...that guy Nick is so cute (y'know Jake's friend?) but its not like I've ever spoken to him. Wait, i have. Once. But I feel kinda bad anyway cause Charlotte keeps going on about how his friend James likes me and...
Ugh. Everything these days makes me feel guilty, its like i'm living in a world of sin.
On the bright side though: this indicates I actually have a conscience!
11 Aug
So we missed the movie, came back and got Juice and went to Marc's. And played echochrome. Mindblowing.
It was good to see everyone and stuff, but something really took me by surprise.
Nick.
I mean I completely fell head over heels. It was ridiculous. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. But really, how could i not when he was wearing a muse t-shirt?
And God, two day stubble looked good on him. I'd never noticed he has a nice jaw. basically i melted into a big puddle of neurones.
18th Aug
...I cannot be assed with Xander's transparent "I'm a nice guy" now fuck me act.
But whatever. In other news. Nick-love still going strong. He commented me on bebo this morning,it was well cute.
Becca's reaction when I told her in H& M's was priceless . She just sort of made this face as though she was saying "yeah but the stock market is going through the roof" and just went matter of factly:
"Yeah but Nick is REALLY hot." Her delivery cannot be recorded in writing.
Becca approves. I approve.
20th Aug
I have something I have been coveting for a year now:
hope.
and having hope makes me SO cheerful I have all my friends vomiting sugar. Here's how it happened:
[Jake] "Girl Coke, i Drink It" says :
so you've got no one really on the cards right now?
[Rachael] "Let Me Take You Down,Cause I'm Going down" says:
Nah not really. a couple of sort ofs but nothing that...
Jake: Who's the sort-of?
Me: *thinks*
Me: I'm deciding if I want to say
Jake: You know you can trust me, I won't say anything.
< except its not other people im worried about telling, its you. He's your friend...>
Me: I know. Its just weird.
Jake: How?
Me: Its just a stupid crush thing anyway
Jake: I'll stop pushing XD
Me: No its okay, its kinda one of those things where I won't say anything but I kinda want someone to push me cause I wanna talk about it.
Jake: In that case I'll keep pushing XD
Tell me. Tell me now goddamnit.
Me: Okay...so maybe i like Nick. Like a teensy bit.
<this is where I freak out>
Jake:...knew it
< :O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O WHAT????>
Me: HOW?
Jake: at camping, you were hardly apart. i could kinda tell he liked you too.
Me: Am I that transparent?
Jake: :L No its just cause i know you both so well. You'll make more of an effort to speak to someone, except me, Andrew and michael cause we talk heaps anyway
and Nick is just plain obvious.
So are you planning taking it further or was it just a thought?
Me: you know my plans never go as well as I'd like them to...
Jake: I'll not lie to you, he's been close with this other girl. But they haven't met properly and she's got nothing on you.
< Sometimes I am so glad Jake is my friend. He is the best.>
me: *smiles*
Jake: You know after camping I sort of thought, "Rachael and Nick might work...."
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
23 Aug
Putting my msn on my bebo WORKED. Since when do things ever WORK for me?!
I spent the whole of yesterday thinking about him. I mean I actually had to focus my attention back to the movie in the cinema with Becca to stop myself daydreaming.
2 Sep
Jake: Has Nick spoken to you yet?
Nick: Helloes again
Me: he just said hi right now
Jake: No I mean like talk, talked to you?
Me: Nope.
Jake: Hmm. Well he definitely likes you. This girl just fucked him over a bit.
Me: :iconimhappy:
not about the fucking over bit, but still. I can't help it.
5 Sep
Met people at the courts again. Nick had said he was coming. We were all sitting in the gazebo and I was having a good time despite having to stop myself looking around for him. I was standing over the other side of a column when everyone said hi. So I just figured I'll say hi when he's closer or whatever.
And Rachel. I can't believe I never saw it coming. She was ALL over him.
"Hi Nick!" Nick this, Nick that. She wouldn't leave him alone. Even when he came over and sat next to me she sat down on the other side and was all leaning on him and shit. And i was surprised how much it pissed me off.
Like suddenly I was back to that feeling of wanting to growl at her and snatch him away. I just wanted her OFF him.
...everyone left early for some reason. Me Nick and Ross were left to walk home alone. I hugged him goodbye, and it was a proper I-like-you hug, one of those where I pull away slightly early out of habit, and they hold on just a second longer. Then I quickly half hugged Ross sideways, said bye and skipped into the car park.
6 sep (1: 13 in the morning)
I'm going to meet him. I'm shaking so much. More later. Right now I really have to try and calm myself down. Meditating? O.o
Wish me luck <3
6 sep ( 9: 45 am)
Jesus god why did they wake me up?!?!?!
Its far too early to be cutting grass. So i don't want to technically SLEEP any longer but I'm still horribly tired. Mum's pleased the doors were locked last night and doesn't seem to have a inkling when i came in last night ( technically i guess it was this morning?).
Unfortunately the price of getting away with it is being forced to work through sleep deprivation.
All things considered I guess i have it pretty good.
Nick has work today. *sigh*
6 sep
To set the scene, theres me walking down the hill, Thomas Newman on my iPod and a red red apple in my hand. I eat half then throw it into the grass. And the shaking. There was that too. Despite my "meditation" I hadn't been able to stop it.
I looked up and he was walking towards me, and I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. We hugged and I told him how it was was too early to go to bed.
We held hands as we walked.
All the way down to tesco and back. We had a lot of stories about when we were kids, and little Nick is about the cutest thing i can imagine.
We ended up at the benches at the school. We stopped talking, I leant my head on his shoulder and played with his fingers.
Hugged. Kissed. For a while. We were both shivering from the cold.
We walked to the park. Stayed there for a while. Did I mention he has the best collarbones ever?
He walked me home. I was quiet as I could sneaking in, it was four by then.
<3
- - - - -
there. god that took ages.
A timeline, picking out the parts of my diary that relate to this.
I don't like having to call him nick >.<
a lot of this is pretty boring writing, i like the last entry the best.
other (more interesting) parts of my diary: topic38194.html
topic38159.html
Thanks for sharing!