A simple four letter word

Love-
A simple four letter word,
Always said, but is it ever meant or heard?
It's always thrown around as a simple term
Some people will never learn.

I want the complete truth
Not your untrue proof
Though you lies, I can see
You'll never hold my heart's key.

For you, I will not fall,
If you want to talk, don't call,
You can talk to me, face to face,
And we'll take this at a decent pace.

It's going to take time,
Taking it slow is not a crime.
So when you say you love me, mean that
Otherwise its meaningless chat.

So before you say I love you,
Make sure what you say is true.

PLease review.

Hello Kaylyn, may I just say that I had a lovely time reading this poem of yours. However, as with all things I found room for improvement. So bare with me...

To be blunt, I didn't really like the rhymes in this poem. You flip flopped between full rhymes and slant rhymes (half rhymes). This is fine, if it was done intentionally, as a poetic device... However I get the feeling that this is not the case. It just makes the read feel very scruffy.

Always said, but is it ever meant or heard?

This line is rather awkward. Perhaps you could split it up from where the comma lies.

It's going to take time,
Loves not going to happen on a dime

This seems rather forced, because you break the metre of the poem in order to make a rhyme... Not wise. Spend some time thinking about it, and don't just settle for the easiest option.
There also needs to be a ' between love and s. Love's = Love is.

So when you say you love me, mean that
Otherwise its meaningless chat.

This couplet however was brilliant. I really think it is. I might have put "tat" instead of "chat", which means rubbish or something of no worth, but this is a British term... So it might not work for your purposes. Chat works just as well, it's wonderful. I was merely expressing an opinion.

So before you say I love you,
Make sure what you say is true.

An excellent final couplet, I just wish that the opening couplet were as strong.

Overall, this is a lovely poem.
Please accept my star.

Love
Kris
x

Hi Kaylyn.

I liked the basic idea of the poem. It's actually true – how many really means it when they say I love you?

When will guys ever learn?

Can you really say like this? I think it's "will guys ever learn" or "when will guys learn", even though it still sounds a little awkward. But not more awkward than this.

You don't fool me

That much you should be able to see.

The last line sounds like a big jumble of words, and it's not a good thing. The rhyming doesn't work in here because the lines are so uneven, and the idea of this part stays a little blank to me.


The third stanza is my favourite. And with a little work, this poem will be great.

Oh. Remember always to type an apostrophe in the word "it's" (it is).


Demeter xxx

I agree with the two above me
Some parts are awkward sounding such as the "when will guys ever learn?"
The only thing I think needs improvement is the line "loves not going to happen on a dime," because I think that it's a cliche and those should usually be avoided.
Otherwise great poem, I like the idea.

*edited*

Demeter:
Those lines mean that I am smart enough to know that you don't mean it. But thanks, sometimes when I read it I don't catch those things. Thanks!

Kris:
Thanks, alot. I don't think I have ever heard the term tat... But like you said it is a british term. You erview was appriciated. I did mean the slant ryhmes but, there is some lines that could be edited.

PanicAndFlee:
Thanks for the positive crit. Always nice to hear it.

wow!
amazing
i love this poem soooo much
its true in our society people rush love,
say it to much without a meaning,
and bascially dont even know what the word love even means.
this whole poem was amazing and inspired me to write about my experiance with love
thank you so much
great job and keep working

Love-
A simple four letter word,
Always said, but is it ever meant or heard?
It's always thrown around as a simple term
Will guys ever learn?

brilliant!

Hey Kaylyn,

I did feel your poem. Although, I think you tried to rhyme too hard. I find that when I write poetry if I try and make the words rhyme I can't fit in all I want to say. All poems have to do is have a beat and flow, they don't have to rhyme, some of the most beautiful poems don't ryhme. Maybe you did fit in all you wanted to say, I just wanted to let you know that rhyming isn't exactly the only way to go in poetry. I thought it was really good though. It had a good meaning and I totally know what you mean. Guys are just jerks who say I love you to get anything they want. (:

-Freak

This poem has a lot of meaning to it. Some of the lines were forced because you didn't stick to one metre. Well I'm not one to talk about it because I'm more of a free verse person. I just can't and won't stick to a metre.

Anyway the ending of the poem was really strong. Try to get that into the first part of your poem.

Other wise this is really good, and very true.

hey, this one was good, but it had a spelling error. "Though" should be "through" I think. You have come a long way from when you began, good job. You have broadened you horizens. As always keep writing!

Wait, where did I have though in the poem?

Kaylyn wrote:Love-
A simple four letter word,
Always said, but is it ever meant or heard?
It's always thrown around as a simple term
Will guys ever learn?

I want the complete truth
Not your untrue proof
Though you lies, I can see
You'll never hold my heart's key.

For you, I will not fall,
If you want to talk, don't call,
You can talk to me, face to face,
And we'll take this at a decent pace.

It's going to take time,
Taking it slow is not a crime.
So when you say you love me, mean that
Otherwise its meaningless chat.

So before you say I love you,
Make sure what you say is true.

its quite treu and i wlove the way you put it in words.K

good piece right thre

aden"s

What more can I say that hasen't been said already... Well done