Soldier at Rest

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A Soldier at rest

surrounded by poppies

the sun total in his eyes

playing with the sand wound around his hand

Blinks away the dust

hears people singing some false hymn of praise

closes his eyes and sings the happiest psalm

static from his radio doesn’t move him

remembers his coin collection

the one in the top drawer of

his desk in his south-west

ranch style home, the flamingoes in the front yard

Blinks again

touches the two holes in his chest

brought by pure force of welcome
Last edited by errtu2 on Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:42 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Those who control their passions do so because their passions are weak enough to be controlled.
- William Blake
Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.
St. Augustine
When all else fails, we can whip the horses eyes




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Points 1999
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Wow! you certanley can go deep! this poem is filled with emotion, it brought tears to my eyes.. the only thing i can critique is that when you said people were singing, you said "Sining" it just brought on the wrong message.. But other then that, I loved it!! keep up the good work!




*Emily*
I came into this world wrinkled and ugly. And no matter how much I accumulate here, it's a short journey. I will go out of this world wrinkled and ugly. So I enjoy life.




User avatar
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Points 1090
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thanks for the review
Those who control their passions do so because their passions are weak enough to be controlled.
- William Blake
Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.
St. Augustine
When all else fails, we can whip the horses eyes




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1408
Reviews 20
One of the best poems I've read so far. Great flow, quite articulate and carried some emotion. The only error I guess is the spelling of hymn of which you spelled hymm. Great work


errtu2 wrote:
Blinks away the dust

hears people singing some false hymm of praise





User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1090
Reviews 39
Thankee kindly
Those who control their passions do so because their passions are weak enough to be controlled.
- William Blake
Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.
St. Augustine
When all else fails, we can whip the horses eyes



Writing is the geometry of the soul.
— Plato