karma

RIPPLES

I woke up this morning
before a friend came calling.
She said,' a pebble in the water causes
a ripple effect'
and that,' every action has a consequence',
I began to reflect on parts of my life
could this really be ??

Some call it karma
that what goes around, comes back around
that the bad you do, the good you do
always finds its way
back to you, to make u sad or happy,
all the result of the pebble u threw into the water,
ripples of your actions.

Sometimes we wonder
why some go through life smoothly
no ups and downs,just ups never downs
could it be this karma?
could it be that their smooth lives are ripples?
only these ripples are a consequence of their good actions,
of this I am not sure.

I am not sure also
that those who have downs and never ups
are a result of ripples, that they are haunted by the bad they did,
what if it is just luck?
that some are born with it and some without it;
reflecting on parts of mine which has ups and downs, I wonder,
few things I did had no ripples and others had a lot of ripples
some good and some bad.

Though I am unsure
on whether the ripples are karma or sheer luck, or the lack of it,
I am sure of one thing, there are ripples
as my friend said,"a pebble in the water causes a ripple effect,
every action has a consequence".

Hello
Hola
Bonjour

Hey Novice! Having fun? I hope you know the 2:1 rule; for every two reviews you give, you can post one piece of yours. That way everything runs smoothly.

Before I crit anything...

Capitalize your I's! Please! By not doing it, it makes you seem immature. And I don't like that, especially since your writing is very interesting and thoughtful.

From what I see, the narrator is contemplating 'karma'. It kinda makes you think; and I like how you keep asking thoughtful questions and then elaborating on those questions.

Pretty sweet!

Also like how you started with the pebble and the ripple effect.

Some things I didn't like though are the intro. The first sentence doesn't grab my attention, and frankly, I don't know why it's even necessary. Also, the first stanza gets confusing just a little. May I suggest a rewrite?:
She said, "A pebble in the water causes
a ripple effect," and
"Every action has a consequence."

I began to reflect on parts of my life;
could this really be?
Yeah, I know it isn't that great, but I think you get my point.

Use proper punctuation and grammar! Beginnings of sentences start with a capital letter! Some places desperately needed some punctuation and other places didn't need punctuation. Try reading it aloud to yourself and mark where you make pauses and etc. Then place the correct punctuation.

Try not to phrase things so awkwardly.

You aren't IMing your best girlfriend; please spell out 'you'.

sometimes we wonder
why some go through life smoothly
no ups and downs,just ups never downs
could it be this karma?
could it be that their smooth lives are ripples?
only these ripples are a consequence of their good actions,
of this i am not sure.

Try re-wording that so it makes better sense. It gets confusing in the third line. But after re-reading and finally understanding it, this is my favorite stanza. Delete the last line though.

i am sure of one thing there are ripples

Rewrite: I am sure of one thing: There are ripples

And I like your ending! But you still need to work on that punctuation.

That's all I got! PM me if you have any questions!

~LIF

I have karma but at the same time, I also have really good luck. It's partly in response to what I do, but it's also in a part to how lucky you are. And in a way, I'm a really lucky person...not really. I just get along with life really well. But there are also people who control their own luck. Are you one of them?

i think i am one of those who control their own luck, although lately i have been on a streak of bad luck that i begin to think i dont have control after all. I like to believe in karma since it sometimes reminds me to do good to people no matter what they do back(either good or bad)