Shoot the Dove

Please read this poem,
And do take your time.
It is about us,
And about your crime.

I gave you my heart,
And it came with a reason.
You stole it and broke it,
Then left like a season.

I told you once,
And I'll tell you twice.
Your heart is black,
Love slips off the black ice.

What am I saying?
That's not a heart.
It cannot love;
I could tell from the start.

You're under penalty of law,
For playing with love.
Kill two birds with one stone,
But, first, shoot the dove.

Remember this poem;
Remember forever.
Remember when I will love again,
And that will be never.

unsterblichkeit36 wrote:I gave you my heart,
And it came with a reason.
You took it and broke it,
Then left like a season.

I think the poem is very intresting,

I prefer not to use "Took" in my writings, as it sounds funny. Maybe use Stole?

Also

Remember this poem;

Remember forever.

Remember when I will love you,

And that will be never.

Didn't he break your heart because you thought he loved you? Sorry just got confused on the ending when you said you would never love him.

err.. wow.. at the begining of your poem it sounds like your begging people to read it. it doesnt give out a good message. also, in the third line, you said black twice, maybe subsitituing one of them with the word dark




XOXOXOXOXO
Emma

i like it but try changing the beginning it's kinda weird.....
and when you said:

What am I saying?
That's not a heart.
It cannot love;
I could tell from the start.

i had to read it again because i didnt understand it and it didnt flow together at all