graduation and pine trees

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silk of different pastels hooks its sharp,
roughly-cut edges into my eyes, plunging
down to my irritated, scarlet core.
plates of exotic entrees and arms around
shoulders and bright wooden backgrounds,
it was all a collection of blades.

hall lights stir feelings of being someone,
and a pretty thought in my head tells me to run.
it's easier to run in steep stilettoes than bare feet.
i try to sprint but all i get are rips and tears
in my skin and blood slipping steadily out.

my lies are so intricate and intoxicated
that they substitute for real life. i breathe a solution
of herhimthemthereitfuturepresent.

yet now a genuine smile radiates these walls.
band six, band five, it hardly contains
a cancerous cell. late-night twists of blankets
and sweating foreheads and bursting heads,
it's all over. for the moment.

so rain drips from the sky and i see her tears.
my mother dressed in black smells like cake.
i see floors of blondes, brunettes, redheads,
it's all a psychedelic riff of beauty. but plastic
pine trees glow warmly, and my fingernails
reflect the misty multicoloured lights.
written: Friday 10th December 2004, 3:53pm.
purple sneakers




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This is quite amazing, i like it alot. Your descriptions are very well done andd also very unique. :)

One thing i'd sugest is capital letters and such, just to make it look alittle neater. Just a suggestion. Hehe. :D

Anyhoo... i'll shut up now...

Bye,

x
So's your face




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Wow, I love how precise this is! It moved at a good pace, but the flow was interupted with the herhimthemthereitfuturepresent. It's such a cool combination of words though....maybe if you listed them on individual lines. I don't know if that would work either...just a suggestion :)
My main project until Script Frenzy is an experiment using blog posts between four characters as episodes of a common story. You can read this work as it progresses at http://knowallchronicles.blogspot.com/.



Everything’s edible if you’re immortal.
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