Today, I made a mistake.
Today, I made a fool of myself.
Today, I am humiliated.
I’m in the pep-band right. I’m by no means an amazing player, but I’m definitely not bad. So anyways, we were playing pep-band, right. I was having a pretty good time bustin’ out the jams on the old t-bone. You know, a few minor scale arpeggios, some high b-flats, a little o’ this a little o’ that.
Anyways, I play kills at volleyball games. It’s my thing. I was the one who started playing them when a player hit a kill. It's my fucking thing. You know? “Daa-da-dada-da-dada-dada-da-da… KILL!” Right? Anyway, this dumb bitch (no names), starts spouting off to me saying things like, “I got the kills covered, K?”
And I said, “No, you don’t you dumb fat bitch” (I didn’t actually say that, I would liked to have, though.)
She started playing the kills, and I started to get a little angry. So my friend who was sitting by me, a fellow trombone player says to me, “Dude, you should play a kill and then flip her off afterwards.” This may not sound funny to you now but I can guarantee you that at the time it was a pretty fucking hilarious idea. It was all about comedic timing. You’d have to be there to understand.
So I had a chance to play a kill. And I did. And it was good. So I raised my middle finger in the air so that the dumb bitch behind me could see it in all of its glory.
Thinking thing’s through… How wonderful things would have been if I would have had the hindsight to do so.
Unfortunately, due to the urgings of my good friend and my own immature anger, my hindsight was blurred to the point that I actually thought all this was a very good plan.
Not so.
I didn’t really take into consideration that the entire home crowd was looking at me while I played that glorious kill. I didn’t really take into consideration how pissed people get when they think that you’re giving them the middle finger.
As I lay in my bed right now, typing I can only hope that the pissed off school officials that did see my middle finger erect in all its brilliance, were the only ones who gave a shit.
I apologized profusely to the school officials who were yelling so loudly. It was the only thing I could do. Something I’m pretty good at in fact. Plenty of practice I suppose.
I am responsible for all the shit that went down. I understand that. I did something rather dumb. I understand that, as well.
I can say with a pretty certain certainty that I will never again use my middle finger in a gymnasium ever again.
I can pretty much guarantee that… I’d like to say, ‘scout’s honor’, but I’d be lying if I said that because I’m not a boy scout.
I’m aware that this little anecdote is written pretty horribly. But honestly I don’t really give a rat’s ass. I just wanted to write.
