Dear Percilla

The night is young dear Percilla.
Don't waste time on foolish things.
Worldly love means nothing.
Your smile hypnotizes even the most horrific creature.
Your eyes...they twinkle like the
northern star.
So why sparkle for worldly possesions?
My love for you is a milliom
times the brighter sun. If not more.
Dear Percilla, a fellow is thrice
less the lad am I.
When is your awakening?
When will you realize?
You blind the stars, yet you still
seem to have no respect for yourself.
Return home, dear Percilla, only to
find a lesser man than I.
A summer's time was a lifetime for me.
The courting at home may be grand,
with a promise of rich treasures.
But no man will love you greater than I. What is love if not true?
They only want you for your beauty,
dear Percilla,
but I of your soul.
How wordly possesions blind you so!
The lads back at home,
dear Percilla,
promise you treaure.
But I, dear Percilla,
can only promise you my love.
_____________________________________________________

That was my first post. I'm not sure what to think of it. Let me know what you think be honest! I really want to hear your opinions! -Samantha

this was a good poem but after the

but I of your soul.

,

i kind of lost interest. other than that, the beginning was interesting and i love the way that sound as though you were speaking to someone your mind...that was wicked (good wicked).

justadreamer wrote:Your eyes...they twinkle like the
northern star

I really like this line, but, you shouldn't use the "...." You should just make it a new line. In my opinion, It would look more fitting.
Nice idea, good word choice.

Really good for a first attempt, well done!

Hmmm. It was nice, but a little to flowers-and-perfume-y. None of it seemed very tangible. I don't think any guy, historical or not, would actually say this.