If Love is not Enough Chapter 2

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If Love is not Enough
By Angel of Death

Chapter 2

October 3, 2007

The sky had morphed into a purple haze with orange sherbet highlights. In my peripheral vision, the clock blinked, its eyes opening and closing to reveal 7:00 in green numbers. Ever since school started, the days seemed to have been getting shorter and shorter. Time was confined in a hourglass and someone flipped it over so that the seconds could go by without warning. There was silence in the car. As I drove down the road towards my house, I took in the last moments of tranquility. Wednesdays were always hectic, and I knew that once I stepped over the threshold, peace would become a distant memory. Marco would be blasting his rock music while mom would try hard to settle Lucille down. I loved my brother and sister to death, but sometimes I wished they came with an off button.
My house was the small white one at the end of the street. It probably wasn't perfect but we've seen so many years in it. The awnings and the shutters were the same faded blue. There were lush green bushes littered around the perimeter and a huge apple tree. A swing fashioned from a tire and a rope, hung from one of the branches. Parking in the driveway, I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. A waft of cool air smacked my face, combing through the dark curls that sat on my head. From where I stood, I could see a tall slender figure sitting on the bench. It was Warren, my other best friend. He was staring at his hands when I walked towards him. His eyes lit up when he saw me, which made my lips curl up at the corners.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I replied, sitting beside him.
"Your mom said I could stay for dinner."
"Don't you always stay for dinner?" I asked, confused.
It was true. Warren was here every evening, enduring the craziness of the Harrison house. Unlike me, he liked it. One day he told me that it was like having a real family. Especially since his wasn't that conventional. His mom had left them long ago and his father always worked. He blushed when I didn't take my gaze off of him. Closing his eyes, he stood up and started pacing. The sound of his feet moving across the floor sounded peaceful as the crickets started to chirp.
"Its like this..." he started, sighing.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask you something."
"Go ahead. I'm listening." I said, softly.
Though I would never say this to him, I thought Warren was cute when he was frustrated about something. His almond-shaped eyes would slant under his furrowed eyebrows and roses would bloom on his round cherub face. He's always looked like this. Izzy and I would tease him about maturing late for a boy of sixteen. Pulling his wiry arms behind his head, he turned to look at me.
"Its almost Halloween and there's a dance...and I was wondering if you could ask Izzy if she'd go with me?" he asked.
Surprised, my bottom lip dropped and my eyes began to flutter like the wings of a bird. We've been friends for so long and not once had I thought that Warren liked Izzy. They were nothing alike. Isabella was the dramatic, boy obsessed, rebel and he was just...Warren. He liked double-stuffed pizza and random thoughts. The latest video game interested him more than who was staying or going on American Idol. But what did I know? Relationships weren't my thing and Izzy was a guy magnet. I looked away, not wanting Warren to see my cheeks flush. Isabella always got asked out and I was just her boring, geeky friend.
"Well?" he pushed, sitting down.
"I..." I started, turning to look at him.
"I know its weird because we're friends and stuff but..." Weird didn't even explain half of it. If they went out together, I'd be the third wheel. I was always the third wheel. But Warren and Izzy would never go out. Izzy was into popular jocks and not average joes. Warren wasn't and will never be a Brett Forester. He didn't have smooth caramel skin and dark liquid green eyes. His muscles didn't show under his clothes and he wasn't exactly what Izzy called charming. I could still feel him watching me; waiting for an answer that was lodged in between my throat and my heart. There was no way I was going to be the one to tell him that Izzy already had a date. I was happy and somewhat relieved when my mom opened the door and poked her head out. Her tan skin was illuminated by the yellow light from the lamp. She was wearing gray sweats and a T-shirt and her wild red hair was pulled back into a ponytail. That was the usual attire for her.
"Dinners ready."
Warren quickly shuffled to his feet, brushed past me and went into the house. I stayed seated for a moment, my mind absent of thought. The stars were starting to twinkle in the sky, playing amongst dying embers of pink. A low sigh broke free from my lips, and that's when I felt it. My mom had not left her spot in the doorway. When I turned to look at her, her eyes were focused on me. They were cloudy but they glistened in the porch light.
"Is there something the matter, sweetheart?" she asked, stepping outside and closing the door.
"No, I'm fine." Those words always seemed to touch my tongue as my voice formed around them. It wasn't something I said to be rude or dismissive. It was just something I said, and mom understood that. She nodded her head and several scarlet tendrils fell out of place.
"Did you and Isabella get all of your work done?" For some reason, I immediately thought of Mr. Gardner and his book club. His note was still folded up in my pocket. Scratching my nose, I stood up and shrugged.
"We got all that we needed."
"Oh, that's good." mom replied, smiling. I watched her thin lines struggle to pull up. They were like weak bridges struggling to carry a ton of cars. Anyone who didn't know her better would say that she was happy, but I could see that she wasn't. Ever since Dad died, everything just fell apart. Before, she stayed locked up in her room and only came out when it was time to go to work. After she received the inheritance from Dad, she stopped going to work all together and she became this dark void. A living time bomb that would go off at the sight of pictures or things that belonged to him. But then, somehow she pulled herself together and I hid my feelings deep down in my soul, so that she wouldn't have another breakdown. I didn't know my father well, so I wasn't as sorry as I should've been. He worked all the time, and when he was home, Marco was given all of his attention. It was if I didn't exist.
"The food is probably getting cold..." she said, opening the door. Music and baby squeals poured out, making a sharp pain ignite in my head. Inside, smells of bread and fried chicken tickled my nose. My stomach growled. I hadn't realized how hungry I was.


*

If our family was an exhibit we'd look weird to the viewers. We weren't as conventional as Warren thought we were and once we sat around the kitchen table, that fact was proved to be true. Marco, as always, was into his I-pod, browsing each and every song carefully. The light was bleeding against his eyes, making them look blue. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were pursed, as if searching for what to listen to next was a tough job. He must have felt my gaze on him because he looked up at me and stared. I wanted to turn away but I couldn't. Marco wasn't the same person anymore. He used to be this optimistic boy who had a girlfriend and wanted to go to college and now he hated going outside and the only people's voices who mattered were those of Patrick Strump or Brendon Urie. Dad's death hurt him the most but he just didn't want to admit it. A lock of his usually messy brown hair fell over his eye, which broke me from my gaze. I turned away and stared at my plate, cheeks burning.
"Teresa aren't you hungry?" mom asked, softly.
"Yeah, sure." I replied, looking up at her. I forced a smile on my face and then ate a forkful of the mashed potatoes. They were hot and tasted like butter and gravy. It felt good as it slipped down my throat. Soon, the hunger that was raging in my stomach calmed. Dinner used to be so different. In those days, we used to laugh and talk. Marco actually turned his I-pod off and join in the conversation. Even the kitchen was different. It used to look like something out of a magazine. The napkins we never were allowed to use to wipe our hands off on, rested next to my mother's finest china and the table was always set. No matter what went on in our family, we'd join up at the kitchen table and eat. Then slowly we'd start to talk, forgetting everything that made us angry. When Dad died, he took all of that with him. He took the laughs and the neatly decorated table and the conversations that started each evening. Marco started listening to his music, never eating his food and silence became our invisible bond. It was like that now, except Warren was here. He was looking at me as if I was the one person who could break the ice.
"So, there's this thing at the library." I started, taking a sip of my water.
Mom looked up, wiping her mouth with a napkin. Her eyes were wide and bright but somewhat confused.
"I'm sorry honey, what did you say?"
"There's this book club at the library. Mr. Gardner...er...the librarian is starting one and he was wondering if Izzy and I wanted to join."
"Well do you?"
"I don't know." And that was the truth.
"I think you should join. It will get you a chance to do something other than homework."
I nodded, knowing that my mother was right. Everyday when I came home from school, I was either doing homework or talking to Izzy about homework. Even when we went to the mall I couldn't talk about nothing but assignments and how I should be doing them instead of going out and shopping. I was a geek and my whole life was wrapped around school. But then there was books. I loved losing myself in the words of the Bronte sisters or F. Scott Fitzgerald. It was the paradise that only I knew of and sharing it with others would spoil the beauty of it. But Izzy wanted to go and I couldn't say no to her.
"Yeah, maybe you're right." I said.
"Is there a permission slip I need to sign?"
Without giving it any more thought, I handed the folded up piece of paper I had in my pocket to her and the night went on. Some of the moments passed in silence but then Warren decided to fill my mother in on the Halloween 'extravaganza' as he called it. My mom was delighted and immediately started lecturing me on what I was going to wear. I didn't want to tell her that I was thinking about not going so I just told her that Izzy and I were going to the mall, which was true.
For the first time in a while, I saw her really smile. It wasn't one of those mechanical ones, where she had to wind up the gears in her cheeks. It was genuine and made me feel somewhat happy. I hoped that dinner would end on a good note but then mom got up and checked the answering machine, something she always forgot to do. She was always missing calls, especially since she was in and out of the house all day. When she came back into the room, her hands were on her hips and a frown was pasted on her lips.
"Marco," she said.
You could hear the music pouring from Marco's headphones. The bass was loud and drowned out the words, making it sound like someone was gasping for breath. He was bobbing his head, his nose ring shining each time the light hit it.
I didn't think he would be able to hear her through all the noise, but he took out his headphones and looked at her, annoyance burning in his eyes.
"What?" he asked, sighing.
"I need to speak to you."
Shrugging, he stood up and followed mom out of the room. Warren and I grew silent, knowing how everything was going to end. Their words were low and hushed, but they sounded harsh and anger-filled. Then Marco's baritone voice was pounding against mom's shrill one.
"Stop trying to control my life!"
"Honey. I just want you to get the help that you need."
"You're the one who needs help! Dad died because he was tired of you!"
"Marco..."
"Just go to hell!"
We heard the sound of feet stumping up the stairs and then several doors slammed. Mom was at the bottom of the steps, her face lit up like red Christmas lights. She was clutching the wall, as if it were her life support. Warren and I watched her silently, my own cheeks flaming. He was used to Marco and mom's fall-outs but to me, they were embarrassing. And they always argued about the same old thing. Therapy. Marco refused to go see Dr. Linton and in between the stream of profanities that poured out of his lips, we could hear him saying that "That doctor is a quack...there's nothing wrong with me...I don't understand why you won't just leave me alone..." Mom didn't say anything, she couldn't. Her face was engulfed by highways and bridges. They ran across her lips and curled under her eyes. Tears were streaming down, creating a trail of red. Turning away, I got up from my chair, and started towards the livingroom. I couldn't take this any longer.
Kicking a few stray toys out of the way, I bounded around the tan couch that sat in the middle of the room and raced for the door. Outside, I leaned against a column and looked out into the yard, past the houses across the street, and to the streets that spanned out from north to east. Anywhere would be better than here. I'd rather hear car horns and feet pounding the pavement, than the soap opera that was mom and Marco's relationship. Sighing, I closed my eyes and let my anger escape with the wind. A hand fell on my shoulder, and then I remembered that Warren was still here.
He was looking at me, his eyes filled to the brim with pity.
"It's going to be okay, Terry." he said, and then I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. This was awkward and somewhat soothing but it was better than being alone. We were standing like for a while and then Marco bounded out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. He pushed past us and went down the steps. There was a bag slung over his shoulders and that was about it. Mom didn't bother to look out the window or the door. I could imagine her sitting on the edge of her bed, her face buried in her hands. I needed to be with her.
Somehow sensing that I needed to go, Warren let go of me, and stuck his hands in his pocket.
"Thanks," I whispered.
"No prob, that's what friends are for."
"See ya at school."
"See ya." And then he was gone. I watched after him until he was around the corner. He only lived a couple of blocks away so I didn't have to worry about him getting kidnapped or anything. Marco was nowhere to be found and I had no idea where he went or what street he turned down. Turning around, I opened the door and went back in the house and for once there was, silence.
Last edited by Angel of Death on Sun Jan 25, 2009 6:23 pm, edited 6 times in total.
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.




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Prepare for nitpicky line-by-line-ness (well, as much as I can do before I take a shower).

There was silence in the car.


This sentence is a tad awkward: "there was" constructions tend to be. How about "It was silent inside the car"? Well, I don't know if that's much better, either, but...(see what I mean? NitpickY)

as I drove down the road towards my house, I took in the last moments of tranquility. Wednesdays were always hectic. Marco would be blasting his rock music while mom tried hard to settle Lucille down. I could hear her cries loud and clear.


These sentences are all extremely...they're very short and choppy fragments. Gramatically, they're fine, but when read they sound awkward. Here's a suggestion--try to read your writing out loud. It will help you a lot with flow and voice, both of which are extremely important especially if you're writing in first person. Try for more advanced usages of punctuation, such as dashes, colons, and semicolons (what Vonnegut calls tranvestite hermaphrodites...), and vary your sentence strucutre a little.

They bled into my head, making the ounce of sanity I had left beg for mercy.


Nice usage of figurative language. I like the visual metaphor being applied to an auditory process (the sound of Lucille's screams). Would "making" be better as "causing", though?

The clock blinked, its black eyes opening and closing to reveal 7:00 in green numbers.


I can already tell you've got a strong command of figurative language. I'm envious! :)

Ever since school started, the days seemed to have been getting longer and longer.


"Seemed to have been"? >_> Come on, you can do better than that...

A waft of cool air smacked my face, combing through the dark curls that sat on my head.


While I appreciate the usage of personification (I really do like your sensory writing style; it makes the action feel like it's happening right now and adds a sense of realism), I can't help but feel those verbs ("smacked" and "coming") kind of...contradict each other in feel. "Smacked" implies a violent, sudden, rough action; "Combing" feels more gentle. So depending on which impression you're trying to convey (rough or gentle), you ought to change one of those verbs to one that'll better convey your intention.

On the porch, sitting on the bench, was Warren, one of best friends.


"Sitting on the porch bench"?

"Don't you always stay for dinner?" I asked, confusedly.


You can just say "confused", without the "-ly".

It was true. Warren was here every evening, enduring the craziness of the Harrison house. Unlike me, he liked it. One day he told me that it was like having a real family. Especially since his wasn't that conventional. His mom had left them long ago and his father always worked. He blushed when I didn't take my gaze off of him. Closing his eyes, he stood up and started pacing. The sound of his feet moving across the floor sounded peaceful as the crickets started to chirp.


Again, your sentences are too short and choppy. I'd suggest melding some of them together--"...enduring the craziness of the Harrison house--unlike me, he liked it", por ejemplo. Otherwise, this is fine, and a nice insight into Warren's character.

"Go ahead. I'm listening." I said, softly.


Either remove the comma, or better yet (since it gets rid of the adverb), say "my voice soft".

Though I would never say this to him, I thought Warren was cute when he was frustrated about something. His almond-shaped eyes would slant under his furrowed eyebrows. Roses would bloom on his round cherub face. He's always looked like this. Izzy and I always teased him about maturing late for a boy of sixteen. Pulling his wiry arms behind his head, he turned to look at me.


Good physical description. Your sentences also start flowing a little more naturally here, too, though there are a few spots that could be cleane dup. I also feel like there's a confusion of tenses here, but I get convoluted about tenses in first person too, so...*trails off*

"Its almost Halloween and there's a dance...and I was wondering if you could ask Izzy if she'd go with me?" he asked.


Wow, that's a direct way to go about doing it. Seems a bit odd how a guy doesn't have the courage to ask the girl himself...but I'm sure he has his reasons and you'll explore them. I might also be missing something, having not read the first chapter. >_>

Must burn the MC, though...am I correct in assuming she likes Warren? :)

Surprised, my bottom lip dropped and my eyes began to flutter like the wings of a bird.


Excellent use of firguative language.

They were nothing alike.


You should probably italicize the "nothing" for emphasis.

"Well?" he pushed, sitting down.


"Insisted" would probably be a better verb.

"Yeah I know that was unexpected but I really like her."


Have Warren show a little hesitation here, since he does seem to kind of be a hesitant guy. Put a few ellipses here...like, "Yeah...I know that was unexpected, but...I really like her", or something like that. He's talking about something very serious so he shouldn't say it all blithe casual-like; he should be awkward, hesitant, searching for words to explain his feelings.

"Please Warren. Don't go all Twilight trailer on me."


Lawlz. :D

Confused, he looked at me with those brown orbs of his and shrugged.


I've been liking your usage of figurative language so far, but please...do NOT commit the sin of referring to eyes as "orbs". It's just overrought and smells purple. You've got a good feel for figurative language; try to find a more creative way to describe Warren's eyes. :)

Before I could talk, mom opened the door and poked her head out.


Is there a reason you haven't capitalized "Mom"? It's standard to do so, unless your MC has a reason not to.

Her tan skin was illuminated by the yellow lamp that stood behind her. She was wearing green sweats and a T-Shirt and her hair was pulled back in a sloppy pony-tail. That was the usual attire for her.


"That was her usual attire" would work better, and again I sense a succession of short, choppy sentences. A few of these could be melded for more natural effect.

"Dinners ready. Come on in," she said.


"Dinner's". :) Remember, the apostrophe indicates a possessive.

making a sharp pain ignite in my head


Again, I feel "causing" would be a better verb than "making".

Inside, smells of bread and fried chicken tickled my nose. My stomach growled. I didn't realize how hungry I was.


I'm getting hungry too, and I just ate dinner...so nice usage of sensory language here. I think the last two sentences could be connected with a semicolon, though, and the "didn't" would be better off as "hadn't>

Whew! *wipes forehead* That was surprisingly nitpicky, even for me...but ehh I guess I'm better at looking at prose than the "big picture".

I did like the plot you have set up, particularly the dilemma of the MC's crush liking her friend. It's not the most original of plots but I'm sure you'll be able to work it out fine. I probably should read your other chapters before I judge, though...

And I'm interested about the MC's home situation since she doesn't seem to like it much, but you probably revealed that in previous chapters *feels lazy*. Once again, I can't stress how much I like your usage of figurative language; you're VERY good at that.

Good work, overall, but work a little harder on making it sound natural and flow well. I suggest reading your story aloud to get a feel for how it sounds, and listening more to how people IRL talk--this will help a LOT in writing natural-sounding first person prose.

I wish you the greatest of luck in your endeavors. ^^
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Thanks times a trillion Bickazer! Your critique was very helpful and much appreciated. I love nitpicks because with the way I think, I would never have found any of the stuff that you've pointed out. I'll make a list of all the things that need to be worked on but I'm just going to keep on going and save the dreadful editing for some other day.:D

~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.




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Here I am for the promised review, but I haven't looked at the review above me, so I apologise in advance if I repeat anything. So, I guess that's it for now ... on with the review!! :D

Angel of Death wrote:[First off, is this the same day as the previous chapter? If not, shouldn't it have a date like the previous one??]
There was silence in the car. As I drove down the road towards my house, I took in the last moments of tranquility. Wednesdays were always hectic. Marco [who's Marco?] would be blasting his rock music while mom tried hard to settle Lucille [same here, by now I'm guessing they're siblings, but you need to make that more clear] down. I could hear her cries loud and clear [how? Isn't she in a car? If not, you've not mentioned it]. They bled into my head, making the ounce of sanity I had left beg for mercy. It wasn't even dark outside. The clock blinked, its black eyes opening and closing to reveal 7:00 in green numbers. [Nice!] Ever since school started, the days seemed to have been getting longer and longer. [New paragraph >>]Parking my car in the driveway, I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. A waft of cool air smacked my face, combing through the dark curls that sat on my head.[Again, great imagery!]
On the porch, sitting on the bench [instead of saying 'the' bench, remove 'the' and describe it instead], was Warren, one of best friends. He was staring at his hand when I walked towards him. His [colour?]eyes lit up when he saw me, which made my lips curl up at the corners [Adverb here].
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I replied, sitting beside him.
"Your mom said I could stay for dinner."
"Don't you always stay for dinner?" I asked, [s]confusedly[/s] confused.
It was true. Warren was here every evening, enduring the craziness of the Harrison house. Unlike me, he liked it. One day he told me that it was like having a real family. Especially since his wasn't that conventional. His mom had left them long ago and his father always worked. [s]He[/s] Warren blushed when I didn't take my gaze off of him. Closing his eyes, he stood up and started pacing [Why's he pacing? Try adding facial features or add an adverb]. The sound of his feet moving across the floor sounded peaceful as the crickets started to chirp [where are the crickets? In the garden, in a field across from the house ...].
"Its like this..." he started, sighing.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask you something." [Oooh ... Also, his tone of voice, facial features? Is he relaxed or awkward when he's saying this ...]
"Go ahead. I'm listening." I said, softly.
Though I would never say this to him, I thought Warren was cute when he was frustrated [You say here he is frustrated, you need to portray this earlier on, from his behaviour and tone of voice. Get your MC analysing his actions aloud to us, because its only until now I know that he is frustrated, but I haven't got a clue as to how your MC arrived at this conclusion] about something. His almond-shaped eyes would slant under his furrowed eyebrows. Roses would bloom on his round cherub face. Awesome description!! You have such great imagery when you're writing - it's just great :D ] He's always looked like this. Izzy and I always teased him about maturing late for a boy of sixteen. Pulling his wiry arms behind his head, he turned to look at me.
"[s]Its[/s] It's almost Halloween and there's a dance...and I was wondering if you could ask Izzy if she'd go with me?" he asked.
Surprised, my bottom lip dropped and my eyes began to flutter like the wings of a bird. We've been friends for so long and not once had I thought that Warren liked Izzy. They were nothing alike. Isabella was the dramatic, boy obsessed, rebel and he was just...Warren.[Wow, I didn't see that coming!]
"Well?" he pushed, sitting down.
"I..." I started, turning to look at him.
"Yeah [comma here] I know that was unexpected [comma here] but I really like her."
"How long have you liked Izzy?"
"A while."
"Please Warren. Don't go all Twilight trailer on me." [Haha! Love it!!]
Confused, he looked at me with those brown orbs [great imagery again] of his and shrugged. Rolling my eyes, I motioned the subject away with my hands. Before I could talk, mom opened the door and poked her head out. Her tan skin was illuminated by the yellow lamp that stood behind her. She was wearing green sweats and a T-Shirt and her hair was pulled back in a sloppy pony-tail. That was the usual attire for her [great character description].
"Dinners ready. Come on in," she said.
Warren quickly shuffled to his feet, brushed past me and went into the house. Music and baby squeals poured out of the house, making a sharp pain ignite in my head. Inside, smells of bread and fried chicken tickled my nose. [great sentence] My stomach growled. I didn't realize how hungry I was.
____________
Chapter 2 is not finished. I don't have time to write more. But thanks for reading. [No!! You can't stop there!! I demand more - immediately :D ]
~Angel


Last Minute Views
Characters
Your MC's character is really developed, but Warren's character isn't as much. As I pointed out, it is your MC's job to pick up facial emotion/expressions, body language, behaviour etc of your other characters, and also have her ananlysing those reactions. I also wasn't too sure what she thought about Warren liking Izzy - so I would develop on that a bit more. Otherwise, your characters are easy to follow and mostly developed, so great job :D

Descriptions
Your descriptions and character imagery are just ... amazing - there's no other word for it!! The way you describe things seem to come so natural to you in stories, and also with a lot of flair - so no improvement needed in this department!! I still can't get over your awesome imagery - just amazing ...

Plot
I'm not too sure how this chapter connects with the previous one, whether it's another day or the same one. If it is the same one, you need to make some reference to the previous chapter. But, if it is another day you need to keep to your dating and date it as another day (does that make sense).
Anyway, the plot of this chapter was very interesting and totally unexpected. The way he was acting I thought he was going to announce that he loved your MC or something. I actually went 'Oh!' in surprise when he said that Izzy was the one he liked - so I applaud you on your twist :wink: :D
The only other thing I can say about the plot of the chapter is that I wished it hadn't ended there!! I want more, hehe :D

Overall Thoughts
I thought this was another great chapter, and again enjoyable to read. I can't wait for the rest of this chapter and for the rest of the story to continue. Great job and keep writing!!

Please PM me when you post more, and I hope this review helped. Remember, if you have any queries, questions, or just want to chat, PM me at any time :D
Bye for now,
--Lucyy xx
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Hey, Angel! Sorry it took me so long to get to this but I'm here, and ready to reveiw! :D

Hopefully I am of some help :wink:

Angel of Death wrote:If Love is not Enough
By Angel of Death

Chapter 2

There was silence in the car. As I drove down the road towards my house, I took in the last moments of tranquility. Wednesdays were always hectic. Marco would be blasting his rock music while mom tried hard to settle Lucille down. I could hear her cries loud and clear. They bled into my head, making the ounce of sanity I had left beg for mercy. It wasn't even dark outside. The clock blinked, its black eyes opening and closing to reveal 7:00 in green numbers. Ever since school started, the days seemed to have been getting longer and longer. Parking my car in the driveway, I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. A waft of cool air smacked my face, combing through the dark curls that sat on my head.
On the porch, sitting on the bench, was Warren, one of my best friends. He was staring at his hand when I walked towards him. His eyes lit up when he saw me, which made my lips curl up at the corners.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I replied, sitting beside him.
"Your mom said I could stay for dinner."
"Don't you always stay for dinner?" I asked, [s]confusedly[/s] "confusedly" sounds funny here. Try a different word.
It was true. Warren was here every evening, enduring the craziness of the Harrison [s]house[/s] household. Unlike me, he liked it. One day he told me that it was like having a real family. Especially since his wasn't that conventional. His mom had left them long ago and his father always worked. He blushed when I didn't take my gaze off of him. Closing his eyes, he stood up and started pacing. The sound of his feet moving across the floor sounded peaceful as the crickets started to chirp.
"Its like this..." he started, sighing.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask you something."
"Go ahead. I'm listening." I said, softly.
Though I would never say this to him, I thought Warren was cute when he was frustrated about something. His almond-shaped eyes would slant under his furrowed eyebrows. Roses would bloom on his round cherub face. He's always looked like this. Izzy and I always teased him about maturing late for a boy of sixteen. Pulling his wiry arms behind his head, he turned to look at me.
"Its almost Halloween and there's a dance...and I was wondering if you could ask Izzy if she'd go with me?" he asked.
Surprised, my bottom lip dropped and my eyes began to flutter like the wings of a bird. We've been friends for so long and not once had I thought that Warren liked Izzy. They were nothing alike. Isabella was the dramatic, boy obsessed, rebel and he was just...Warren.
"Well?" he pushed, sitting down.
"I..." I started, turning to look at him.
"Yeah I know that was unexpected but I really like her."
"How long have you liked Izzy?"
"A while."
"Please comma Warren. Don't go all Twilight trailer on me."
Confused, he looked at me with those brown orbs of his and shrugged. Rolling my eyes, I motioned the subject away with my hands. Before I could talk, mom opened the door and poked her head out. Her tan skin was illuminated by the yellow lamp that stood behind her. She was wearing green sweats and a T-Shirt and her hair was pulled back in a sloppy pony-tail. That was the usual attire for her.
"Dinners ready. Come on in," she said.
Warren quickly shuffled to his feet, brushed past me and went into the house. Music and baby squeals poured out of the house, making a sharp pain ignite in my head. Inside, smells of bread and fried chicken tickled my nose. My stomach growled. I didn't realize how hungry I was.
____________
Chapter 2 is not finished. I don't have time to write more. But thanks for reading.
~Angel


Well, for being partly finished, I found it extremely entertaining (as all your stories are for me). I loved little Warren and his crush on Izzy, who I love. Don't we all have friends like her? The boy-obssessed manic, but we love her for it anyway? lol

Let me know, Angel, when you have more of this up! :D
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach




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Attention!

I'm starting this back up and I did some changes recently, so I need a lot of feedback. All critiques are welcomed and appreciated.

Thanks,

~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.



You know what the big problem is in telling fantasy and reality apart? They're both ridiculous.
— The 12th Doctor