The moment I became

***Marras is an ancient celtic word for friend. It is still used in remote parts of the british isles***


The moment I became,
my thoughts were crimson.
Shrouded in pigment -
thoughts running deeply.
All the cosmos squeezed,
packed and sucked inside.

The moment I became,
I was alone to myself.
Companion-less -
with marras joking long.
Nobody but myself,
save the thought of it.

The moment I became,
my eyes were blazing.
Sparks that light heavens -
shining down on the Earth.
Way down, down and down,
I saw human life for myself...

I was alone no longer.

This was an interesting one. Are you referring to birth, or something else, by chance?

Also, I think that your line "with marras joking long" needs to be 'along,' and I can see now that the computer thinks marras is spelled wrong, though I don't know why. I don't really know what it means, but you obviously do so look into it.

Hope I helped. This was kind of a confusing poem, but I liked the feeling.

This was interesting but I felt it was lacking something. What are you truly speaking of ? Do you want it to be a mystery to the reader? Give it more detail than just 'the moment I became' (dot-dot-dot) The was a okayish poem, it could use a pit more work within the lines and without as well. Good imagery but like a said it could use a bit more work! Keep writing! I have you a 7/10 (: