“Our parents dating.”
I drove the car to the corner and stopped. “Get out.”
“Gladly.” Blane got out of my mom’s car and took off running toward what I assume is the direction of his house as it began to pour down rain.
Laughing, I sped down the road toward the mall. That is where the band was mostly bound to be located. I needed a new outfit for the first day of school anyways.

I walked into the clothing store, Drummer’s Edge where I unexpectedly bumped into Blane’s girlfriend, Bobbi Corrans. It was the store where I got all my clothes. I had found the store when I went to Burlington with my father, Jack Barnett three years ago. It was right after I found out that I have a twin brother whose name is Jacob, but goes by Jacco.
“Well, if it isn’t the fake,” she sneered with a look of disgust.
“If I’m the fake than what is the captain of the cheerleaders doing in a band clothing store?”
That remark caused her to flip her hair over her hair and walk off swaying her hips angrily.
I looked at the dress she had been looking at. It was exactly the same as the dress I had worn at my first gig.
“That’s interesting,” I said aloud, while flipping through the outfits.
“Skye, hey,” my best friend, Darla Nash came to my side. She’s the lead singer in the band.
“Hey, Darla.”
“I thought you were having dinner with your mom tonight.”
“I had a change of plans.”
She pulled a dress out of the rack and held it up to me. “Glenn would like this a lot.”
Glenn Nash is my boyfriend, her twin brother and our guitarist. I’ve been with him for a little over a year, which is a big surprise. Most of the time, my relationships last no longer than a few weeks.
“Are you telling me to buy this dress for the first day of school?” I asked with a smile.
“Yes, it looks great on you,” she said with a nod.
“Where are Clark and Glenn?” I asked as I paid for the pink dress.
Clark Lashe is our bass player and Darla’s for at the moment boyfriend. Darla has a new boyfriend like every two weeks or less. It is so sad.
“They’re in Pizza Perfect,” she said. “C’mon let’s go.”
I shook my head. “You go ahead, I’ve got to run some errands so I’ll see you later.”
“Okay.”
Darla and I went our separate ways. The truth was that I didn’t want to see Glenn after my encounter with Blane. As crazy as it sounds, they used to be really good friends until he started going out with me, and seeing him would make me realize how much I couldn’t stand Blane.
“That wanna be,” I muttered.
Little did I know I wouldn’t be saying that for a very much longer.



Like I said before, this isn't one of my best stories but tell me what you think....
Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side.
--La Rochedoucauld

"An unexamined life is not worth living..."
---Socraties




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I thought it was pretty cute...if you aren't going for cute, then I would definitely change the tone (and TITLE).

Section One I thought was cool, except you need to properly distinguish who's the drummer and who's the the jock. Confused me at first, and that's an important bit...

Section Two made me wonder: Out of all the stores in the entire universe, why is everyone in the world piled into one store? Wouldn't it be kind of...cool...if your best friend showed up while you were shopping? The girl just seems kind of 'hey'...and you don't mention anything about planning.

That's all!

TA RA RA BOOM DE AY
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin




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Well, cute is what I'm going for. Skye is the drummer and Blane is the jock. I decided to make all her friends already at the mall and she had planned on hanging out with her friends but called to cancel before the story began. I thought it would be a good way to start the story where she bumps into her enemies girlfriend to start the tension ya know.

I'm glad you liked it.
Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side.
--La Rochedoucauld

"An unexamined life is not worth living..."
---Socraties




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Gender Female
Points 1683
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i kinda of had the same problem as Sam, but i soon got it. i had also gotten confused if the second section was still past tense or not, but again, i had figured it out as i read on.

i thought you did pretty well. the only thing i think you could've done better on is just distiguishing (sp) the characters. other than that, i like it.

you did well, good for you. ^.^ (i like that face.) oh, just to put it out there, i noticed you missed some places for commas. but hey, i don't do that well with were commas and whatnot go either.

- little_angel_fire




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Hello there! I really like this piece, like a lot. Hm I really do think that you should have finished it though. It was good, it was cute and it could have really gone somewhere. Even if you just got bored you should have kept going because it was really good! If you have any questions PM me sweetie. x
The only true failure, is when you give up. ♥



You know how hard it is to feel like an extreme falcon-headed combat machine when somebody calls you "chicken man"?
— Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid