Beautiful and frozen

Bering Sea



The Bering sea so deadly and amazing

beautiful and frozen

water, oh so bold



The Bering sea many lives its taken

each soul is forever gone

everyone that goes has a chance to make it

but someone has to pay a deadly cost



Waves are at 50 feet daily

even higher during a storm

these waves provide a watery grave for many

although mourners flowers are often missed

The spacing strikes me as odd. Not the format, but the way you've spaced your lines and stanzas. They're so spread out!

Grammar:
You can choose whether or not to use punctuation in a poem, and you can choose how to do it in a way you can't with prose, but to make this work you need to be consistent with your punctuation and grammar. Don't forget apostrophes! You used its correctly in the second stanza, but in the last stanza, correct "mourners" to "mourner's."

Overall:

I found this bland. I think you gave yourself the opportunity to elaborate, explore, but didn't take it, especially in the first stanza.

The Bering sea so deadly and amazing
beautiful and frozen
water, oh so bold

You could go more in depth with the way the Bering Sea looks. Use images, and imagery, to your advantage. "beautiful and frozen" is very dry, and it doesn't give me much of an image. Try exploring with comparisons and imagery. Show me the Bering Sea is beautiful, don't tell me.

"Water, oh so bold" I'm not a fan of the "oh so." It seems like an attempt to be poetic. These attempts usually fail. Water usually isn't bold, and you have the start of something there, but you could go deeper with that, again, show us how the water is bold.

I think that the most potential is shown in the first stanza, but maybe you could go through the second and third, and look to see things you could show instead of tell, things that you could go deeper with.

Another thing to think about is rhythm! It's the musicality of a poem, the way things fit. This reads like fragmented prose, fragments of sentences.

Imagery: In case you aren't familiar with this term (I wasn't until a few months ago), it's using the five senses to your advantage, use them to describe things, make things come to life, show things.

Explore, and good luck exploring!

Wow this sounds really good (:
I'm not all that good with poetry, but I still like reading it (I just can't wite it!! ) But this was reallyyy good
Lucyy xxx

{sorry, that's not a very useful critique ...}