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Cause well, it was the most horrible poem I have ever written.
Last edited by Kaylyn on Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:56 pm, edited 3 times in total.
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.




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After the rain the world is new

The flowers bloom to view -

The scenery.


the last two lines don't flow very well, as in the rest of the poem it is all a one worded end and the scenery sounds very awkard also the repitition of the doesn't work very well here

I like the overall rythmn of the poem that flowed quite well, and the simplicity of it. Through maybe we can add a bit more imagery, and use similies or metaphor to descripe the scene more .

~Flora




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Thanks, like I said, I don't do well with poetry.
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.




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hey, it has a good topic but I agree that the last lines need to flow better. you could also make it a bit longer and in depth, but those are just suggestions. :wink: and you are good with poetry, you just have to put a little bit more amotion into it. :)
Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole. -Dean, Supernatural




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Oh gosh. This was one of my first poems. Its just so horrible when I compare it to the poems I write now. :( I'm getting better thanks to everyone here.
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.



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