Life is Death

10 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 25
Life is Death

I bring with me a shroud of night,
with my departure comes the light. But one is the other, the other is one, wrong is right and right is wrong.

The sun and moon are as one breath, death is life and life is death.
The abyss from which the humans came, I see the mortals' final flame.

They always fear me, they hate me so,
They curse me when it's time to go.

When the dead know peace; the mortals cry.
The dead know that it's good to die.

All will know my scythe's sharp sting, the lowliest beggar, the mightiest king.
The final sensation, the final sight, the final ending that no creature can fight.
But death is a blessing and life is a curse;
those who prolong it will end up far worse.

When I come to them; wreathed in mist,
we are one and the same; their name on my list.

All of the living will hear my call,
For I am the Reaper; and I come to all.
Last edited by Cobra on Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
The corpses are piled high around. Blood carpets the floor and flames scorch away the last remnants of humanity. The screams of the damned echo in my head. I smile. I am home.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 12
Wow. A great insight to death's personality. but i think the line "when the dead know peace the mortals cry" should be longer. maybe "when the dead know finally know peace, the mortals always cry". could be good though. just look further at line cylables. capiche?

-Arekkusu
I dont help people on work. Then, if it sucks, i don't get blamed. Haha people. Haha




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1390
Reviews 69
Wow, this is a great piece! I couldn't write something like this if my life depended on it. You have a great rhythm going, and the rhyming doesn't sound forced. There were quite a few lines that made me think, which I love in a poem.
I especially liked this line: "All will know my scythe's sharp sting, the lowliest beggar, the mightiest king."

The problem is, I can't find anything to fix! Maybe my mind has finally been wrung out of all clear thought. Or maybe you're just a great poet. Anyway, sorry I wasn't of much help.

--Anna
"Man needs music, literature, and painting--all those oases of perfection that make up art--to compensate for the rudeness and materialism of life." -Fernando Botero




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 24
wowweee! didn't know you wrote poetry!
(i can tell this is your work though because its so morbid)
But i really like this!
although i do think the line

'All will know my scythe's sharp sting, the lowliest beggar, the mightiest king. The final sensation, the final sight, the final ending that no creature can fight. But death is a blessing and life is a curse; those who prolong it will end up far worse. '

shouldn't be set out the way it is because its just a long long string of words.
set out in a paragraph, it would be more effective
but you should carry on writing scary poetry!
i mean, i hate poetry but i really liked this so please write more morbid poetry!
yay!
The pupil who is never required to do what he cannot do never does what he can do.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them as much.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 62
damn good boy


well done
Is this bass REALLY strong enough?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 300
Reviews 0
really great poem! excelent rhythm and choice of words. I honestly can't find anything that needs changing!
keep writing!

claire x




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1650
Reviews 287
This was AMAZING >_< I love the way you painted with words. It was so fluent and just plain amazing. The way you made death see life was just really nice. I think this should be published. ^_^ I am sorry I just couldn't give a real decent review. :oops:


The sun and moon are as one breath, death is life and life is death.
The abyss from which the humans came, I see the mortals' final flame.


Beautiful.



~BRAVO
check out my deviantart account ^_^
http://maki121.deviantart.com/




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 4518
Reviews 115
This was a fantastic piece of work.

The way you enlightened us on death was very effective.

I really liked these lines:

When the dead know peace; the mortals cry.

The dead know that it's good to die.


All of the living will hear my call,

For I am the Reaper; and I come to all.


Excellent
Too bad we don't live to experinece death




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 3184
Reviews 26
yeh this was so good! I enjoyed reading that well done.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 671
Reviews 32
Such interesting subject. The impression of the Grim Reaper allows the reader to see what it sees when it's time for the person to die. The subject of death is intruqeing. I suggest you keep writing for the sake of writing.
Look down and show some mercy if you can.
Look down, look down, upon your fellow man.

~~~Les Miserables



i think once every new ywser realizes they can manifest themselves into the quote gen by making a post about the quote gen, they make a very inconspicuous post about the quote gen, but deep in their hearts, they know they’ll see that post at the bottom of the page one day. (yeah, i see you mods. you brought this upon us)
— Avian