I l-o-v-e y-o-u {EDITED}

Hello,

I really liked this piece. It's so beautiful; the meaning and emotion in it. I found it to be very sweet and romantic how these two connected. However, I do think that this could be written better. It could use a little more detail in their facial expressions and more advanced descriptive words. But don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved it! I just think it could use a little work, just the things I've previously stated. Nicely done!

keep writing!
cheers
-thevoiceinside

Oh my lardy...this is so beautiful. My heart was racing as i read this.
I nearly teared-up.

This is so beautiful.

That is such a sweet story!! I wish life was always that perfect!!!!!

This is sweet I really like it. I love the elemnets of the story, that Barry can't talk and Ella can't see! It's a good story!

Hello! I really enjoyed this. But I feel that you should elaborate on the couple in the beginning. At first you think that they are teenagers but later in the story you find out that they are in fact seniors. Maybe explain the relationship. I love how this was written. Sweet, simple and to the point. Well done.

Wonderful- very simple, but nicely unfolded for the reader. Very sweet story altogether. I would try to make the end match the rest in originality- I didn't find it up to par with the rest of the piece. Otherwise, this was an excellent write- very well done.

-Coral-

This is really sweet, I didn't catch on to why all Barry's words were in italics until towards the end. : D Nicely done, I enjoyed it!

Oy, guys. This is a topic from nearly two years ago. It's best not to bump up old topics, since likely by now the author isn't working on this piece anymore, and they probably don't want it to be bumped up. Best to focus on the newer stories that are being posted.

Oh my gosh that was just so amazing a beautiful! The way you wrote in their history while they were having a simple, but deep, chat. And how Ella couldn't see and Barry couldn't speak.. why.. it made me cry, it did! *happy tears flowing from eyes*

Simply beautiful <3

WOW
Your story=Total Win!
LOOOOOVE ITTTT!!!

-Soggy

Here's something thats bothering me: How does a blind lady and a man who can't speak communicate? Other than that, nice story!

Aw, this is really sweet. I love how you keep the audiance guessing but it all makes sense in the end. Very, very good story, use of imagery and words was superb. There are a few places where you haven't put italics, but apart from that I can't see anything that would improve the story.

Keep writing,

~Crim

Awww! This is sooooo adorable!!! I love that it doesn't explain whats going on until the end. I was so lost by why it was in italics, I got that she was blind, but now i get it!!!!!!!

I love this, I really do.

I don't have much else to so because I just did love it. At first I thought it was a phone conversation, but then slowly all the little facts come together and you get this sad, sweet, romatic picture. You could almsot put this in the form of a script, and have small paragraphs of description inbetween like you do at the end.

Love to see more of your work.

Izzy xxx