Hopeless lover.

Hopeless lover.
I see other couples and wonder why I can’t be like them.
Why can’t I have somebody to call my own?
I’m a hopeless lover in a world that needs love.
I can't even keep a relationship alive.
Why don't people love me as much as I love them?
I am and will forever be a hopeless lover.

thething912 wrote:Hopeless lover.
I see other couples and wonder why I can’t be like them.
Why can’t I have somebody to call my own?
I’m a hopeless lover in a world that needs love.
I can't even keep a relationship alive.
Why don't people love me as much as I love them?
I am and will forever be a hopeless lover.

I was going to do this line by line, but I think it'd be easier to give my overall impression.

This is very underdeveloped. No emotion. No originality. No imagery. Just bleh.
Wow, I feel like a broken record tonight. I'm coming across poems that have these same problems.

Yes, I get it, but I'm not feeling it. Try adding a little of some of the things I said you lacked, and this could so much better.

Good Luck!

I'm not feeling it, either. Sure, you've told us how you feel, but you need to show us what it's like, maybe give an example of other couples? Because I could probably empathize with this, but at the moment it doesn't stir any emotion. Try adding more description, something original to make me feel the way you/the narrator feels.